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Something absurd

So I say something serious to mum, wide-eyed and everything, and you would guess her reaction. When I say that, I mean you. Would. Never. In. Your. Wildest. Dreams. Okay, okay, I'll put you out of your misery. She goes on about how cute I am and how huge my cheeks are and how she's gonna pack me up in a bag and carry me around like a portable device, or, rather, an IoS app.

Pari in a box! (only for $0.99)

.-.

And at this point it's your cue to say something along the lines of:

I knew that.

that's exactly what I screamed at the PC!

I could have guessed that. (Given enough time and resources)

But this, this is the strange part:

Remember the blog post about women empowerment, yada...yada...?

Well, when I expressed my desire to go to Antarctica, she went on about how I'll be eaten by penguins, hence completely ruining my perception about the beautiful, black-and-white creatures, and, of course, Gunther.

Any thoughts?

Thought so.

i would rather be eaten alive by penguins than mosquitoes, which I am.

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