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Dear Sony

Dorkpool December 11, 2014 User blog:Dorkpool

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Dear Sony,

Fuck. You. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Now, you might be wondering why I'm telling you this? Well, if you've been following my little blog, you know my feelings about what you should do with Spider-Man: work with Marvel Studios to make him part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I have said that multiple times. So when I heard that there were actually talks to do that, I was overjoyed.

But then I heard that the talks "broke down", and that your plans were to make an animated Spider-Man comedy movie. And while it might be good, it probably won't be as awesome as Spider-Man in the Avengers.

So, I'm here to tell you why you should make Spider-Man part of the movie Avengers, and why an animated Spider-Man comedy movie is a bad idea.

First, Marvel Studios' superhero movies are extremely popular, and have gotten to a point where they can almost do no wrong (Iron Man 3 nonwithstanding). When their Phase 3 plans were announced, everyone had a collective nerdgasm. Meanwhile, DC announced its plans, also creating a huge nerdgasm, and Fox said they're doing a Deadpool movie, eliciting a "Finally!" from everyone. Meanwhile, you guys got Sinister Six...maybe. That's it. While these other studios are creating a helluva lot of hype and excitement with their plans, you have almost nothing.

Second, you guys are starting to lose money. A billion dollars last year, right? I'm pretty sure The Amazing Spider-Man 2 didn't help matters very much, since it made the lowest amount of money of all the Spider-Man movies. Meanwhile, Marvel Studios broke movie records with a team characters most people didn't even know existed. And you did badly with a character everyone knows. You're playing a game of follow the leader, and you're losing.

Third, Marvel Studios knows what it's doing. It has a plan, and an exciting plan at that. YOU. DON'T. You're just throwing stuff at the wall, and trying to see what sticks (and since it's Spider-Man, you figured it would). So please, just let Marvel Studios add Spider-Man to their roster of characters. Make a deal where you get some control of the character and make a lot of money, but please, for love of all that is good and decent, LET MARVEL GET SPIDER-MAN.

And if you don't, FUCK YOU.

Sincerely,

Dorkpool

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