I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I have recently come up with the topic lately. It’s bullying. It’s not the best feeling when you’re a victim.

I will admit that I really have no room to talk about the bullies being the villains. Shamefully admitting, I was a bully. I picked on a special ed kid (being special ed myself). I have grown up and realized what I did was stupid a cruel. He left before I could ever deliver an apology. I will admit I do feel sorry even to this day

That happened in about 7th grade I presume. It was about mid 8th to early 9th grade when I realized it. I was a bullying victim myself. I was so far out of the norm that people constantly picked on me. They ran away from me. They wouldn’t let me play games with them or anything. I had my small group of friends who were picked on like I was. They were not picked on like I was, but they were picked on a lot.

I was depressed. I hated school. I hated myself. I wanted to be normal. All I wanted to do was fit in. somewhere, anywhere, it didn’t matter! I was in elementary school when I have had thoughts of suicide. I never acted on these thoughts because I knew there was no point.

It wasn’t until 6th grade when I realized that none of those words mattered. It took me half a year in a mental facility and two or three months in foundations to realize that. Out of all of that, all I could think, “Someone get me out of here!” I wanted to go home. I just couldn’t stand the really challenged people there.

All of that was in 5th grade. That woke me up. Eventually, I learned to let the entire bullying roll off me. Does some of it still hurt? Yes. Am I still affected? Yes. I will admit that. It still hurts. Does it hurt as much now as it did then? No. Do these wounds I encounter everyday eventually heal? Most. I will admit that some last a little while.

Don’t be a bully. I will tell you that you will wind up regretting it. I most certainly did. It hurts more than when you were a victim.

I constantly hear that I’m just punching bag for the bullies. I really don’t care. They say that I should stop it before anyone else gets hurt by them. What can I do? I can send dozens of reports and constant talks and all, but the parents rarely get involved. I try and I try. All I can do is be a punching bag. What the bullies don’t realized that I heal unlike most of their victims. I’m like a muscle in your body. They cause microscopic tears in my self-esteem. But when I recover from those tears, I become stronger. I become more immune.

If you want my advice, here it is: if you are suffering from bullying, looks passed their words and stares and find a future for yourself. I know that it’s hard. I did it. I have descent grades and plans for college. I plan to go to a university. Most of those bullies don’t even touch a college application let alone go to college and be successful. You can look down on them after all the hard work you put it and propelled yourself ahead while they will only lag behind. In the real world, it doesn’t matter if they were popular in school. It doesn’t matter about what sport you played. Chances of becoming a sports star or some type of idol is slim to none. If they were good sports stars, chances of becoming an all-star is incredibly slim. Think rational and reasonable because you, if you work hard, will benefit more and gain more in life than them if they do not clean up their acts eventually.