Let me tell you about something that happened recently. The other morning the phone rang. I answered it (even though I didn’t recognize the number) and no one could be bothered to say a word. A few minutes later it rang again. I said if it were the same bunch, I was going to chew them out. This time the caller ID read “Unavailable”. I answered it and the man on the other end greeted me with “Hi, Grandma!” Thinking it was a wrong number, I asked, “Who is this?” With an air of amusement, he replied, “What do you mean? It’s your grandson!” I told him, “I’m 32.” He asked, “Thirty-two?” with another air of amusement, like I was just being silly. At that point I was really fed up, so I told him, “Look, you have the wrong number. Have a nice day,” and hung up. This is why I normally don’t answer the phone unless I recognize the name or number. Immediately afterward I realized, “This sounds familiar.” I Googled “Grandma scams” and sure enough, I had read about this scam before. Someone calls an elderly person and claims to be a grandchild. Then the scammer goes on to say that they’re in trouble and need money (The most common version I’ve heard is they need bail money). Here are three descriptions, though you should be able to find plenty of other articles using a search engine-,, I think the guy was hoping to get my mother, but she’d never fall for that scam, so either way calling our house is a waste as far as scams like that are concerned. Tell your relatives about this scam. Tell them that if someone calls claiming to be a relative, don’t give them a name (For instance, don’t ask, “Timmy? Is that you?”), and do ask them something only the real relative would know.

It’s bad enough that this lowlife is calling random people trying to prey on seniors. It’s even worse that he responded to me giving my age with a “Ha ha, you’re such a silly girl!” tone in his voice. I know my own age and family status (since I’m not a member of Warren Jeffs’s band of monsters and victims), and your reacting with amused incredulousness isn’t going to change the fact that I’m in my early freaking thirties and I don’t have any freaking offspring/descendants! What did he think, that acting like I was just being silly would make me go, “Oh, well, I thought I was in my 30s with no offspring, but since you think that’s ridiculous, then I’m in my 70s and you’re obviously my grandson! I’ll do whatever you ask!”? Give me a break.