Well hi. I asked Dorky for a short Creepypasta to riff, what he suggested was acceptable. I want to apologize, though, for not posting this weekend. I was crammed for time and the first riff I was working on was deleted. Anywho, I am riffing Instant Death Disease. So, as tradition goes, this is where I say, "Let's riff this bitch"

I was a worker, working at Colkinom  Fun fact, Colkinom is actually a comic person that you can find through Charahub Laboratories, Wales. We work with drugs It’s always the Columbian Drug Lords! and medical elements, creating cures and vaccines. My boss told me that whatever I do, I should never tell anyone about what we are doing And yet you are telling us now, you obviously don’t know what never means.. He began acting strangely only a few weeks ago, when we began Project Axolotl Also known as Mexican Salamander: We were aiming to give humans the ability to regenerate lost limbs

  • cough cough* Deadpool *cough* .

But it went wrong. Horribly wrong Hey, Deadpool isn’t that bad!.

My boss called me up to see him “He said he had some ‘work’ for me to do with him”. He is a tall man with dark hair . He told me that there seemed to be a problem with Testing Area 5B Probably because you put an odd number and no vowel, shame on you , where my best friend was working Rule #1: You don’t work with your best friend unless you are ready for something bad to happen. .Of course, I immediately took the job of going down there and checking with him if all was good That is hardly a job, why couldn’t the boss do it? Shouldn’t he make sure his employees are all in order?. It was not.Probably thanks to the crappy boss.

My friend was sweating terribly and breathing heavily. “He seemed to have lost his trousers, I wondered what that was all about”  His hands were shaking and he backed away from the testing area. Oh, looks like you had gotten there just in time for the show.  I had never been in a testing area Apparently he hasn’t been in any testing area anywhere, he doesn’t even know Rule #1, as stated above, of professional work!; well, not while there was a professor at work, anyway . I worked upstairs, where we formed chemical combinations “like H2O and C2O” and researched, dissected and examined Dissected and examined what? There is a thin line between acceptable and illegal in this world of science and government, what have you been snooping around inside of?. I thought that, in the testing area, we'd be testing on animals Well, I guess humans are technically animals. No matter how cruel that sounds,  it sounded a whole lot better than what they were actually doing “Partaking in a group get together to watch Fifty Shades of Grey in an over-priced theater” .

Testing on humans Oh, I still think the  Fifty Shades of Grey thing is worse. .

He backed away from the glass panel and I stared through, asking what was wrong Apparently whatever was wrong isn’t obvious enough. His hands trembled and he tried to pull me away, telling me not to look So far, these reactions still apply to the whole anti-Fifty Shades of Grey schpeel I have been prodding at.. The humans were there, all dead Well I mean, they were gonna die anyway, so why bother making them live with experimentational memories?. I was immediately sickened, the idea of testing on each other sounded horrible to me I was taught that social and personal experimentation would help broaden one’s horizons, but apparently I was taught.. But I noticed that one was alive. She held her child in her arms. We were also testing on small children Where did you get your children and other small test subjects? How are they not noted as missing or something?.

Suddenly, she looked at the corpses “‘They deserved to die with that fashion sense’, she said with a scoff”. She looked at us, and mouthed something “ ‘F**k you’..or ,‘vacuum’, those silly mouth games always fooled me in school” . I looked away and didn't see; the sight of death itself proved too much for me That rhymed, is this the origin of Dr. Suess?. But I heard a sickly groan from my friend . Dread filled me That couldn’t be the only thing that filled you. . I grabbed him by the shirt and shook him Of course, that is what I do when my friend is sick. Shake them. . He gave a hollow rattle, as if there were no internal organs in him If there are no organs, that doesn’t explain the hollow rattle, unless his bones were falling within the cavity of his torso.  I felt the sudden need to get as far away as I could. I cupped my hands over my ears and closed my eyes “if I can’t see it, it isn’t there’, I thought as my friend vomited on me”, running (although bumping Bumping? No, you were straight running into walls and probably broke your nose at some point. into walls) all the way back to my boss' office I bet your boss knows that there is something wrong and didn’t wanna risk his safety going down there..

I told him frantically what happened, waving my arms madly  Sure way to get thrown in the looney bin. . My boss' eyes opened wide. But then he smiled. He grinned. Began laughing Called it. . That laugh was not of mirth, it was of insanity, it drove me mad, his demonic chuckle screaming through the room.

He explained.”’This was all a prank, April fools, you idiot’, he said through spurts of laughter”

We had been forming a disease. A new, special disease How did they not notice that there was a sort of, oh I don’t know, deadly pattern to whatever they were messing with? . It would instantly kill our opponents Woah there, I know that Klondike Bars are good, but you don’t have to kill others in order to get one. . He had injected one dose into the test subjects in 5B, then told one of the men to read off a card “on the card was an excerpt from Twilight:New Moon”. Once he read it, he gave out a sickening gasp “at first they thought it was because he was sickened by the passage, but no”. He was dead. When his body was examined by scientists just a few rooms away from me (the thought of this caused me to vomit) they found that he had lost all of his internal organs. All at the same time How’d they figure out the timing? . His death had been instant, but excruciatingly painful for that fraction of a second Honey, it wouldn’t have been as painful had you not made them read an excerpt from Twilight.

