This is a bit of a rant, be warned.
I just got bitched out on another site for using the wrong form of "it's" in one of my stories. I don't know how this happened, honestly, I'm usually very obsessive about grammar. I made the mistake about three times. I blame my high school English teacher for coming to class drunk on Nyquil every day.
So, according to this person, my pasta "Dream Of Waking" is terrible, and I should never write again until I have a proper grasp of the English language. Also, the language my main character uses sounds like a 13 year old douche. She only swears a few times. She's a frustrated, sleep deprived, mentally unstable teenager. What do you expect?
This person did point out one thing that I found very useful. I need to work on character development. My characters seem a bit flat. This person stated that they didn't care about the main character or her brother, which is understandable, since very little is known about them. The little brother just kind of shows up out of nowhere.
My next story will hopefully be much better. It's going to be long though, I can tell already. So If you have a short attention span, my next pasta might not be for you.