So in my school my life is pretty chaotic although my school life compared to my home life is calm but anyways so there are two of my guy friends named Walker and Brandon who have told me that they like me. Well so then over the weekend my friend Walker went up to his cabin and came back and suddenly has a girlfriend named Emily and apperently she's prettier than anyone in my school. I like like both brandon and walker so when walker says this i already don't have a real high self of steam so it felt REAL nice. (notice the sarcasm.) so then today well i'm talking to brandon over the phone he poses the question of since walker is with emily if he asked me out would i go out with him and i told him right now i wouldn't since last month not even a full month ago my ex broke up with me. (even though we are still friends.) So i've told all my guy friends and all my girl friends (you know friends who are girls.) that i'm not gonna date anyone till december so like 2 months till now. So i told brandon this and well he accepted it but I guess my feelings for walker were more than i orginally tought because when he told me this i felt like i wanted my heart to be torn out cause it felt like a spear was going through it. I don't know what it means all i know is for some reason i can still act friendly to walker and smile like emily doesn't exist. I don't like that feeling or the feeling of know that not only one but possibly TWO boys have gotten ahold of my heart i don't like when my heart falls for some guy cause it always ends up horrible. Not to mention my heart is the weakest part of me (subtract feelings) so i don't let it easily get taken. Not only that but with the guys i've been with only 2 have REALLY caught it before these 2 and when they broke up with me and my heart didn't break meerly steeled over so the fact that these 2 boys got past all the defenses i've put up aren't good for me. To say i'm usually on my guard is an understatement. Dear lord wish me luck as i got to deal with this wonderful realtionship/love triangle shit and all my friend's drama.