JULY 2nd, 6:03 AM: You’re doing an exceptional thing here, Dane. I am proud of you. All of us are very proud of you.
JULY 2nd, 10:26 AM: Remember that breathing will not be quite the way you remember it because the esophagus is not where it used to be and your body needs time to readjust itself. This is the body’s only function and if you are patient it will succeed. Move through it like Nigerian rain. See the place in your organs where you want the wind to blow.
JULY 2nd, 2:12 PM: I’m glad to hear eating wasn’t too difficult. You’re doing good so far.
JULY 3rd, 6:01 AM: That’s not real, Dane, that was a dream. You’re going to be having a lot of dreams from now on and that’s normal. The dreams mean nothing and they can’t hurt you.
JULY 3rd, 6:04 AM: NO I forgot to tell you Dane there is one dream that can hurt you, the dream of the white moth. If you see the white moth Dane you need to get out of that dream as fast as you can. You need to run out of that dream. Was that the dream you had? You need to tell me IMMEDIATELY.
JULY 3rd, 9:35 AM: Could you not be so very limpid the next time you go outside, everyone sees you and they don’t trust you. I wouldn’t trust you either. This isn’t going to work if nobody trusts you.
JULY 3rd, 10:14 AM: You need to tell me what your dream was about in detail.
JULY 3rd, 4:51 PM: That cocoon won’t hide you if you make it from straw. You need to find some plywood and peel the topmost layer of fiber off it if you want the conductor to spool like it’s supposed to. Give me a call when you find it. I have a hammer and tongs I can lend to you.
JULY 3rd, 7:09 PM: Wait until you’re asleep to start panicking. Jody will give the high sign when it’s okay for you to let loose.
JULY 4th, 3:13 AM: Alright, good, great. Happy 4th of July, by the way.
JULY 4th, 8:16 AM: It doesn’t work that way. Eyes don’t just go back in like they’re supposed to. Focus on your breathing like we talked about earlier.
JULY 4th, 2:27 PM: You won’t believe it: Ted took off his livery, folded it up neat as a housecat, left it on a park bench and ran off into the river. Turn out his pouches and fuck him good. There will be room for mistakes.
JULY 4th, 10: 23 PM: Pamplemousse is the French word for grapefruit. Why do you ask?
JULY 5th, 4: 33 AM: The fur is supposed to taste that way, it’s moldy because it’s full of antibiotics that are fighting to keep you healthy and strong. I know you are angry but you should not have attacked that man. That man was a good man. That man was an organ donor.
JULY 5th, 8:02 AM: Your veins have shaped into lilac, I can smell them from here. When sounds slurp out of you try to make them sound like “Dane.” The comedown is happening even as we speak. The goal is almost in sight.
JULY 5th, 11: 46 AM: That woman’s cortex is brisket, her skin is made of knives that will make you bleed sweet tea when you cut the roof of your mouth on them. Be a man and end this now.
JULY 5th, 5: 51 PM: You are absolutely forbidden from sleeping in the middle of the day, do you understand? It’s the wheel for you and me both if they catch wind of it. You have to breathe like we talked about. WAKE UP
JULY 5th, 9:04 PM: You are a disaster Dane, you are a fucking imbecile, I have no faith in anything you say or do. I told you to WAKE UP
JULY 6th, 7:27 AM: I am growing wings each time I talk to you, stubby and wispy, you could punch through them with a loud cough. Every woman I meet now is named Bernice. Something has gone wrong. How could you do this to me?
JULY 6th, Noon: No Don’t show that to me, don’t come find me, you need to hide that, you need to break it down to pieces so small they can fit under your fingernails and then you need to go to the morgue, lift up all the skins you see and put each piece in a different body’s bone until it vanishes into the dead blood rivers like it never was here at all. You can do this. I am going to be alright. We are going to be alright.
JULY 6th, 1:15 PM: If you saw the white moth you need to let me know so we can get it handled as quickly as possible. I am not even close to fucking around here.
JULY 6th, 6: 38 PM: Find Lennox, loop him across the scaffolds in his attic until he is a spider web. This has to stop.
JULY 7th, 2:19 AM: When did the cop show up? What did he say to you exactly? There’s a face in my bedroom mirror about as wide across as my torso that won’t stop chewing its tongue at me and I’m wondering if the two are in some way related. The stench in here is putrid.
JULY 7th, 8: 22 AM: Tomorrow is the weekend so some of this should abate by then. I keep saying to you that you must focus on your breathing. Find your neck.
JULY 7th, 3:57 PM: I think if I had as many eyes as the moon I would be just as stupid as you are. That man was a good man. That man was an organ donor.
JULY 8th, 12: 39 AM: There’s a white moth sitting on the top of my head but I don’t think I’m in the dream and even if I were it wouldn’t be dangerous for me. Why can I see the top of my head?
JULY 8th, 4:04 AM: They won’t come out
JULY 8th, 2:01:29:2N:03:GH: I’ll write a note that quotes Fortinbras and pin it to your breastbone before they can find you. These wings belonged to you this whole time and I am so wretchedly sorry that I am only realizing this now but I promise I will return them before all this is done.
JULY 8th, 2:01 PM: That’s nothing to worry about, Dane. That’s just your gullet melting to the plywood. You’ve finally found your esophagus. Breathe.
JULY 8th, 9AAARCHIMEEEDES: When I used to get afraid as a boy I would cut my palms and lick tangerines until the liquids tasted the same to me. I would roll my eyes until I could see into the back of my brain which is why I have never had a subconscious and why I don’t dream. That’s why I was excited when you signed us up for this Dane, because I am mentally infertile and my body cannot differentiate between conflicting experiences anymore. And sure enough when the injections came for you it was as hot as bombs in the subway, tens of thousands of miles away I felt them suck your soul out through your teeth. I know now that you dreamed the white moth and I am not angry with you anymore. The experiment was a success. The Body is now supplicant.
JULY 9th, 7:00 AM:
And then the wheel caught fire