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Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily and Matthew Kyle, July 17th 2001, 7:21 p.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Hello? Hey, it’s Earl, the estate agent? Yeah, hi. Um, well I’m going to be helping you in choosing your house over the next couple of weeks. I, uh, saw that you have already looked at several houses in the area and I think now I have a fairly good idea of the sort of thing you’re looking for, so I hope I can be of good help. That’s all for now I guess, I look forward to meeting you in the next couple of days so we can discuss details. Thanks, talk to you soon.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily and Matthew Kyle, July 21st 2001, 6:47 p.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Hello? Hey, it’s me again. Well, it was really nice meeting you two, you seem like a lovely couple. For some reason in my mind I had pegged you as siblings looking to move in together. Don’t ask why, though I suppose you do look rather similar. It was wonderful hearing about how you met and your plans for marriage and stuff, it makes me happy to know that others are finding love and happiness in these difficult times. I uh, I’m not married or anything. I had a wife once, my god she was beautiful. The sort of beauty that would more than compare to the night sky on an autumn night. The birds would become silent should they hear her voice. I miss her so much. Oh my god I miss her so much. I was stupid, oh so stupid. A-anyway, I digress. Uh, it was nice meeting you two and I think I have some substantial information as to how I can help you. Oh, I’d love to have you two round to my house sometime, for dinner or to watch sports or movies (romances are my favorites). Anyway, goodnight.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily and Matthew Kyle, July 22nd 2001, 9:29 p.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Hey there! Uh, hey listen. I was thinking about what you said the other day about my ex-wife, and I’m now absolutely certain that there is no way I can forget about her. She was my everything. She was the absolute light of my life. Back then, I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without her... and now it’s here. She was so beautiful. So beautiful. Rather like you, Emily. Uh, it helps that all of the houses you’ve looked at so far have been with us, so I’m quite glad of that fact, especially as it means I get to spend more time with you. Um, sorry for the kind of off-topic voicemail, I just needed to get that off my chest somehow. I still keep meaning to ask you over for dinner, but I’m sure I can organize something in the next couple of days. Speak to you soon, Earl.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily and Matthew Kyle, July 24th 2001, 3:53 p.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Hi guys, I just thought I’d let you know that there is a new house up for sale in the area. It matches your current needs; four bedrooms, two bathrooms, dining room, media room and large master bedroom with a balcony. Uh, there’s currently some work being done on the back of the house by the current owner, something about repairing the external railings on the balcony, I don’t know, so there are currently a couple of ladders and some scaffolding set up at the moment, but should you choose to buy the house, I’m sure it would be gone within a month, if that. I just thought I’d let you know, and if you get back to me soon I think I should be able to arrange to look around tomorrow. Talk soon, Earl.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily Kyle, July 26th 2001, 1:19 a.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Um, I’m sorry if there was a misunderstanding yesterday, I didn’t mean to offend either of you in any way. Although, I still don’t think I deserved what your husband did, Emily. All I did was offer you a compliment on how beautiful you looked in that dress. Oh how very beautiful. You reminded me of my wife. I really don’t think it was worth your husband doing what he did. He wasn’t going to compliment you on your beauty, someone had to do it. I was very touched when you sought to defend me after that great hulking brute came charging at me. I was immensely shocked when he hit you out of the way to try and get to me. No man should ever lay a harmful hand upon a lady, never. That’s what my wife always used to say, heh. I always agreed. I always agree with a lady, for a lady is always correct. Your husband doesn’t seem to be nearly as courteous as you deserve, for a lady of your beauty deserves to be treated with respect befitting a princess. Again, many apologies. I’ll have to invite you round soon to watch a movie. How do you feel about "The Notebook"? Speak soon, Earl.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily Kyle, September 17th 2001, 4:37 p.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Congratulations on your successful move! I’m so happy that all went well for you Emily, even if we haven’t spoken for over a month. Heh, you never answer your phone anymore though. Oh, one thing I thought I ought to mention, the previous owners complained before about strange noises and goings on in that house. Uh, they said something about hearing floorboards creaking, wardrobes opening, you know, all the generic creepy stuff. I can assure you that these most certainly are not true, as the house was built quite recently and there are only floorboards in one area of the house, which is the balcony. They did say something about hearing other strange things in the night though, stuff like lights being switched on downstairs, taps running and a strange metallic clanking that they couldn’t place. The woman said something about sensing a figure in the room at night as well. This, I am not so sure about. There is one thing I am sure about though, Emily. You remind me of my wife. Oh god why did she have to leave. I almost wish she’d died, so I didn’t have to live knowing she’s happy with someone else. It was one stupid mistake. Rather, a few but I never thought she’d leave me for it. Oh, you remind me so much of her. I want you, Emily. I want to be with you, Emily. Please. This is the perfect time for you to leave that lumbering oaf and come with me. You don’t even have to move houses. Talk soon, Earl.
Voicemail: Earl Thompson to Emily Kyle, September 24th 2001, 12:00 a.m. 2347 Paper Street, Portland, Oregon
Emily, I thought you were better than this. I thought what we had was special. Does that not mean anything to you? No matter. I knew it would happen eventually. Just like it happened with my wife, my prying will cause me to lose you too. Hehehe, do you want to know why my wife left me? Well, I often used to sneak out at night. She caught me one night. She demanded to know where I was going. I had to confess. She kicked me out. I haven’t been living at the house you think I have. Have you not checked your new address yet? Now I don’t need to invite you round to watch romantic comedy movies; you’re already in my house. Some may say that I’m in your house, but so long as I can get in at night using the ladder on the balcony to eat and have a shower, then I consider it my house. Don’t worry, I don’t bite. Talk soon, whether you know it or not, Earl.