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Top Ten Pastas by BanningK1979

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Today I will have the distinct pleasure of taking a look at the work of one of the wiki’s most talented writers, K. Banning Kellum. Blending dashes of creativity with a good amount of pure terror, it’s easy to see why he has become so revered in this community. He has gained popularity mostly through his Tobit series, but for the following top ten list, I thought to delve a little deeper than that. The whole point of doing this is to introduce underrated pieces of work, and so, to keep in accordance with this, I shall be primarily focusing on the individual stand alone pastas that Banning has published (Well, save for one entry from the Tobit series, it would probably be a sin otherwise, and I don’t want Hyraaq visiting me in the middle of the night to demand to know why he wasn’t on the list), from the slightly unnerving to horribly disturbing. Grab onto your hats and hold on tight… the time has come for BanningK’s top ten.

One thing before we begin though… SPOILER ALERT. IT IS HIGHLY ADVISED YOU READ THE PASTAS BEFORE TAKING A LOOK AT MY COMMENTARY.

Now… onto the list.

10)  The Demon in the Mirror Trick

Mirrors have always been horror staples, and it was certainly interesting to see Banning’s addition this particular subgenre. It is quite short, but the impact it leaves is long. I think this is one of the only pastas to genuinely creep me out a little bit for a good while, the idea that your reflection is evil and that it has the will and the way to come after you is frightening. With a final line that cements this story’s place as a superior micropasta, this is well worth the two minute reading time.

9) Of Beauties and Beasts

It is here that we can find the first place winner of CrazyWord’s Fairy Tale Contest. A new take on the multiple personality twist, this pasta follows a man, Kenneth, who is haunted by himself in the form of a mental manifestation that he refers to as “The Beast,” who stalks his love and ruins his life. Eventually, after his wife leaves him, Kenneth decides that it is finally time to get rid of the Beast once and for all… with horrifying end results. Bravo to a well deserved contest winner that perfectly exemplifies that many of the monsters we fear most are in our very own heads.

8) The Funny Foul-Up of Frantic Falcone

Before the Babadook, there was Falcone, a character in a supposed children’s book who is mercilessly tortured and hated by everyone around him, including the students he teaches and even God, for no apparent cause until he is inevitably forced to commit suicide. I think what makes this pasta so disconcerting is the fact that the book itself which the story is based around, as gruesome and cruel as it may be, was intended for children, and furthermore, some of the child characters in the book do some very terrible things. When you bring kids into a horror situation such as this one, things are definitely going to get ominous. Another thing I really enjoyed about this story was how we never found out where the book came from, which served to make things even more sinister.

7) They Hate Us and They Want us to Die

Here’s a long debated question… if our pets could talk, what would they say? Well, this pasta gives us a pretty clear answer, and it is not as pleasant as one might be led to believe. Rather, our pets hate us, and they want us to die. They can’t wait for the moment when they can have the opportunity to sink their canines into our flesh and strip the meat from our bones. What makes this pasta effective is the fact that we, as humans, love our cats and dogs. Most all of us have memories of cuddling up with a favorite animal when we were little, and the idea that our pets could be so malicious is, put lightly, pretty alarming.

6) Joe Montana Saves the Princess

What I loved so much about this pasta was the character development, I’ll say that right off the bat. The character of Brian undergoes some very noticeable changes throughout the story. That is, with the help of his older brother, who happens to be dead by the hands of a sadistic cult who needs the blood of a princess to summon the god Un. When it falls on Brian to save this Princess, he discovers that he will have to become his brother’s alter ego, Joe Montana.

5) We Called Him TaTa

Entering the top five of the list of one of the most fear inducing authors of the wikia, we have… a heartfelt and touching story that has no creepy elements in it whatsoever. This was actually Banning’s dedication to his actual grandfather, who died in Hurricane Katrina. While reading this pasta, it is completely normal to feel certain side effects, including tears streaming down your face, a deep wrench in your chest, and a strong appreciation for the great characters and overall excellence of the story.

4) Queen Justine and the Cutest Little Shing

This is the latest stand alone pasta that Banning released, and I’m glad to say I was not disappointed. The writing here is as brilliant as ever as police detective Calvin Drexler sits down and has a chat with Craig Morgan, a young man who insists that he knows who is behind a string of excruciating political murders. What follows is a tale of how the things we imagine on paper can sometimes become too real for us, as mere mortals, to handle, while Drexler himself doubts the story, he’s about to get a harsh reality check in the name of Queen Justine.

3) Love Always

There are some things that everyone can relate to, one of them being friendship, and in this pasta, we take an up close and personal look at the love that two best friends, Chase and Ryan, share for each other. However, when they are both locked away in a room with no food and hunger rolls in like a sickness, what will prevail, friendship or survival? And what is Chase’s secret? What is the thing that he is hiding from us? The “Animals” category at the bottom of the page should provide an adequate hint.

2) Secret Bar

I’ll be the first to admit, when I found out this was Banning’s first pasta, I was quite honestly shocked. This story was amazing, and the fact that this was but his first hand at writing creepypasta should definitely say something about his talent. The story centers around Kurt, a man who wants to find a secret bar where he can drink to his heart’s content. However, he soon finds out that it is wise to be careful what you wish for when he is taken to a bar in hell and served Regret, Misery, and loneliness from a menacing bartender. Complete with nasty imagery, such as a man masturbating until his penis is raw, and a woman being forced to smoke until her throat turns black, this is one great pasta that you should really take the time to read.

1)    Tobit: The Bleeding Sky

I know, I’m being incredibly predictable by placing the one Tobit pasta that I allowed onto this list as the number one spot, but truly I cannot help myself. The pasta is just way too good for me to do it the disgrace of putting it anywhere else.  This is awesome stuff; a lost journal that predates human time, a well developed journalist who is trying her hardest to get people to take her seriously, and between it all, the malevolent spirit of Hyraaq Tobit, a baleful god with the head of a goat who is fully prepared to wreck havoc on the human race at any given moment. Now I am actually kicking myself for not reading this before I made my list of the best creepypasta antagonists, as Tobit would’ve placed in the top five without question. I beg of you, if you haven’t already checked out this fantastic pasta, do it now, for the good of humanity.

 

Well, that just about does it for Banning’s list. Do tell me, whats your favorite story by our resident author and admin?

 

Who should be the next to get a top ten? Let me know in the comments below!

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