Lately, I haven't been sleeping at night. For some reason when I sleep at night, I have nightmares. So every day after I put my kids on the school bus, I lay down and I go to sleep. The day sleep is usually pretty dreamless. But my last nightmare was unnerving. I'm used to nightmares but not that much about children. Let me explain:
I woke up in the dream to a baby laying in the bed next to me, it had on nothing but a diaper. It was sweltering. The baby was bright pink from screaming. I knew the baby was mine, so I picked it (no idea what the gender was) up and took it into the bathroom and ran some water... then splashed water on it. Trying to cool it down. But it didn't work and the baby kept screaming and screaming and it got redder and redder and oh, god...
As a mother this dream scared me pretty badly. I woke up, panicked, thinking that I really did have another little baby next to me and that it was in pain... I looked around everywhere and then had this terrible feeling of loss when I remembered that I didn't have a baby. That my kids are much older. But I did get up to go check on the boys... they were fine and neither of them was hot. Actually, I think they were chilly. Both were cuddled underneath their blankets and neither had sweat on their brow, so I left them.
Part of me feels like this is like... a premonition. Like maybe I'm pregnant and just having weird dreams. But I'm not pregnant. But it still could be a premonition type feeling... because the weather is getting hotter... and we don't have A/C. Just a bunch of fans. And if I did have a baby, I'd have to be extra careful to keep him or her comfortable.
Or maybe... maybe it's time for me to go back to the doctor and see if the doctor can help me.