I always get this feeling. That feeling of dread. Dread and fear, I’m sure you have experienced it too. When your skin tingles, you start to sweat and the fear slowly fills your body.
You may get this feeling now and then, but for me, this fear, this horrible feeling, it occurs every night. Every time the sun goes down. You see, I believe a fear of the dark isn't the fear of the darkness itself; it's what's inside it. A fear… of the unknown.
But that’s the strange thing. I'm not afraid of the dark; well, I wasn't. When I was young, I never slept with the light on, I never had a nightlight.
But recently, I have had an irrational, or so I thought, fear of… well, I have a fear of windows. Lately, whenever I look into through a window, these feelings of fear strike me like lightning. I can't control it, and before, I couldn't explain it. I feel I need to record my thoughts down because, honestly, I don't think I can take much more of this. I apologise if this is brief, but I need to stop this torture.
Have you ever looked through a window, into complete blackness? Sure you have, have you ever wondered what is in that blackness? Some of you, maybe. But have you ever SEEN what is in that blackness? Because I fear I am the only one to see the true horror that lurks inside it.
It started about… three weeks ago, I think. I live in a fairly small town close to London. I had recently moved in to this house and was still getting used to the place. I had just started to get into these scary stories online. Anyway, I had a strange urge to feel fear, and horror movies these days are mediocre at best. So I searched online for anything that could scare me.
After sifting through video after video of those annoying "screamers" on YouTube. I came across a website full of these scary stories. While many stories were okay, every once in a while I came across a gem. And, by the end of the night, I was extremely paranoid, well and truly creeped out. And I welcomed the sunrise.
But the next night, I noticed the paranoia return. It seems that these stories really got to me. I was uncomfortable. I just felt incredibly nervous. I had a strange feeling that there was someone, or something in my house. These stories were really fucking with my mind. I couldn’t just ignore the feeling, I had to look around. I checked every corner, cupboard and room to ease the fear. I knew I was acting stupid. But the childish attitude and memories of irrational childhood fears shrouded my mind, and, just like a child, I had to keep checking. I was seriously convinced I wasn’t alone. It was a horrible feeling. In the spirit of my childish attitude, I automatically jumped to the conclusion that whatever was in my house wasn’t human. I found myself repeating, under my breath "Monsters don't exist" "Monsters DON'T exist!” However childish and silly this was, it seemed to reassure me. And I decided to end my "Monster Search". As I returned to the safety of my well-lit living room as quick as I could, I noticed something in the corner of my eye. It was quick, and it appeared to be outside my kitchen window, my heart skipped a beat. Surely I was just seeing things in my paranoia, the mind can play tricks on you, Right?
I shrugged this off as any rational person would, but in the back of my mind, I knew I saw something. The fear kept me awake the entire night. I was so afraid; I locked my living room door and spent the rest of the night watching cartoons just to get my mind off the fear. For about 2 weeks, I was cautious, but there was no sign of anything, just the occasional feeling of uneasiness.
The fear seemed to have vanished almost completely by the end of the second week. I slept like a baby and went about my life as usual. Until I decided to revisit the website again. It was like I needed to read these stories, a strong urge for fear. So there I was again, searching for the best stories, looking at the creepiest pictures and generally scaring the shit out of myself. It was like the first time, but this time I attempted to get some sleep. My bedroom window is opposite to my bed. I was fine with this the duration of my stay in the room, because I had no reason not to be. But, as I faced away from the window this night.
I could feel it; I could feel someone, or something watching me. I could hear nothing but the occasional cricket chirp, the dead silence was extremely tense, but there was something there. I swear I could hear it breathing. And I had a feeling it was the thing from two weeks ago. I could feel its eyes piercing into me, do you ever get the feeling of intense fear, you know, to the point of being frozen? This was how I felt. I didn't dare turn around, because being face to face with whatever was opposite to the thin glass window of my room was not an appealing thought. And I certainly didn't want it to know that I was aware of its presence. I just wanted it to leave.
Each minute felt like an hour, and I could still feel its eyes upon me. I couldn't take it anymore, surely I was just paranoid. There couldn't be anything watching me, I was on the first floor of my house. For god’s sake! After a few agonizing minutes of reassuring myself, I decided to make the biggest mistake of my life, and I quickly turned to face the window.
What I was faced with is still clear in my memory as I’m typing this. The most horrifying thing I have ever seen. I seemed to have startled it, because I managed to get a good look at it before it....disappeared, it moved like nothing I had ever seen. It was fast, very fast. The eyes were the first thing I noticed, they glowed yellow, bright yellow. Piercing eyes, no wonder I felt it watching me. Behind the fog of its breath against my window I also noticed a huge pair of teeth, huge, sharp teeth.
They could easily rip through anything that they come in contact with. I also noticed to the left of its strangely animal-like head, a large hand, tipped with claws equally as large and sharp as its teeth. The moment went by so fast; only in hindsight can I clearly picture the face in the window. I’m not sure if I was more scared at that moment, or when I picture it in my mind today. Until the sun came up, which must have been about 4 hours, I sat in my bed, frozen, staring at the window in fear of its return. I had never been so glad to see the sunrise.
A week has passed since I saw it. It’s still here. I can feel his eyes on me all the time, even as I’m writing this, I know it’s watching. I won’t turn to face it; I refuse to scar my sanity any further. But is it going to be here forever? Is it real? Why the fuck is it after me?! I don’t think it wanted to be seen; why else would it run every time I look at the windows?
Whatever it is, it started with those stories. Maybe it’s attracted to fear. What I don’t understand is, what does it want? If it wanted me dead, I’m sure it would have done that already. Does it want to torture me? Maybe it enjoys watching me slowly lose my mind. I can’t sleep, I can’t go out at night, he might be waiting for me. I am safe in the daytime. But the winter is coming, and the days are getting shorter. I am seriously going insane. I’m even considering suicide. Every day the idea seems more and more appealing. I don’t think I will last long, honestly.
The reason I am writing this is not only to tell my story, but also to warn anybody reading. Whenever you feel eyes upon you, wherever you are, just ignore it. Whenever you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, don't investigate. If you feel you are being watched, do NOT look at the windows.