There is something funny about the fandom that worships "Jeff the Killer". What is it about their adoration that I find amusing? Is it the fact people defend a poorly written story as if it were the greatest literary gem to ever be discovered. No. Is it that people publicly announce their delusion of having a relationship with a fictional character. No. Is it that the fictional character they pine for would kill them in the blink of an eye? No. The humor I find with the "Jeff the Killer" fandom comes from the fact that they are very shallow people.

What Do You Mean Shallow?

Before I explain why I think "Jeff the Killer" fans are shallow, let's first talk about what being shallow means. Shallow means a lack of depth, such as the shallow end of the pool. From that definition came the character trait of being shallow, or having a shallow personality. This trait applies to people who only concern themselves with people whose outward appearances meets the shallow person's standards.

But How Are We Shallow?

I'm sure this is the question ringing in the minds of all the Jeff-the-Killiebers. A valid question and one I am ready to answer. Before doing so, I'd like to bring up one point.

The Connection to Jeff

What is it about Jeff that makes people admire him. I'm no psychologist/psychiatrist or anything like that, but I believe a lot of his fans experience bullying and look up to Jeff since he did what they could never do. They know what it's like being picked on, and pushed to the edge. They've had those feelings of wanting to just burn off their own eyelids and kill everyone that's in their face. They do connect with Jeff on an emotional level, because they've been where he's been. Doesn't sound shallow at all, so where do I get off saying that they are?

The Shallow End of the Fandom

Jeff the Killer

This is a photo of Jeff. In fact it's the photo of Jeff. There's four things I want you to notice about this photo:

  • Jeff is a little on the chubby side
  • Jeff wears his hair with a part on the side
  • Jeff has no nose
  • Jeff has dark circles around his eyes

This is Jeff, a chubby guy with no nose and dark circles around his eyes, who wears his hair with a part on the side. When people make pictures dedicated to this guy they connect with emotionally, one would expect that the pictures would feature the description given above.

How Jeff's Adoring Fans Want Him to Look

That's right, the people who connect emotionally to Jeff only find him attractive if he has a nose, is skinnier, adopts an emo/anime character haircut, and puts concealer on the dark circles around his eyes. That's a terrible way to be, and it's deals a major blow to young Jeffery's self-esteem.

Jeff the loner

Can Jeff borrow a feeling?

Next Week:

Join us as we discuss why the Slenderman mythology is really an allusion to Joseph Kony kidnapping children for the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda.


Terry Pratchett

This is Sloopernicus.
Until next time.