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Well, since this is my first blog post, I guess it should be about something profound. I had something in mind a while ago but I have too many things in mind and in the end the idea gets lost in the vortex of my thoughts, never to be found again. I like to think of it as a vortex, it makes it seem like there's so much more to it, veiled in clouds of emotion and perhaps a thought too deep to be understood by the thinker herself. It seems strange, though, the human mind. On one side there's the part of us that believes in everything around us and much, much more. On the other, there's us, feeding our own fears and grievances by petty little comments and too much self doubt and too many memories. It's like our mind is cannibalistic.
Maybe it's stupid, maybe it's not. Either way, it's us. Are we truly a danger to ourselves? Some of us fear death, some crave it and some just ponder over it. I do not know which category I fit into, but I suppose I am part of all. We all are, at some point in our lives. We need to know what happens after death, we need to know what happens before. We refuse to die and innovate so that we can live longer, better too. We always need something to look forward to, and for that we have to be immortal, so we try.
Why the hell do we try? Why the hell do we have to keep delaying the inevitable? Why is there still hope when the tunnel's at its end? Sometimes I refuse to be a part of the plague of humans, but I am, and I'm determined to live, perhaps not forever, but at least for now. I feel like I have to have a reason to do everything, and so I make everything i work on my reason to go on. And right now, my reason to live is this blog post.
It's kind of pessimistic, sorry.