The story "The True Jeff the Killer Story??" started with this lovely line: "Many great stories about outlaw Jeff the killer." Yep. Many GREAT stories about ol' Jeffy. That line will probably be used quite a bit in my Riffs. Anyway, let's take a look at one of those "great stories", and Riff this bitch!
As Jeff committed suicide, a small baby boy awoke.
Wait, Jeff’s killing himself? I like this story already.
He noticed that the door was not closed and was open a small creak. He usually kept it closed so got up and shut it once more. However, what he was unaware of as he went back to sleep was falling down the Jane in his bedroom.
Ugh, I hate it when things fall down the Jane in my bedroom. It’s rather annoying.
It all ocured when Jeff saw the figure.
(Jeff): Oh, an action figure! Awesome!
Jeff had just killed another victim and was feeling rather happy with the results he had tarn after the skull of the victam and stabbed the brain rather grosomely.
That brutal murderer, grosomely killing his victams! Monster!
However, as he ran through the forest near the house to make his escape, he got a weird feeling,
but not like the ones he got wen he first started his psychiopathic tendancies and murdered Randy, his parents, and Liu. It was more of a feeling of being stalked and watched.
Slender Man, stay out of this story. You’re better than this.
He quickly turned around to see a girl staring at him however as he got closer the girl took off in to the night and he gave chase he ran but he did not catch up he tripped.
Jeff the Killer, everyone! Homicidal maniac who randomly trips!
He scowled and exclaimed, "Shit, I lost her." Jeff then got up, brushed off himeself, and continued walking in the forest.
A few weeks passed. Jeff was murdering left and right and left and right
(Narrator): …and up and down and side to side.
finally he came to the house that would change his life.
At first he simply stalked the house and waited for the perfet moment to sneak in. He snuck in was family (two parents and one baby) was upstairs. He simply quietly opened the unlocked door and sunck basement.
What’s a sunck basement? What does that even mean?
Finally, at night, Jeff was about to crawl out of the basement when he heard a muted scream from upstairs he thought he was found he was not.
He went upstairs about half hour later just in case the police were there and the scream had alerted the neighbors. Jeff not stupid.
He crept though the halls until he reached the parents room. A chill runs up his spine for a reason he could not place until he entered.
As he entered, he saw the parents completely gutted. Blood is everywhere. It was sloppy done.
(Jeff): God damn it! I was going to kill these people!
"Who did this" he muttered. He then left that room and walked down to the baby's room as he entered he noticed something odd.
Proper spelling and grammar?
The baby was fin not a scrathc on him. As he looked in disbelief he saw a note written next to him. It read,
If you are reading this new that no matter many innocent victims you claim or how much innocent blood you shed, I'm still coming for you in the en all of the men and women you so viciously slaughtered and disembowelleded, I beat you to I killed them not itse I hate them; I imagined those victims were you as I took their lives tt was mere vision of you that made kill them. I never did like you, you greasy-headeded, grinning, smug, ignorant son of a bitch. My blawck eyes look like I'm void of vision but I'm not. Just remember the night that you creep into a poor girl's bedroomyoure gonna fall head over heels down the fucking stairs with your guts caught on the broken glass of the window I smash smashed you into tonight when I reach you evil will battle evil winner kills all and the only one who will not get out alive is you I'm coing for you. Sleep well... Signed, Jane the Killer
If you ever wondered how “Jane’s Letter” could be worse, now you know.
As Jeff scoffed at the letter the police siren started wailing Jeff fled though window. The police discovered the scene and dismissed as the work of another killer who had recently slaughtered a family several milles away.
Anotehr week passed Jeff grow anxious. He began to see the girl behind him even more and never once caught a glimpse of face he wanted to meet her he wanted to kill her but at same tim he did'nt he still wants to learn more about her her life her haterd of him it amused him to think about it.
The writer of “Half-Life, Full Life Consequences” is probably reading this and thinking, “Dude, learn to spell!”
That same day Jeff finally met his fate. He used the same tactic as he did with the house he found Jane's letter in to break into another family's house (two parents, a sister, and a young baby boy) he waited until night yet again. At night, he crawled out and murdered the sister and the two parents he then started walking towarded the boy's room when someone tackled him. "Who are you!?" Jeff yelled but quietly.
"Who do you think, Jeffery?" the girl teased.
(Jane): I’m your ex-wife! I’ve come to get alimony!
He suddenly realied it was Jan.
Ah, yes, the scary and well-known Jan the Killer.
Jeff eventully escaped and ran in to the boy's room but Jane was hot on his heel she ran in too. Jeff backed in to cornor he knew that he could probably fight Jane back but what if Jane had a few trick he didnt know.
Something then came over Jeff. He realisded all the pain he caused had cause all the misrey he had caused his brother he had killed his parents everyone he bagan to feel emotion.
(Narrator): Jeff was becoming a real boy!
After all of the killing, he realised his legacy must end at some point. Jeff dropped his knife.
"G-go ahead. Finish it."
"I can;t kill you like this that would be too easy it would be letting you win!" she said. Jeff suddenly smirked to himself.
"W-Whats funny?" Jane questioned.
(Jeff): How badly written this story is.
Jeff suddenly punched Jane and grabbed the knife aiming it right at his throat.
"I-it's time for me to... go to sleep."
Jeff slit his own throat.
A small boy then awoke, his vision blurry.
As this happened Jane ducked into the closet of the small boy's closet door woke the small boy the door had been creaked open when Jeff had entered to kill the baby boy, but Jane was there somehow she hid the closet.
The boy suddenly saw a dead body it was Jeff's body. He screamed. Jane suddenly realized what she must do.
Jane plunged the knife into herself.
Her dead body fell out of the closet. The boy fainted from the shock.
The police found both bodies after a couple days. A neighbor wanted to check up on them and called the police after two days an officer investigated. He found the bodies and claimed that the imfamous Jeff The Killer was dead.
(Narrator): Parades were held, and the song, “Ding, Dong, the Crappypasta Character Is Dead” was played.
A legend had fallen.
The body was put in a coffin.
A legend had finally given in.
The body was buried.
(Narrator): A legend had exploded.
(Narrator): A body was spit on.
A legend had left a legacy of hate but had tried to redeem himself in the eyes of the word.
The word? What, did Jeff piss of a bird?
Jeff was dead.
Well, at least this story has a happy ending.
This story is bad, but enjoyable. Sure it has terrible spelling and grammar, the character motivation makes no sense (seriously, why did Jeff and Jane randomly kill themselves), and it's incredibly stupid, but it's funny as hell to read. Also, Jeff the Killer dies in this story, so that's a good thing. Honestly, this is probably the Creepypasta equivalent of a "so bad, it's good" movie. It does almost everything wrong, but it's still funny as hell to read.
So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish I would randomly kill myself? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!