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Creepypasta Riffs: The Poem of Slashy

Dorkpool March 27, 2015 User blog:Dorkpool

I'd like to think I know a thing or two about how to write a poem. Why? Because I've written one for the Wiki. It's called "Amara", and you can find it here: [1]. Why am I bringing this up? Because I'm going to Riff a poem. And before you get your hopes up, keep in mind it's from the Creepypasta Land Wiki. Yippee. So, let's not clean our hooks, and Riff this bitch.

When you see him run.

(Narrator): When you hear him, jog lightly away.

When he sees you hide.

(Narrator): When he smells you, put on some damn deodorant.

When he gets you, you are doomed. When he raises his hook you are dead.

And on their car was…a hook!

He sowed his eyes closed. Because he is

(Narrator): …kind of a moron.

insane.He carries a hook to kill his victims. Because he is Slashy.

He was put in the SCP foundation. But he then escaped.

(Narrator): Because the SCP Foundation guards are kind of incompetent.

He slaughtered a lot of girls in a sleepover. He cut them up and danced in their blood.

(Narrator): Slashy’s weird like that.

Beware of Slashy. Beware his appearance.

(Narrator): Because he’s ugly as hell.

Beware his steps. Beware his thirst for death. Beware his bloody hook.

Dude, clean that damn hook. Just because you’re a murderer doesn’t mean you don’t have to have proper hygiene.


Well, this poem sucks. Like I said, I've written a poem, so I kind of know how one works (though I'm not going to pretend I'm some poetic genius who knows everything and everything about poetry because, well, I'm not). I can tell you that this one does not work. It doesn't rhyme and it doesn't have rhythm. Now, some poems can get away this, provided it's written well and has some deeper meaning or interesting story. This poem doesn't have any of those. It does have annoying repetition and spelling errors though. So, all in all, this poem sucks.

So, what do you guys think? Was the poem good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Slashy would kill me? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

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