I like Spider-Man. And by 'like', I mean 'psychotically obsessed with.' So when I was looking up more Creepypastas to Riff, I came across one called "The Forgotten Spider-Man" which, like "Superman: No More Heroes", was also on the Wiki. I'm kind of surprised. I figured that stories like those were a banned topic or something. Shows what I know. Anyway, let's feel guilty about everything and Riff this bitch.

I always loved comics. Especially superhero comics. Like a lot of people, I grew up reading Superman, Batman, Captain America, all that good stuff. Wait, a lot of people grew up reading comics? I want to meet these people. But my absolute favorite was Spider-Man. You and me both. So it's no surprise that I grew up to work at a comic book store. But that's not important. You want to know about the story. Actually, I want to know about who the real Slim Shady is. That question has been bothering me for a while.

Well, one day after work, I stopped off at this little run-down toy store. The guy that ran the place looked about nonchalantly, almost as if I wasn't there. I looked around, there were a few nice collectibles on the shelves. But what really caught my eye was a strange action figure. A Turboman action figure! Oh, crap, run away, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s coming! It was a Spider-Man action figure, but unlike any I'd ever seen: “For one thing, he was dressed as a stripper.” It was all red, its webbing patterns were disorganized, the spider was crooked and looked like a real spider. Also, the lenses appeared to be broken. There were small painted-in cracks in the mask lenses. That unnerved me a bit, but I still thought it was cool. It sounds cool. I’d like to see it. Hey, there’s a picture of it in the pasta!…and I can’t see a damn thing. I bought it for a mere 50 cents. And a comic book was given to me for free. That comic was BloodDeath #1.45423

"Comes with the figure," the store owner said, the only thing I ever heard him say while I was there. What ever happened to this guy? Does he reappear later? Does he have a life outside of his shop? There's so much you could get from this guy. I bet there are hundreds of stories we could write based off of him!" I left and brought it home to my apartment. I set the toy on a shelf with the rest of my personal collection. Yes, I'm a nerd. I feel an odd connection to this guy. Get over it. You're here for the story, right? No, I’m here to make bad jokes.

Anyways, I took the comic out of the bag and actually looked at it. It was creepy, to say the least. Please tell me it didn’t say, “Spider-Man: Are You Happy Now?” on it. It looked like an homage to Amazing Fantasy issue 15, Spider-Man's first appearance. The title read "The Forgotten Spider-Man, issue 0". So it’s from the 90s? It looked like the action figure, but the person he was holding looked limp, his head at an unnatural angle, his eyes closed. It didn't say who wrote or illustrated it. No Comics Code Authority symbol. Not even a Marvel logo. Well, someone’s getting sued.

It started with Peter Parker, as per expectation, attending the radioactivity demonstration. I usually don’t expect many Spider-Man comics to start out that way. Hell, Amazing Fantasy #15 didn’t even start out that way. I began to feel nostalgic as my eyes scanned the panels. The spider was caught in the radioactive energy, it landed on Peter's hand, and it bit him. That was normal. Only in comics is that normal. But then I noticed something weird. More like frightening. Thunderbolts and lightning? Instead of just a bite, blood poured from the wound. It covered Peter's arm. I don’t think spider bites work like that. He was screaming, begging for help as the others looked on in horror. His body became covered in red, reminiscent of the Carnage symbiote, and strange black cords ripped from his wrists and ankles, wrapping into the disorganized web pattern that I had seen on the toy. Even for a comic, this is pushing it logic wise. The spider that bit Peter crawled onto his chest and became a part of his body. That actually makes some sense comparatively, and sounds like a cool visual. A scientist reached out to Peter. But Peter lashed out and attacked him, strangling the others with black webbing in a mindless rampage. Suddenly I forgot that I was a 25-year-old man and I, like a frightened child, whispered:

"Sp... Spider-Man...?"

