No You didn't read that title wrong.

At least, I'm pretty, mostly sure you didn't read that title wrong. Unless you did, in which case I could refresh you real fast: Introductory Post.

...Did you get it that time? Maybe look it up on google and see how that works out.

So wow it's me! Anyone who's never heard of me is like "oh hey a new member" and anyone who has is probably just confused as to why I'm bothering writing an "Introductory Post" after being a semi-active member for like 2 an 1/4 years-ish idk I dont really want to do do any math.

Well, put simply, my introductory post is terrible! (You can read it here if you have a personal vendetta against me) and I'd like a second chance. I get the impression that my personality doesn't shine through that much in what I say on a normal basis, so it'd be nice to just write out who I am, how I am, and what I'm doing. Let me just pour out my life onto creepypasta.

My name is most likely, as far as you can ever be sure, "Ethan" though I also go by "Peter," and "Kelvin" on occasion. I am a writer, and an artist. I've drawn a lot of cartoon type stuff, and although I've never made an online portfolio of any kind I've been drawing for years, mostly various comic book and graphic novels. I usually write out original stories although I've also written fan adaptations of the stories from games like "Atari Adventure" and "The Ultimate Doom." My personal favorite types of stories to actually read are ones that take themselves seriously enough to have stakes but not enough to be above any dumb goofy jokes, so those are the stories I tell. H

My style of humor is sort of all over the place. I have a deep affinity for unironic over the top positivity even maybe in contexts that don't merit it, weird and bad editing from advertisements or television shows, the dumb sort of in your face style of terrible 80's films, absolutely awful childrens movies like BBC's 3 hour miniseries "The Sand Fairy" and Beau Bridges in "The Voyage of the Unicorn."

I also have a strange fondness of "quaint" dialogue, which is maybe not the best word to describe it. Just describing something in mild passive terms like "Oh well, that sure isn't my idea of a sunny day" but spoken in a bright chipper voice, over emphasized and outspoken for how little of a point there actually is.

"Oh golly gee wilikers aunt maya you sure are swell as a peach" "Oh, ho! And plump as one too!!" 

A lot of my jokes include cheering for people without any context, especially if they aren't really doing anything all that exciting. Or, telling intentionally awful puns. The kind of pun that isn't just a "bad pun" but literally starts falling apart the longer you try to make it work, an elaborated trainwreck of a pun in a sense. Same goes for nonesense conspiracy theories justified with "I've never seen them both in the same room, have you" and at some point puncuated with "Questions! Worthy of answers!!" which I invision being an utterly useless segment of a tabloid-esque news broadcast where they ask a string of conspiracy-tinged questions and what-ifs. Instead of actually answering any questions with their own theories though, a narrator just says "QUESTIONS, WORTHY OF ANSWERS" in a booming voice.

Despite my kind of weird optimistic viewpoint and style of humor I find myself gravitated towards horror and morbid things. I have a deep admiration for horror, or just spooky things. As cheesy as the word "spooky" has become I think I still have an admiration to the kind of campfire horror vibe with strange chilling mysteries told in the form of a ghost story....which isn't exactly a horror type deal but an interesting spooky vibe. My favorite kind of horror is existential, weird, unexplained horror. Stuff like, "What if I'm made of some other animal's meat? " or "Holy what though everybody in my family is a horse today! How'd that happen!"-followed by them never addressing it the day after. Twilight Zone type of stuff.

And it's scary to me because it either doesn't have a conflict at all,(oooh scary, but maybe it does have a conflict that hasn't presented itself directly)....or it does have a conflict but the conflict is unclear. If a cop stumbles onto a case where there's a  a half dead person-dead animal corpse than the conflict isn't really spelled out exactly. It might be a murderer, but maybe the narrator's crazy, or maybe it's a strange supernatural force. There clearly is a conflict somewhere but how does a cop get rid of that conflict when it's just dead animals grafted onto people popping up left and right? Weird and creepy. I tried to channel weird and creepy in my latest pasta "Reflect" but I'm not sure how well that worked out. I think it's pretty's a weird creative exercise to make a story that has lore and has explanations and then intentionally leave the reader completely in the dark. But idk maybe I could have explained a little more, that's a bit hard to figure out.

As much as I love reading horror, I have a hard time writing it very well. My personal favorite pastas I've written are "Error, " "Fancy Meeting You Here " and "Reflect"

Random tidbit about myself. I don't have a ton of phobias but I find myself grappling with the concept of "existing" a lot. I mean, this universe actually exists, it functions because a group and style of elements and atoms with positve and negative charges that exist also in real life and this is real life by the way. That kind of thing, all this stuff is real, human brains have neurons and they fire neurotransmitters across synapses into the dendrites of other neurons which carry them into the neuron proper and that's how brains work that's how our brain works that's how my brain works. That sort of idea and concept is hard for me to fully come to terms with, I think some people grapple with reality via the assumption that it's all that way because it's intentional and that's where religion comes in. But that kind of adds to the stress like, not only is all this stuff here but there's eternity and God and all this other stuff too???

That's me, the long and short of it. I mean the long of it, my original intro post was the short of it. I hope this wasn't a waste of your time, but I hope at least some of that felt relatable to someone. Happy new year! 2017 hooray-ish