The thing is, the woman next to him heard what he said and suffered a similar fate, only mouthing the words to the man next to her How could the man know what she is saying precisely? Mouthing words and lip reading is a lot harder than you might think.. He then shouted the words; only heard by the baby; the last woman was deaf and mute Just for the sake of plot.. The woman was terrified at losing her baby. She went insane, but did not show symptoms of the disease I guess that the deaf and mute aren’t affected due to their inability to hear this stories bullshit. She cradled the baby, and wrote to the scientists;

'Why won't my baby drink?Because, he is under aged. Why is he so pale? How come he's so cold?You could say he’s an “Ice Ice Baby”'

This was too much to bear; the card was shown again, and after reading it, and mouthing the words to my best friend, died What can I say? Even the deaf and mute aren’t safe from reading the Twilight excerpt.. Anyone who says the name of the disease, reads it, hears it, sees it lip-read, feels it in braille, sees it in Morse code or click code or any language, is instantly killed.And they said words could never hurt you.  Instant; although unbelievably painful, he said.

He asked me if I wanted to know the name of the disease.Let me take a wild guess.

I screamed no, covered my ears and ran outside the door.

When I peered back, my boss was laughing Why did you peer back?. He hadn't even said it.I wouldn’t have said it either, watching people run away with their ears covered is pretty funny.

I went home, trying not to think about it God forbid you go to the police like a decent person.. When I went to bed, I dismissed it as A: A crazy dream or B: My boss pulling a prank You know what they say, when you assume you make an ass out of [you]  and “me”. However, I felt like I was lying to myself. I couldn't help but feel that way So go tell the police and have it professionally investigated. . I couldn't get to sleep. I felt a churning in the pit of my stomach Well, at least you had a stomach, my head throbbed like it was imploding and I felt as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to my shins Are we still talking about the feeling of shock, or are you doing something under those sheets?. Deciding to call in sick, I rung up my boss in the morning. I explained to him. He just laughed, his sickening chuckle dissolve into a disconcerting giggle.How cute. He told me, OK, but I'd be missing out And living, don’t forget that part..

It was in all the newspapers.Who reads newspapers anymore? (oh wait, I do)

Colkinom Laboratories shut down. All employees found dead. Company President Mr. B. H. Large found dead in office. No evidence of how deaths occurred, no weapon found, no gas leaks/sign of accident. Only worker survived: C. W. Dickenson, stayed home sick.Great, he’ll be suspected of staging a murder in some absurd way.

I couldn't take it. I packed everything I could grab into a suitcase That won’t be suspicious , smashed open my rainy day jar (the contents of which amounted to about fifty pounds Well now I know I was supposed to be reading this with an accent. ) and stuffed the notes and coins into my wallet, which now felt like a lead weight Well, at least you have a use for /your/ wallet. . I started up my car, cranked up the radio, regardless of what was on We all know it was on the station where they preach about God watching you and you changed it., and floored it. I drove as far as I could, until I had almost crossed the border Isn’t that a movie?. My radio buzzed.Driving buzzed is still drunk driving.

This just in from the Colkinom Laboratories case; the dead seem to have no internal organs.Wait, would they share that? There is no sign of lacerations or wounds. It is almost as if their internal organs simply vanished.I am pretty sure they wouldn’t have this posted, people would break out in chaos and fear because we don’t know how to handle being sick. This seems instant, but recordings, CCTV and a three-letter message scrawled by one of the employees may prove that it certainly wasn't painless “The message read, “Twilight: Breaking Dawn”.

I crammed a CD in You’re going to break that radio. and slammed the pedal, doing a half-ish U-Turn (an L-Turn? ) Well, I mean, half of a U-turn would be a turn in whichever direction you are going so...and went for the countryside. I drove and drove, aimlessly following roads roughly north What about gas?. I didn't stop until I ran out of gas You should have gotten gass.; where I grabbed my cases and ran. This is unneeded work, why don’t you use your head?? When I entered a field and I couldn't carry my cases anymore, I threw them in a ditch Why pack anything if you are going to be dramatic and irrational?. As long as I could run, I ran, I didn't sleep until my body dropped Are you running because you are afraid of dying? At the rate you are going, you’re going to die soon and it’s going to be just as painful as losing your organs. .

I awoke tired and groggy, my bones aching Were your organs still there?. I knew I had to run from what I knew.How can you run from what you knew if you knew you had to run? You can’t run from running, I’ve tried, it isn’t possible.  There was a virus going around Let me take a wild guess... I knew exactly what my boss had done. He had shouted the name of the disease over the loudspeakers This is one of those “if I tell you, I have to kill you” situations . Everyone who heard died. Some tried to block their ears but the words flashed on the computers, the lights blinked it in Morse code How did someone program that if they would die instantly upon looking at what to program? How was any of this possible if you read it and die, the boss should have been dead already! I am calling bullshit.. Everyone in that building was now dead. The terror they must have felt, the split-second of reality-bending agony, all the friends, the men and women I used to know I thought you were running from what you knew?.

I'm now sleeping in a hotel room I found Actually, you are awake, unless you are sleep typing.. It's far away, it's old and quaint, I think I'll be fine here. They don't have TV and I always stay away from the radio. I'll live. I know a harrowing truth Gave up on running, I guess. But I can't tell.I have five bucks in my bag that says you are going to anyway.

I have a name for the disease. It's simple. It's blunt. It does exactly-what-it-says-on-the-can. I call it...

Instant death dis Oh look, you messed up the most significant name in your story. But you know what, if that was what was read on the paper, then how come you didn’t die when you made up the name yourself? And how was this posted if  you died before typing it out??..Anyway, roll credits!

The story wasn't all that bad at all, actually, I didn't mind it. That being said, I wasn't entirely impressed with it either. But oh well, I am a bit too picky at times. I also have to admit that I really wasn't feeling this riff, I don't think my comments were altogether amusing. Oh well! What do you people think? Do you wish my organs would instanlty disappear? Do you think Dorky did a good job of choosing someone to do riffs with him? Please, enlighten me in the comments below, I am dying to find out.