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I will not play a game on a plain disk written on by black sharpie.
If an application on my computer should happen to refuse to close, I will forcibly shut down the computer. If this fails, I will unplug the computer. If this fails, I will smash the computer to pieces.
If a game somehow knows my name, I will shut off the game.
If a game is haunted, I will proceed to destroy said game by any means necessary.
If four fails or the game somehow comes back, I will not worthlessly keep trying to destroy it - I will stick it in a safety deposit box in a nearby bank.
If the volume is impossible to mute/turn down and the music is deafeningly loud, I will plug in a set of broken headphones.
I will not play a game someone randomly PMed to me on Steam, email, or any other type of site.
I will examine game cartridges for obvious signs of tampering before I decide to play them.
If it is sent to me by an anonymous sender, I will delete the message without downloading the content.
I will not download a ROM from a skeezy looking site.
I will not assume the game is talking to me - whether it is or not.
After I have closed a haunted game successfully, I will not take a nap. If I do, I will not percieve the resulting nightmare as a message to continue the game. If the nightmares persist, I will make an appointment with a licensed psychiatrist.
I will not play a computer found in a basement in a house I just moved into.
If my TV/computer becomes accosted by images of gore/evil entities/other evil things even after removing the game/deleting it, I will refer to number two.
If I develop an obsessive attachment to a Pok'emon game character and decide not to visit my local mental health clinic, I will not stop playing the game should it result in said character developing abandonment issues.
I will not keep playing a game where pok'emon die instead of faint in battle.
I will not keep playing a Pok'emon game where the sprites have been mutilated in some way.
If a screen pops up that is creepy, even for a second, I will not assume it's a glitch when it obviously is not.
If a person sends me a game via message or e-mail, or even just mail, telling me to destroy said game, I will proceed to destroy said game.
If a game gives me an uneasy feeling, I will do the smart thing and not play it.
If I desperately need to play something, I will save money and buy a normal copy from ebay, rather than downloading a ROM from an aforementioned skeezy site.
If my anti-virus software reacts to me downloading any form of game, I will not shut it off. I will instead allow said software to do its job to prevent a virus, no matter how frustrating it may be.
I will make sure to have the latest version of said anti-virus software.
I will not go to an old man's yard sale and ask about video games. Chances are if he has one, he doesn't remember having it and it's probably haunted.
If a game starts to react a different way than I remember, I will proceed to order a new copy from Amazon and throw the old one away.
I will not buy a used game from Gamestop if it's not in mildly good condition. Said thing should be common sense.
I will not play a game on a disc, flash drive, or cartridge that I found in the trash, on the ground, or mystically in my bedroom despite me knowing I never owned said game.
If I go to aforementioned old man's garage sale and he is begging me to buy a game or trying to give it to me for free, I will take note not to return to said garage sale after I turn down the offer.
If a classic childhood game shows excessive violence, I will proceed to throw said game away/delete it.
If a game begins to hurt me in real life when I get hurt on the game, I will proceed to refer to number two again.
Human curiosity is no excuse to shamefully get killed by a game.
Thinking an obviously haunted game is simply hacked is no excuse to shamefully get killed by a game.
Most importantly, I will not question said thing is just a game. Obviously it is since I happen to be playing. I will, however, take aformentioned steps.