aka Dorkpool

  • I live in The USS Cheese Doodle (It's a weird name, but I have my reasons)
  • I was born on June 30
  • My occupation is Mercenary, Atheist Minister, Blogger, Smartass, Riffer, Reviewer, Writer
  • I am the GODDAMN DORKPOOL -cue electric guitars of awesomeness-
  • Dorkpool

    Some Blog Post Advice

    March 14, 2018 by Dorkpool

    So, I’ve been seeing a decent amount of blog posts recently that are basically, well, nothing. This bugs me more than a little bit, partly because I put a decent amount of effort into my blog posts. I write them out in Word, look over them, edit them, then post them. There are a ton I haven’t posted simply because I didn’t feel they were good enough. 

    Meanwhile, there are these little one to two sentence blogs that can’t even write those one to two sentences grammatically correct, or are reviews that are basically saying something sucks because it sucks or whatever. I could spend hours just bitching about these, since bitching about inconsequential idiocy is sort of my thing, but rather than bitch I’m going to give you folks thinking of wri…

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  • Dorkpool

    So Jeff the Killer’s being talked about on the Wiki again. Well, Banning’s JtK rewrite is being talked about and shit on, which has been going on almost consistently since 2015. 

    Anyway, since people are talking about ol’ Jeffy again, I decided I’d like to say a thing or two about the character.

    I’ve made it no secret that I actually sort of like Jeff. After making fun of tons of his stories, I’ve come to have a minor appreciation of the character, and personally think that, as a concept, Jeff isn’t the worst. It’s just that most of the time, when people write about Jeff they forget things like a plot, or character development, or how to spell certain words. You know, little details like that. 

    That being said, people have been able to write …

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  • Dorkpool

    Guess What's Back

    February 2, 2018 by Dorkpool

    To the folks who have been following the Riffs since they were booted off the Wiki, you might have noticed that they stopped a little over a year ago. Sorry about that. But hey, good news, they're back, and I intend to keep doing them. I also intend to lay off the story arcs, because dear lord are those bitches to write.

    Anyway, the link to the newest one is here . Sorry for advertising, but I felt some of you would like to know about this.

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  • Dorkpool

    You know, everyone’s quick to say that a story is good, or, more often, is bad. Which I understand, don’t get me wrong. But rather than call something crap, I wanted to try something else. There are various stories that, in my opinion, could be good, or at least better, but to achieve their greatness they need a once over. 

    I think a good example of this is “Jeff the Killer.” Killer guy who looks like the Joker. Not too bad of a concept. Original story sucks though. However, “Jeff the Killer 2015” is pretty great. Not perfect, but I like it. 
    Jeff isn’t the only one who could use a reboot. A lot of classic Creepypasta stories have aged like William Shatner. I’m going to go over some, why they need a reboot, and an idea or two about how such …

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  • Dorkpool

    Slender Man Movie

    January 11, 2018 by Dorkpool

    You know, I had this whole thing made up for a comeback. Well, ok, it wasn’t finished, but it was something. I was gonna do this whole parody of a part from the comic The Dark Knight Returns, and call the post “The Dork Knight Returns.” It was gonna be a whole thing, triumphantly announcing the return of the Creepypasta Wiki’s annoying Riff-making asshole. But nooooo, Sony has to go and fuck it up for me. 

    God, it feels like The Amazing Spider-Man all over again. 

    So, why am I bitching about Sony right now? Don’t worry, it’s not about the Emoji Movie; that’s gotten way too much hate and discussion to be any fun to insult for a long period of time. Nope, it’s because Sony’s doing a Slender Man movie. They’ve got a trailer and everything! 

    Of cours…

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