I talked to my aunt(she adopted me when I was a kid so she's basically my mom but she isn't the same mom I talk about in my other blog posts... that's my biological mom) for awhile yesterday about some family drama that she thought I knew about and was just hiding from her (because it is about her two oldest kids).  My cousin is getting medically discharged from the military because of a genetic issue (that just causes pain all the time so it can be coped with) with his bones and since he's active duty he can't have the surgery that he needs to help correct it... and since they can't prescribe anything more than ibuprofen I think he's just decided that it is time to leave the military.  We were all so supportive of his decision to join the Army and were actually pretty shocked, too.  He has always been a little on the babyish side, but we figured the Army would help him out grow that.  I guess it didn't... because instead of trying to find a way to cope with his condition (and keep all his insurance and steady cash flow) he has decided to take the medical discharge.  Huge bummer.

And now it gets worse.  My other cousin has three kids.  Her oldest is 4-5 years old and lives with his father because she wasn't able to take care of all of her kids at one time on a minimum wage job.  So he's been with his dad for awhile.  And we all came to understand that.  While we didn't really support her decision to give up so easily, we (as parents) understood how hard it was for her especially considering all her kids are so close in age.  So this whole time, I was under the assumption that she still had her other two kids (fathered by another guy, obviously) but she lied to her mom about DHS having paperwork drawn up saying that the kids needed to stay with their dad.  But when my aunt contacted him, she found out the truth... that my cousin wasn't really doing what she was supposed to be doing.  He got tired of her saying she was on the way to drop off diapers, or pick up/drop off the kids when she said she'd be there so he decided that he would just keep them with him.  I don't know where my heart is with this because I have fought tooth and nail for the little bit of stability that I do have.  But this blog post isn't really about me.  The reason my aunt found out about all this is because my uncle contacted her (they're divorced) and said that my cousin (his own only biological daughter, me being the adopted one) stole her grandmother's rings from his house while she was there one day.  She denied it of course but eventually the truth came out that she or her boyfriend stole the rings, and she pawned them.  She says that her boyfriend said that he "found them" and told her they needed to pawn them because they were broke.  Sure, they were broke but who does that?  Even at my absolute worst in my life, I have never stolen from family and definitely never stolen anything that was sentimental to anyone.  But here's the kicker, the pawn shop gave her too much money for the rings (well over $100) and now if my uncle decides to press charges, she's looking at a felony charge.  He has a tough decision to make.  I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.  But back to my story: her boyfriend (who she has since broken up with, like yesterday?) contacted my uncle and told him that it was all her fault and that she has a really bad roxycodone habit.  They are both pointing the finger at the other.  My uncle told my cousin that if she came and pressed charges against her ex-boyfriend WITH him, that she wouldn't end up in any trouble.  Which is technically true.  But she won't do it.  I have to assume she's afraid of the guy.  But let me tell you, I've met the guy so unless he's super abusive behind closed doors, there's literally nothing to be afraid of.  What I think is going on here, is that one or the other stole the rings, SHE pawned them for sure since the papers are in her name, and they spent all their money on drugs.  If her habit is as bad as he made it out to be, then she needs rehab.  And I think that's the decision my uncle is trying to make.  Whether he should press charges and send her to jail, OR try to help her because obviously she needs help.  He doesn't want to have to do this to his daughter... no parent really does.  But WHO DOES THAT??? I mean, those were her grandma's rings!  And her grandma is dead.  So yeah.

I am no saint.  Not by a long shot.  I ran away at fifteen to be with a guy who ended up being the most abusive piece of shit on earth, I got knocked up, and then got knocked up twice more by two other guys.  But even at my lowest point, I can't imagine doing anything this desperate. It really rattles my soul... because in all fairness, I had no idea ANY of this was happening.  I thought she had her kids, I thought she was doing good... my food stamps got approved, I got approved for my apartment, I've been studying for my GED, my other cousin is in the military, their younger brother got his license and their other younger brother got his learner's permit... everything seemed to be going so well for everyone.  Where did it all go so wrong?