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My Fears: A Short History

Scotface August 5, 2011 User blog:Scotface

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Let it be known that I am a massive fearty and forever paranoid thanks to over-indulgence in the macabre side of life. I grew up in urban Scotland but had grandparents who lived in a rural town. They are incredibly aged, whimsical people, the kind you expect to meet on a tourist walk around a castle. My grandparents told stories of ghosts and spirits haunting the land, had a firm belief in things like kelpies and fairies and generally enjoyed creeping me out, along with my sisters and many cousins.

So I have a natural affinity for panicking at the slightest disturbance in my life. Mostly due to the expectations drawn from hearing so many ghastly tales of wandering phantoms and spirits. If I flush the toilet and the noise sounds slightly different from it's usual wishing and washing, I tend to blame it on some unseen, negative force that most likely does not exist. I'm drawn to it, though, I love horror films and frightening fiction. I like to research aspects of the paranormal and - although I don't exactly drop these into conversation with my friends - I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about just what lies beyond our perceivable reality.

I've tried to be skeptical and apply common sense to my irrational fears but sometimes the imagination can overpower the logical side of your brain. Before you know it, you're connecting unnecessary incidents to paranormal occurences and you're off on your own journey of dread. I don't just blame my childhood, I blame my overall immaturity, something I've struggled to shake off since puberty more or less ended for me. Here I sit, manning the reception desk in a hotel, at 2.40am wondering precisely what that rattling noise from the darkened corridor is. It's most likely something simple but it gives me a small shot of adrenaline whenever I hear it. I should investigate but that may involve discovering something disturbing.

I've experienced very little in the way of the open paranormal. I believe that my 4 year old nephew sees a ghost of some kind in my grandparents house, most likely my late grandfather, whom he refers to as 'the man'. He won't go upstairs without being accompanied by an adult. I once heard a strange sound in a dark, unpopulated street in Edinburgh. Every now and then, at the hotel I work at, I encounter an unusual occurence. A door suddenly opens of it's own accord (despite being locked) or a voice can be heard in the background. I bring closure to these things by attributing them to both coincidence and my overactive imagination.

But the fear remains.

We live in a physical universe maintained by, what is believed to be, roughly eleven different dimensions. Of these eleven, we can perceive only three. And yet time is believed to be a constant from the fourth dimension and physicists are trying to explain that gravity comes from the tenth. So whilst we may only be able to actively perceive (or create) within the third dimension, there bodes the question of whether or not we are affected by the others. And if so, what originates from them?

Quantum physics aside, I am a fearful and paranoid young man who should probably get out more. I hope you enjoy reading the stories that I will share with you.

Scotty.

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