Recently, I've been wanting, more than anything I might add, to be a female. As a result of this, I've actually began to consider getting a sex change. Though, the last time I told my mother--the only parent I have at the moment mind you, she yelled at me about it. And recently, we got into an argument in which she told me that I'm too young to know I'm transgendered. I know I'll have to eventually tell her, because I'll need to start seeing a gender therapist (which I don't want to do, believe me), popping pills and further things that will result in having someone...invert my dick or something.

I've been thinking about waiting until I'm out on my own to even start the process, but then (from what I've read), the results of a sex change would suck, because I believe it's said that the best ages were from, like, birth to age 35 or something. But I don't want my family to know anything until after I've finished the long process of becoming a woman because I know they won't be happy about it and I fear that if I begin the process with their knowledge of it, they will try to interfere, especially if I'm living with my mother--someone who comes from a family, my family, who frowns upon people who do this.

Also, like my family, I am a very religious person. So, I'm fearful as fuck about what God would think of me going against Him and growing into femaleness even though I was born a man. I've been asking today about what He would think about the wole thing, whether He would be against it, supporting of it or not giving a damn about it. I'm waiting on some sort of answer, but I fear it's never going to come, it won't be good or I can't heat nor see it. I just don't want to have to live the way I want to live and risk burning for an eternity just for spending four-five years and eighty-thousand dollars to become a girl.

It's just...all I need is the approval, support or whatever the case may be of my family and Holy Father, only then can I begin my path to womanhood. I just don't know what to do in case everyone in my life is against it.

I'm sorry for wasting your time with these paragraphs...