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Remember that poem I Riffed about a guy named Slashy? Well, there are stories about this character. Even better, it's written by the same guy who brought us "The Build-A-Bear Workshop Massacer". Yay.
By the way, before we actually start the Riff, there's something I have to comment on: the title. It's called "Slashy AKA Slaugterfeast" and, like "The Build-A-Bear Workshop Massacer", it's misspelled. You know, if there's any part of your story you want to make sure doesn't have any typos, it's the title. That's the first thing the reader sees, and if it's misspelled, the reader will think, "Gee, this is crap," and not read your story. Then again, considering what we're about to read, that's not a bad message to send. So, let's misrepresent the SCP Foundation, and Riff this bitch!
I was over a sleep over with my friends,
Wow, we got a grammatical error in the first sentence. That was quick.
and we were watching Disney channel until the Emergency. Alert. System. interrupted the show
Kind of like how those periods interrupted the phrase “Emergency Alert System”.
so one of my friends then raised the volume so that we could all hear and it said," A insane psychopath had escaped the SCP foundation, he caries a hook as his weapon, so lock all your doors and windows and don't go outside and be carful.
(Emergency Alert System): Remember, be carful, not careful.
And if you see this person (shows picture on screen) please contact your local number, the police, SCP foundation, FBI, or the CIA, for this person is extremely dangerous and he will kill you."
Yes, because it’s rather simple to contact the CIA or SCP Foundation. Also, isn’t the SCP Foundation supposed to be secretive?
Me and my friends started to lock all the doors and windows. I then heard a thump upstairs I warned the girls, they started to panic some said that it could of have been that something had fallen, and others said that it could of have been the psychopath.
(Narrator): None of them knew the truth. It was a ghost.
So one of the girls named Lucy
Do I make a “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” joke or an “I Love Lucy” joke? Oh, decisions, decisions.
said that she would check and started to go up the stairs she entered the room were the noise was. It was a long time since she entered the room so me and the girls decided to enter the room and we all screamed for Lucy whole body was violently mutilated.
The real reason “I Love Lucy” was cancelled.
Blood was splattered all over the room her guts were ripped out she hade a smiley face carved onto her face her teeth were bashed up and her thong was cut off.
Narrator, why were you looking at her thong? Should I be worried?
Some of the girls started to go out and hide, but then I heard a cackle a sickening and evil cackle and out of the blue he came out and he said in a shrill evil voice," Do you like it I did it myself and I'm going to do it to you!" And he rushed to me
And he didn’t let you answer the question? Rude.
so I ran out of the room and hid in a closet and kept quiet, I then noticed that another girl was hiding in the room but she was hiding under the bed. I then heard footsteps and he had started searching the room I then saw him closing up onto the closet but then there was a whimper and he turned around and headed towards the bed and he reached his hand out and pulled out the poor girl and
For the love of all things good and decent, use a freaking period!
she was my best friend Marcy she started screaming and begging for mercy and he started to cut her with his hook blood filled the room as he cut her body. He let her go when he thought that she was dead and he exited the room.
(Narrator): However, she wasn’t completely dead, she was just mostly dead.
I came out of hiding and headed for Marcy and she was still alive! But she was suffering so I did the right thing and ended her suffering.
Can you end my suffering?
I then heard a scream and ran downstairs I then saw him in the living room but he didn't see me I then ran to the bathroom to hide but the only place to hide was the bathtub so I opened the curtains and
(Narrator): …the “Psycho” theme played.
my eyes widen for there was another gruesome death there was blood covering the body, the girl's hair was torn off, her face and stomach were both split open and I saw her scull her guts were falling off her and her organs were ripped off. I then heard the door handle start turning so I hid behind the door when it opened I took a peek and saw nothing but then I heard something being dragged and there was another body I then rushed out of the room and was being chased by the maniac.
Because he’s a maniac, maniac, oh yeah! And he’s killing like he’s never killed before!
I ran towards a room and saw a closet and entered it I then heard footsteps, I then heard things falling down but something was strange for I felt a warm liquid on my hand
(Narrator): …which turned out to be urine. Ew.
so I followed the liquid and it had led me to another body I then saw the closet doors open and he pulled me out by my hairs, I tried to fight back but he was too strong and then he slammed me onto the ground I then said to him," Who are you?" And he replied'" My name is Slashy.
(Slashy): And this is Jackass.
" he took out his hook and raised it up. I then used my knee to hit him on the balls and he fell onto the ground.
Our villain, everyone! Stopped by a knee to the gnads!
I ran out of the house but the door was jammed shut. I then tried the back door but it needed a key to be opened. I then heard a low growl so I turned around and he was right behind me. he then grabbed me by the neck so I scratched his face with my nails and blood started to burst out of his cheeks. And ran again.
Slashy kind of sucks, to be honest.
I then remembered the garage but Slashy beat me to it. So I ran upstairs and tried to escape from the window but I felt something pulling me I then was pinned down onto the ground. Slashy then raised his bloody hook. But then we both heard a serene and blue and red lights. Slashy then looked at me and growled then he said," Your lucky you get to live to see the another sunrise."
(Narrator): Do I get to see a sunset?
And then he was gone. It had been two months since the horror I was in. I t was very late and I was asleep when I heard a strange noise outside so I took a look and there stood Slashy and he gave me a evil devious smirk.
Oh, no, the Narrator might die. The horror. Ahhhhh.
Like most of the stuff by the writer, this story sucks. It has terrible spelling and grammar (seriously, dude, use a freaking period!), a stupid villain, and misrepresentation of the SCP Foundation, among other things. And also, there's the plot. It's basically your generic "serial killer kills teen girls at a slumber party which isn't anything like a real slumber party." Stories with this kind of plot - mostly movies - are basically a cheap gorefest with boobs stuck in there. This story tries doing that, but fails miserably. Sure, it got the serial killer part, but it completely missed the cheesecake part. Actually, I think it tried with the thong part, but that made it seem like the killer or narrator took off the dead girl's pants to see the thong. Good job! You screwed up the crappy formula you were going for. Ugh. Anyway, all in all, this story sucks. A lot.
So, what do you guys think? Is the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Slashy would kill me? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.