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Dear Marvel

Dorkpool December 16, 2014 User blog:Dorkpool

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Dear Marvel,

I've bitched out Sony already. Twice. And you might be thinking that you're immune from my nerdy criticism. But you are not. I have a thing or two to say to you.

Now, like my two letter to Sony, this is all in regards to whatever's going to happen to the Spider-Man movies. You want to make a Spider-Man movie and make him part of the Avengers, and Sony is planning another reboot with an adult Spider-Man, possibly an adaptation of "Kraven's Last Hunt" or an animated comedy film based on the character. And, I will admit, Spider-Man as part of the movie Avengers would be awesome. Who doesn't want to see Spidey and Iron Man trade snarky comments? But it's some of your plans that I've read about I need to discuss.

First, introducing Spider-Man without an origin story first is a unique way to go about things, especially since we got an origin movie about two years ago. The idea of another teenage Spidey movie is not. I'm not saying don't go that route; Spider-Man is most well known as a teen, or at least a young single person who's not married (the comics didn't even stick with the marriage; DAMN YOU, "ONE MORE DAY!" Just so you know, I'm waving my fist in the air right now), so that's not a terrible idea. Neither is drawing inspiration from Spider-Man 2, long considered to be the best Spider-Man movie (because it is. Duh). You want to get to the character's roots, and I respect that.

However, you do plan to take away the romance aspect of the character, which I'm kind of divided over. On the one hand, romance has been way overplayed in the movies (especially in The Amazing Spider-Man movies), so it might be a welcome change of pace. On the other hand, if you want to have a teenage Spider-Man, there should be some romance/love aspect to it. Teenagers hormones are going nuts at this time, and teenage boys are discovering 1) their good buddy Mr. Johnson and 2) girls are pretty great. I'm pretty sure romance has to be somewhat of a thing in a Spider-Man movie.

Now, I've also heard that your villain shortlist is Shocker or Mysterio. Those choices are...interesting, since they're not exactly the most well-known villains. Of course, Spider-Man's well known villains have already been adapted onto the screen, so not having them again makes (spider) sense. You also supposedly only want one villain for the movie, which I am fully on board with. While there have been a couple of good superhero movies with multiple villains (The Dark Knight, Superman 2), there have been a lot more bad ones (Batman Forever, Batman and Robin *shudders*, Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, need I go on?). So, kudos for that. And having a Vincent D'Onofrio Kingpin cameo from the upcoming Daredevil Netflix series isn't a bad idea either, since Kingpin was originally a Spider-Man villain.

Anyway, to end this ramble, you have a lot of good ideas, and a sketchy one or two, but I have faith in you. So you better not fuck this up. I bitched out Sony twice on your account, so, if you do a Spider-Man movie, you better not screw it up. Or else, as I've said to Sony multiple times:

FUCK YOU.

Sincerely,

Dorkpool

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