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Life's mysteries

GreyOwl October 5, 2014 User blog:GreyOwl

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So, because this is a site packed full of creative minds, I figured this was the place for me to go with this frustrating question. Before I ask, I want to provide everyone with a bit of background info pertaining to my life (at least the educational aspects). Well, I became one of the countless people within this world that obtained a degree in a subject solely for the monetary benefit/approval of my family. From early on, I was sort of sheltered from the world and everyone in my family had these extremely high expectations of me that I met quite easily, but sacrificed my own personal dreams and desires to fulfill. I graduated highschool early with honors, received valedictorian bragging rights (boring, I know), and I obtained the pharmacy degree my mother so valently desired from me. Thing is, it's not something I wake up proud of. I even turned down a job because I knew I would be miserable should I proceed with it. I told my family of this desire to go back to college, and I currently have been studying neonatal nursing. Of course, I thought nursing would quench my unsatiable desires but it didn't work out that way. I'm a very indecisive person. I mean, I'm extremely indecisive. A week or two ago, this suppressed idea popped into my head yet again, and I have yet to calm it down. As I had when I was in highschool, I want to get into film production. The only problem with this is the fact that I feel it's too risky. My uncertainty keeps telling me I shouldn't risk it. I have this insane fear of having to go back and live with my parents at 30 because I decided to get into something that I feel has no real market. Even though I am a mere 21, I worry all the time about my future. I know for a fact this is something I would love doing, eventually I would love to travel abroad, possibly produce my own anthology series/horror movie of some sort and really get down in dirty in the subject I feel comes natural. Am I crazy or am I crazy? Am I wrong about film production's outlook being dim for newcomers? Sensing my family is not very supportive of my creative half and most of the time look down upon it in comparison to my intellectual half, I want to hear from the people of this wiki, who could offer some peace of mind to this worry wart.

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