I…I just…there’s a story called “Satan On The Muppet Show.” How does that even work? And how does one even think of such a thing? I don’t know. Maybe if we play the music, light the lights, and Riff this bitch, we might find out.

When I was a child, one of my favorite television programs was The Muppet Show.

(Narrator): I used to like “Ed, Edd, N Eddy”, but then that lost episode came on and basically ruined the show for me.

Every night, before I went to bed, I would tune into the show. I would always get so excited when my favorite character, Kermit, appeared.

(Narrator): I always got pissed when Ms. Piggy came on though.

Right after dinner one night, I tuned in to see the green frog that always brought a smile to my face. The show started out normal, with Kermit introducing a special guest star. However, things turned a little strange when Kermit introduced the special guest 'Satan', and instead of the normal, happy singing, there was no sound at all.

But that’s just a little strange, according to the author.

Instead, the camera faded into a black and white doorway. As the camera inched closer and closer, I began to hear small bits of white noise.

It then cut to a scene of Kermit, in front of the standard red theater curtains. There were several things out of place, however, Kermit's head seemed warped and longer than usual. The colors he was composed of were now different, and darker. The bricks were also covered with a very bright substance, which seemed to be carelessly spattered about the wall. Kermit did not say anything. Instead, he just stared blankly at the camera, barely moving. I'm not quite sure how long the scene lasted, but to me it seemed to go on forever.

Actual time: three seconds.

Finally, the scene transitioned to a very dimly lit room that seemed to be someone's attic. The film was in black and white again, and the only source of light came from behind some boxes in the back. The room was very dirty, and had random objects scattered across the floor.

Really? This is going to be broadcast on national TV, man. Clean up your room.

There was a dirty, old projector toppled over in the middle of the room as well. I stared at it for a bit, until something suddenly moved behind it.

What I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life.

(Narrator): JeffXBEN yaoi fanart.

An overstretched, limbless, and filthy Kermit puppet was being slowly dragged across the floor by an unseen string. It looked lifeless, until the head began to crane towards the camera, even though no one was puppeteering it. It took ages for the poor frog's gaze to finally reach me, but as soon as it did, the program cut to static.

Slender Man, stop trolling people.

I just sat in silence, frozen by fright, and staring at the TV. To this day, I still don't have a clue what happened that night. The Muppet Show will always be one of my favorite television shows, but it'll never be quite the same because of that fateful night.

It’s time to have some nightmares on The Muppet Show tonight!


Why is this story called “Satan On The Muppet Show”? We don’t know who or what was on that show. I mean, Satan was only mentioned in one line. There wasn’t even a token 666 thrown in there. Now, as for the story itself, it’s best described as “meh.” It’s not very good, but it’s not horrible. It really doesn’t rely very heavily on clichés, (if it did, there’d probably be a 666 thrown in there but, as I’ve said, they did not do that) so kudos. And I’ll admit, that final description of the Kermit puppet was a tad unsettling. But for the most part, I don’t know what in the hell to think. It’s just this weird little story with a strange and misleading title. Seriously, I was expecting Satan to talk to Kermit or something along those lines. You know, something stupider. I’m actually kind of disappointed. All in all, this story sucks, but not as much as I thought it would.

So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was my Riff good? Do you wish Satan would star on the Riffs? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.