1. I will not play a game on a plain disk written on by black sharpie.
  2. If an application on my computer should happen to refuse to close, I will forcibly shut down the computer. If this fails, I will unplug the computer. If this fails, I will smash the computer to pieces.
  3. If a game somehow knows my name, I will shut off the game.
  4. If a game is haunted, I will proceed to destroy said game by any means necessary.
  5. If four fails or the game somehow comes back, I will not worthlessly keep trying to destroy it - I will stick it in a safety deposit box in a nearby bank.
  6. If the volume is impossible to mute/turn down and the music is deafeningly loud, I will plug in a set of broken headphones.
  7. I will not play a game someone randomly PMed to me on Steam, email, or any other type of site.
  8. I will examine game cartridges for obvious signs of tampering before I decide to play them.
  9. If it is sent to me by an anonymous sender, I will delete the message without downloading the content.
  10. I will not download a ROM from a skeezy looking site.
  11. I will not assume the game is talking to me - whether it is or not.
  12. After I have closed a haunted game successfully, I will not take a nap. If I do, I will not percieve the resulting nightmare as a message to continue the game. If the nightmares persist, I will make an appointment with a licensed psychiatrist.
  13. I will not play a computer found in a basement in a house I just moved into.
  14. If my TV/computer becomes accosted by images of gore/evil entities/other evil things even after removing the game/deleting it, I will refer to number two.
  15. If I develop an obsessive attachment to a Pok'emon game character and decide not to visit my local mental health clinic, I will not stop playing the game should it result in said character developing abandonment issues.
  16. I will not keep playing a game where pok'emon die instead of faint in battle.
  17. I will not keep playing a Pok'emon game where the sprites have been mutilated in some way.
  18. If a screen pops up that is creepy, even for a second, I will not assume it's a glitch when it obviously is not.
  19. If a person sends me a game via message or e-mail, or even just mail, telling me to destroy said game, I will proceed to destroy said game.
  20. If a game gives me an uneasy feeling, I will do the smart thing and not play it.
  21. If I desperately need to play something, I will save money and buy a normal copy from ebay, rather than downloading a ROM from an aforementioned skeezy site.
  22. If my anti-virus software reacts to me downloading any form of game, I will not shut it off. I will instead allow said software to do its job to prevent a virus, no matter how frustrating it may be.
  23. I will make sure to have the latest version of said anti-virus software.
  24. I will not go to an old man's yard sale and ask about video games. Chances are if he has one, he doesn't remember having it and it's probably haunted.
  25. If a game starts to react a different way than I remember, I will proceed to order a new copy from Amazon and throw the old one away.
  26. I will not buy a used game from Gamestop if it's not in mildly good condition. Said thing should be common sense.
  27. I will not play a game on a disc, flash drive, or cartridge that I found in the trash, on the ground, or mystically in my bedroom despite me knowing I never owned said game.
  28. If I go to aforementioned old man's garage sale and he is begging me to buy a game or trying to give it to me for free, I will take note not to return to said garage sale after I turn down the offer.
  29. If a classic childhood game shows excessive violence, I will proceed to throw said game away/delete it.
  30. If a game begins to hurt me in real life when I get hurt on the game, I will proceed to refer to number two again.
  31. Human curiosity is no excuse to shamefully get killed by a game.
  32. Thinking an obviously haunted game is simply hacked is no excuse to shamefully get killed by a game.
  33. Most importantly, I will not question said thing is just a game. Obviously it is since I happen to be playing. I will, however, take aformentioned steps.