I continued reading. Spider-Man, if I could call him that, I would say “Spidercide”, but that character already exists. started brutally murdering people; the blood on the page was such a deep shade of red I almost thought that it was inked with real blood. I had to put it down, I was getting sick to my stomach. Then something caught my eye. "Something caught my eye, and tried ripping it out. But I fought it off. You won't take my eyes this day!" I turned to see: sitting on top of my fridge was the toy. It was crouched in the trademark Spider-Man pose. It was freaky. I had put it on my shelf, standing straight up. The cracked lenses looked at me. And not just positioned in my direction, it was literally looking at me. I don't know how, but somehow I knew it wanted me to keep reading the comic. DO AS THE ACTION FIGURE COMMANDS. THE ACTION FIGURE IS YOUR GOD NOW. KNEEL BEFORE THE ACTION FIGURE! So, I picked it up and opened it again.

Spider-Man was still killing. But what I saw only made it worse. He was making his way to his home, ripping off Mary Jane's head and beating people with her spine along the way. What kind of alternate universe is this? In the 616 continuity (normal Marvel timeline), Peter met Mary Jane in Amazing Spider-Man #42. Now, some could say that technically, Mary Jane was at her aunt’s house the day Peter went after his uncle’s killer, but, according to Amazing Fantasy #15, that was a few weeks later. Eh, whatever. I need a life. I was getting horrified, and then, in a full splash panel, he had reached his house. He killed his Uncle Ben first, blind with rage, and then ripped his arm off, beating Aunt May to death with it. “THIS IS FOR THOSE WHEAT CAKES! I HATE WHEAT CAKES!” I was getting sick again. I could've sworn I heard laughing in the back of my mind. It was the end of the issue. I saw a preview for the next one, which showed Spider-Man holding what looked to be Otto Octavius by the throat. “That’s what you get for mind switching with me, you bastard!” I was grateful that the issue was over, but mortified by its contents. I turned to look at the Spider-Man toy. It was gone. Then I felt the issue slip away. In a fraction of a second, the toy was gone, taking the comic with it. I sighed with relief, until a voice spoke in mind, in a cruel, mocking tone:

"Till next time, true believers." By god, Stan Lee can speak into our minds! STAN LEE IS OUR GOD NOW!

It's been a month since this happened. I had learned that an artist, who had attempted to submit his work, a full horror-themed Spider-Man comic book to Marvel Comics, had died of overexhaustion, never eating or drinking, only working till his body just gave out. That’s what he gets for being a dumbass. I learned this after searching up The Forgotten Spider-Man on the internet, an article about the artist being the only thing I could find. There was an image of the artist's desk included in the article, showing an unfinished cover of the comic book I had read. I was still traumatized by the events of that day, but I couldn't help feeling bad for this artist, as all he wanted was someone to appreciate his work. So he worked himself to death to do that? You didn’t have to do that, man.

Now I suppose that I'm that person. Because I got this in my mail today, sent in an envelope with no return address.

It was The Forgotten Spider-Man issue 1. Oh, first issue! Take good care of it, because those are going to be really valuable in a few years!

This pasta is actually pretty good. And I'm not just saying that because it's about Spider-Man. That being said, the Spider-Man part is what makes it scary to me. It's the whole idea of the fourth wall not being a barrier between you and whatever fictional horror lies behind it. The reason this story did that for me was because of all the Spider-Man stuff I have. And even outside of that, this story isn't bad. It doesn't have terrible spelling and grammar, and despite some stupid ideas (really, a guy worked himself to death? Come on. As someone who draws and writes, I can tell you that when you draw, you want to take a break after a bit. Some might say that the Spider-Man figure coming to life is stupid, but I'd like to think that maybe it's haunted by the spirit of the writer/artist, which clears up that plot hole. Not quite sure where the Forgotten Spider-Man #1 came from, but it works.) it still manages to be pretty good. So kudos. It's not very often that I get actual Creepypastas that are creepy. Though this story does leave me with one question: Is this Spider-Man killed by Morlun and his family during Spider-Verse?

Anyway, what do you think? Was this pasta good? Bad? Do you wish I would be brutally murdered by a fictional character I'm a big fan of? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And if you'll excuse me, I've got some Spider-Man figures to burn...