Yep. A ship story. Considering it's Valentine's Day, I felt it was appropriate. Actually, there's something that surprised me when I was looking for a shipping story: they were a pain in the ass to find. It took me a while before I found this one (I found it on deviantart, in case anyone was curious). But, I found a shipping story, and anyone who has followed this blog for a while knows I'm not a big fan of Creepypasta based ships. Well, let's take a deep breath, get out our vomit bags, and Riff this.
Clocky POV "TOBY!!" I yelled, listening to the sound of loud thuds from the stairs. Toby pushed Masky’s and Hoody’s bodies down the stairs. He would be the alpha proxy. there, a boy my age wearing a hoodie with goggles in his brown hair and a mouth piece quickly run down. Yep, that's my partner, toby all right. “Yep, that’s totally him. Definitely. Have I mentioned he and I are partners?” I watched as he twitched while grabbing his hatchets.
Start of Flashback Oh. Fun.
Me and toby have been partners since day one, which was the first day both of us arrived to the slender mansion as proxies. NOPE. FUCK THIS. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. FUCK THE SLENDER MANSION. Er, sorry, I’m just not a big fan of the whole Slender Mansion thing. That day, I was still trying to comprehend what had happen at my house, realizing what I had done. Murder your family in a psychotically gory and over the top manner? After running away from my horrible crime, I was met with the tall man I know as Slenderman. Why does this feel like the dream of those girls who stabbed their friend for Slender Man? He had told me that it was no longer safe out in the open, and that his brother, Splendorman, would escort me to shelter. I assume Splendor Man did it happily. Before I left, he asked that I work for him as his proxy, which I gladly accepted. I don’t think Slender Man asks people to be his proxies. I think he just forces them into it. Walking into the forest, we had arrive to what seem to be a old and medieval. I really have no idea what that sentence was supposed to mean. I walked in and was greeted with a confusing sight. Charlie Sheen acting sane? I saw a boy about my age, twitching violently and soaking wet. Apparently being a proxy got him wet. I sat next to him and gave him a welcoming smile, Wait, is that smile carved into your face? I forget. After a point, one Jeff OC blends into another, you know?
"Hi, what's your name?" I asked. “You'll find out when you're screaming it tonight.” he turn toward me, his heading shaking and shaking. I think his heading might be shaking, whatever that means. Oh, the writer meant head. Ohhhhh. He sighed before answering, "T-toby, but-t t-they call-l me t-ticci t-toby..." I giggled, as his stuttering was adorable. Awwww, Toby has a speech impediment. How darling. I held out my hand, as if to greet him. He shook back, sort of smiling. I coughed before introducing myself “and got germs all over him. Oops.”,
"My name is Natalie..... oh, by the way, don't worry about my eye," I pointed to the eye socket that now held a small clock, Eye don’t see why you have a clock for an eye. Get it? Eye, I? Yeah, I’ll stop." I did that to myself. "I’m not very bright."" I watched as he studied it, even getting up close to examine it more. He then leaned back, before saying, “That really has to obstruct your vision. Why in the world did you think doing that was a good idea?”
"I think its cool..." I smiled, as I was happy someone appreciated it. I really don’t. It’s kind of stupid. However, our attention was shifted when Slenderman came into the room with Splendorman, chuckling before announcing, “You’re both going to die now.” "Well, Looks like you too have already acquainted yourselves with each other. Please don’t encourage this, Slender Man. You two will be partners as proxies. Both of you are killers, so you cannot return to your old lives. I’m pretty sure they killed their families, which makes it kind of hard to go back to their old lives. I'll let you settle in, but umm, miss Natalie, you must change your name. Do you have one in mind?" “Mary Sue works.”
I thought deeply about it, before coming up with a brilliant one. "Clockwork....." Wait, didn’t she already come up with that name in her story? Also, it's not a brilliant name. Dorkpool, though, that's a brilliant name, if I don't say so myself.
End of Flashback Thank god
Ever since then, we been good friends and have been fulfilling the role of proxies. That’s nice. We hone our skills into perfection, were it was impossible to stop us. Do you want to test that? But, recently, I realized something. “I’m pregnant.” I was falling madly in love with Toby. Uggggggggggggghhhhh. Just the little things would make me get butterflies in my stomach. True, I had a boyfriend before, but this was different. Well, yeah. Toby’s a murderer with a twitch. Your old boyfriend got spooked away by Rob Liefeld-esque artwork.
I snapped out of it, realizing Toby was calling my name.
"Clocky!!! Clocky?" he said, staring me straight in my face. I blushed a bit before stepping back and answering, "Sorry, Twitchy."
"Sorry, zoned out. Anyway, boss says we have a few campers near the park that need to be taken care of... Lets get going! "Let’s kill those campers and get their pic-a-nic baskets!"" I said, heading to the door, Toby close behind. I had a strange feeling that something wonderful was going to happen... Please don’t be sex please don’t be sex please don’t be sex…
Ok, I'll admit, it wasn't that bad. Was it good? No. But it wasn't horrible. In fact, it was kind of cute. I still don't approve of Creepypasta shipping, but I will say this story wasn't the worst thing I've ever Riffed. But still, Creepypasta shipping is really kind of stupid. However, it does make for a good Valentine's Day Riff. Happy Valentine's Day, folks. Enjoy it with your significant other, your right hand, or whatever.
eNJOY YOURS, DORKPOOL. IT SHALL BE YOUR LAST.
Dude, just...just stop with this. It's kind of annoying.