Some days I have no idea what I should rant about. It might be a slow news day in the world of comics and nerdiness, or maybe I just have nothing to say. Rather than forcing myself to rant about things I really don't have any passion for, today I decided to post some random thoughts and jokes I have. Now, you might ask why I should post at all. To be honest, I'd like to think I have people who like my work, and I want to deliver content to those people. Also, I like posting stuff. Anyway, enough with the intro, let's go read some random thoughts.
1) Why does there need to be a 50 Shades of Grey movie? Don't we already have BDSM porn? Also, how would one go about doing a 50 Shades of Grey porn parody?
2) You can't be stupid when you're dead. So, let's kill Sarah Palin (note: if you kill Sarah Palin because of this, I refuse to be held responsible)
3) Why has no one commented on those Cinammon Toast Crunch commercials? They glorify cannibalism! How fucked up is that? Sure, it might be cereal cannibalism (note: serial cannibalism and cereal cannibalism are different things), but it's still cannibalism. It's almost as messed up as those poptarts commercials.
4) You know those anti-vaxxers whose stupidity brought back measles? Well, I have an idea: they don't have to have vaccines, but anyone infected by any disease brought by the the anti-vaxxers has to have their medical coverage paid by the anti-vaxxers. And if someone dies from that disease, the anti-vaxxers have to go to that person's funeral, and say, "This person is dead because I am a moron."
5) So, according to "Slender Man Vs. Eyeless Jack" -shudders- Eyeless Jack is basically a vengeful spirit who wants to kill the person who murdered him. So he goes about that by stealing the kidneys of random people? Also, how can he have a solid form if he's a spirit? I really think the author should've thought these things through. And the people who liked it, I have one question: Can you read? Because even if you know nothing about those characters, you should ask, at the very least, "Why did Slender Man and Eyeless Jack switch bodies?" Yeah, the biggest plot point of that story makes no sense whatsoever and isn't explained in the least. That is something someone should have said. (I really hate that story)
6) Why is there a second Hot Tub Time Machine movie? It didn't need a sequel; it was good on its own. From what I've seen from the trailers, it doesn't look very good. And, again, why do a sequel? Aren't there more stories that deserve a sequel that haven't gotten one?
7) If you lose your train of thought, would you say your train of thought crashed?
8) Can we just realize how fucked up ISIS is? If Al Qaeda says that you're a bit too extreme, you might have some issues. And keep in mind, Al Qaeda is the same organization that decided to remove a couple of landmarks from the New York skyline, among other things.
9) I should move to Canada. Think about it: no one hates Canada. You always hear people saying, "Death to America!" and stuff, but never anything about Canada. Everyone loves Canada.
10) Would Slender Man be the real Slim Shady? He's slim, and he's, as a being, pretty shady (he's in pictures taken next to playgrounds. That's pretty shady). So, yeah. Move over, Eminem. Slender Man is the real Slim Shady. Also, he's always standing up.
Yeah, I'm going to stop here before I offend more people. What do you all think? Do I have funny thoughts? Do you agree with them? Should I keep my thoughts to myself? Let me know in the comments below.