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  1. If I am a spirit possessing a video game, I will not drastically change everything in the game. I will subtly change certain things as to keep my existence in secret.
  2. I will not pointlessly toy with the hero. I will strike quickly, efficiently, and effectively so he doesn't have the chance to warn everyone I'm coming before death or driving to insanity.
  3. If my goal as a haunted game is to spread, I will posess a computer game and await a computer with an internet connection, rather than a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
  4. If I am allowing the character to finish the game I'm haunting, I won't send out a blood covered plushie warning them I'm coming. I'll kill them the moment the game is finished or let them think I was a hack until the opportune moment.
  5. I will not break the realistic expectations of the game. If it's pixelated, it stays pixelated.
  6. If I am a blood-thirsty murderer, I will not mutilate my face to make myself look pretty. I will opt to keep my looks as normal as possible to stay blended with the crowd.
  7. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. That way I can remain as defensible of myself as possible.
  8. I will not utter a lame catch phrase over and over again before I kill someone.
  9. I will assess the situation around me so that I can best get the job done. Because no one would realistically be able to kill a station full of police officers. This and to evade any death traps.
  10. I will not leave notes, riddles, a copy of my lame catch phrase in blood, or anything that gives away my identity. Anonymity is more important than playing games with the heroes.
  11. I will stick to a certain goal. There is no need to relentlessly kill everyone to show how evil I am.
  12. Although I will have a purpose, the hero will not know what that purpose is. Nothing tortures people like not knowing something.
  13. As previously mentioned, there is no point in just killing for the for the hell of it.
  14. That being said, I won't set up an elaborate death trap for the hero when I could just shoot him.
  15. If I'm an evil demon, I won't relentlessly torture people who enter my domain, no matter how fun it is. Especially if said person is not alone.
  16. If I'm going to make my actions big, I'm not going to do it in a way to make someone desperate enough to do anything to kill me.
  17. I won't be completely insane. I'll need to maintain my intelligence.
  18. That being said, I will rid myself of any form of empathy or sympathy so it cannot be used against me.
  19. There's no point in gloating to the person I'm about to kill about killing the person I'm about to kill.
  20. If I am a haunted game cartridge who manages to move to a computer, I will not posses his Cleverbot. I'll use facebook to ensure I can quickly infect everyone on his friends list.
  21. If a person knows that the game I'm haunting is haunted and is stupid enough to play me, I will have them make more copies of me by fooling them into thinking that will destroy me. Better yet, I'll have them upload me to Pirate Bay.
  22. If I feel like being not excessively evil, I'll posses a game with a Karma meter. That way it's justified to kill the player when they get evil karma.
  23. I will promptly make sure I have fewer fan girls than I do people afraid of me. Babes aren't important.
  24. If anyone is going to follow me around, it will be one of two people: an average two year old and the most interesting man in the world. If either one of them spot a flaw in something that makes me creepy, unnerving, or scary, it will be rectified immediately.
  25. I will find some way to ensure my own survival, even after the group of heroes gang up and attempt to destroy me.
  26. If I cannot survive, I will have a back up plan consisting of a number of mindless drones meant to carry on my plans.
  27. Finally, the farthest a story written about me will go is to the nearest trash can - unless for some reason I feel differently.
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