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how can i love him anymore?

Mei enya January 4, 2015 User blog:Mei enya

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Hey guys,so imma gonna post this tho u probably won't care but I don't blame u XD just need to get if off my chest.


Ever since I can remember I never did have a good relationship with my dad. He was always strict,yelled,and fairly abusive. I didn't know at the time but he had been drinking...I was to young and native to know. Every day after school he'd disappear to drink but I never suspected it. He and my mom would argue alot as well. This all continued till I was 11. One day he suddenly passed out in the yard. I didn't know what had happened. I thought he was sick. Minutes later my mom came home. The next events were a blurr ,but I know he ended up in a rehabilitation center and my mom told me evrey thing. How he was a bad drinker and how she tried to get him to stop. I was mad I was never told this before but somewat excited. I realized he'd be nice and just a better dad in general when he came back. When he got back three weeks later I didn't know what to expect. But to my joy he was in fact nice and fatherly. I felt like I finally had a dad. He never yelled or abused. He did start favouring my brother Jeremy  alot but that was okay. He lived in a rental in town,but I came to realize my mom divorced him.This disappointed me...Things continued smoothly tho . when I was almost 12 things began to change. He became drunk again. Always at night. Never abusive...just drunk. Me and my brothers came to realize this,but never told anyone including each other. One night a week before Christmas it happened again. He passed out. While he was grilling with his favoured son Jeremy. Jeremy suddenly came in with tears and told me wat happened. We got a hold of my mom and she picked us up. She was really pissed at my dad. We stayed at a friends house for a couple days till we got the news he was in rehabilitation again. On Christmas eve we confronted him and he apologized greatly. We hesitantly forgave him. Things continued alright till once again it went down hill like they did. I'm thirteen now and like last year,Before this Christmas my dad got really drunk,but didn't pass out. When he fell asleep my brothers called my mom. I didn't know anything had happened cause I had my head phones in. I was surprised when Jeremy came in my room and told me we were leaving at almost midnight. I packed and left. My mom ,her bf ,and some cops where waiting to take us home. It wasn't to dramatic tho.When we got home we made chicken margarita watched robot chicken,and went to sleep. We confronted him the day before Christmas eve once again. He denied drinking. All of it. I was pissed and I hated him. My mom had to leave to go to hawaii not to long ago. I stayed at a friends house till 2 nights ago when I had to spend the rest of the time with my dad. The first time I spent the night at his house since the robot chicken,chicken margarita drinking innocent was a night ago. It was pretty bad. He acted pretty drunk and my brothers confronted him about it. Earlier today...was even worse. He got drunk at only 3 in the afternoon and then tonight...me and my brothers fled to my moms house and locked everything we planned everything out for school this Monday carefully,since my mom wouldn't be home. My mom agreed with the plan over the phone. Then at around 9 my dad came knocking and pounding at the door. He opened the garbage but couldn't get in from there. He yelled for us till finally we came out of hiding. He said stuff like "WHAT WERE U THINKING?, HOLEY COW" we told him we knew he was drinking and drunk at the moment. He denied everything. He told us to get in the car. He yelled at us till we did. When we got to his house Jeremy yelled at him for a while. After all,we are practically captives in his house right now...but about half an hour ago an officer came knocking and began to question my dad about drinking. I suspect my mom called him from hawaiii. Obviously my shitty old man denied EVERYTHING and the officer left. Idk wats gonna happen now... Any advice?

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