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Need Some Story Advice

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I would like some advice on this newest Creepypasta of mine. It uses a scene from one of my older workers--The Visitor From Curtisville. My main concern about this is whether what I have already is enough for the viewer to be intrigued or do I need to add little more to it? I'm just afraid if I add a little more to it, there will be too much going on and it would off into a tangent and get bogged down in the weeds.

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