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Read this at your own risk. I'm a terrible reviewer, and this is probably surface-level stuff.

Hey out there, everyone and anyone who takes the time to read this. If you came before Empy's first great story massacre, you will know me as an active but relatively new user, and if you came after, you will probably know me as just another regular. I'm not here for introductions, though. I'm here to post an incredibly poorly thought-out review of EmpyrealInvectives longest novella so far (probably not including A Good Ending), We R Leejun. I'm not gonna make it a secret, I love this novel. It's easily better than some published ones I've read. That being said, I don't want to say it's flawless because that'd be stupid, but I am going to say, as far as stories go, this is one of the better ones. With that said, let's get into the review.

Okay, so I'm going to give a spoiler warning right here I highly recommend you read the novella before reading this review for a couple reasons:
A: I will not be giving an overview of the plot.
B: It would be better if you read it so you understood the references in this.
C: It's easily on of the best stories on the site.

We R Leejun is very stupid. It is so stupid, in fact, that the very act of reading it will most likely may make you stupider. If I had to describe a counterpart to relate its level of stupidity to you, I would probably choose Shawn of the Dead, but with less arguing over records and more puns about smashing zombies heads in (if you know the ending, take that whatever way you will). It is a great combination of horror in the serious parts and comedy in the lighthearted parts, with little interjections from onlookers mixed in (as this story is being told by the protagonist to a bunch of bar-dwelling folk).

We R Leejun is a very charismatic story, with the character tropes that have come to be expected. This isn't a bad thing, as the characters each play their part very well, and paired with empy's storytelling, this is extremely well presented. We have Zombie, the main protagonist, and the one telling the story at the bar. He is left relatively blank, and I'd even go so far as to say he is left too blank throughout the story. He does have a personality, but we have to read quite far into the novel to get much of a sense of it. It's normally whatever fits the situation. Next, we have Body Snatcher, the comedy relief. I'm not ashamed to say that he is my favourite character, and that he kind of reminds me of Dix (Read the novel. You'll understand). And then, we have Vampire. She's kind of a... different character than the rest. Her darker personality lends depth to certain situations, but in my opinion takes away from certain more comedic scenes, though she can fit well in some of them. She is kind of the opposite of Body Snatcher in the group. That being said, all of these characters seemed very real and fit the story quite well.

We R Leejun has themes of social isolation and outcast running rampant throughout. There are metaphors such as Body Snatchers 'pad' being little more than an apartment with furniture against the door, but all three characters prefer it to the hell that awaits them in the outside world. Then, when their apartment is overrun, (again, by other 'survivors',) this could be seen as parallel to cliquing and bullying in the real world. Their group that banded together just for survival could be seen as a small group of friends going up against the world and trying to find themselves, before finding out who they are and what they're doing. It studies social and self-identification theories through the guize of being nothing more than a shawn-of-the-dead esque story. There were some ridiculous parts (come sail away fight scene) which allowed the personality of the characters to become apparent, and there are some more serious scenes, where each character is allowed to show what the repercussions of having that personality in a group. There are certain scenes when I nearly quit reading (body snatcher's 'death') due to an emotional overload, and there are certain scenes which made me laugh out loud (anywhere that legion interrupts characters). This was an emotional story, though I must say that it was well rounded with the smatterings of comedy.

We R Leejun is all around ridiculous story full of boner jokes, baseball bat puns, crazy men in churches, and fighting zombies to the song 'come sail away' (side note: at the time I read it, I had never heard come sail away. I looked it up a little while ago, and it is easily one of the worst songs for a zombie apocalypse). I really enjoyed reading it, and damn I wish there was more, but I'd rather have the ending it had (With the reference to it in the very beginning from the bloody mary pitcher) than a long, drawn out serial one. All in all, this was a great story, and to Empy, you need to start charging for this. I know what you said in the comments, but you seriously should.


Okay, to everyone out there who hated reading this, the story is much, much better than this review. Now, let's cut this off before I make any more of you depressed at the quality of reviewers this site has, and tell you to read the novel.