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PastaSins: The Russian Sleep Experiment

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Again, this is not associated with CinemaSins in any way. Likewise, I recommend reading the original 'Pasta alongside this. With that in mind, enjoy-

1 Wouldn’t a sealed environment severely limit their oxygen intake anyway?

2 Five guys in a single room sharing a toilet while under experimental gas with unknown side effects. Yeah, I don’t see how that could go horribly wrong.

3 Trapped in a room with four other guys? Talk about disturbing experiences with each other. The increased paranoia between each other will create a lifelong friendships. Or make everyone kill one another. Same difference.

4 Unless the prisoners all speak Russian, I doubt whispering into a microphone would do them much good anyway.

5 See, I knew only having one toilet would lead to problems. Also, did no one put toilet paper in there? Guess that’s what the books were for.

6 They could just be quietly smearing their crap everywhere. Apparently the gas reduces them to the mentality of chimpanzees.

7 Who needs fresh air when you can have the lovely smell of shit?

8 Heavily armed military doesn’t bother to use force to get five unarmed and mentally unstable people out of a single room.

9 Does the gas also cover the smell of crap? Or are the test subjects just so used to the smell that they can no longer stand the smell of fresh air?

10 Ah, water tainted with blood and feces. Perfect for people to wade around in with open wounds.

11 Fun science fact! The small intestine of a human being is 22 feet long while the large intestine is 5 feet long. That’s a lot of guts for a small room. Also, last time I checked, your digestive system needed to be inside you in order to live.

12 Did the test subjects continue to scream or did the Russian soldiers continue to scream?

13 So, does removing one’s intestines in blood and feces tainted water give you superhuman strength?

14 Removing vital organs and laying them in feces and blood tainted water has no effect on the prisoners but a spleen injury is fatal.

15 I could be wrong, but, last time I checked, anesthetic was used to so the patient wouldn’t feel pain while undergoing surgery. There are surgical procedures (primarily brain surgery) in which the patient is kept awake.

16 Jeff The Killer, is that you? What are you doing in Russia?

17 Experimental gas turns you into a sadomasochist.

18 Wait, there’s an extra prisoner now. Are military personnel in Russia just really bad at counting? Or, did the prisoners just randomly give birth to a full-grown man?

19 Want to stay up all night? Wade in your own filth and rip out your intestines!

20 Now there’s only three subjects again. I guess the random fourth subject just wandered off?

21 This story takes place in the 1940s. The first EEG monitor wasn’t available until the 1950s. Did the Russian military have a TARDIS the whole time?

22 Oh, hey, I think the random extra prisoner came back! Hi, random extra prisoner!

23 Obviously he’s a crazy sleep-deprived prisoner who spent several days tearing out his own guts and sitting in his own filth. Why is that so hard to figure out?

24 Creepypasta plagiarizes the ending of an episode of The Twilight Zone.

25 Yes, freedom of being addicted to a stimulant gas that makes you smear crap and tear out your guts!

Total Sin Tally: 25

Punishment: You fail biology forever!

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