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Why jeff the killer/slenderman/the rake/etc aren't true

When I first read Jeff the killer i got relly scared,but over time i saw it was just twisted crap.First:

1.Bleach makes your skin RED, not WHITE and just for a short period of time.

2.You can't burn your EYELIDS of because... freakin' flesh.

3.Even if you could, you would get major eye damage and be blind.

4.Jeff's grin was a metod of torture named The Glasgow smile and people died because...blood loss.

5.How did he get rid of his nose?

6.Burns make your skin red/brown/black not white.

7.Your hair doesn't stay on your head after you burn it.

Verdict:Flour+bald idiot+black hair+jam=Jeff the killer 

Now about Slenderman:

1.Suit and necktie? Realy?

2. How can he breath without a mouth or a nose and see without eyes?

3.Tentacles?

4.Children?

Verdict:Octodad drank bleach and cut his ink sack then glued a paper sheet on his face.

The rake

1.A rake is not a monster.Google it.

2.Humanoid hairless dog.Give me freakin' break.

3.How to make a story more interesting?Wolverine claws should do.

Verdict:Butterball, my dear dog.Who is the motherf- who shaved you and why do you have claws?

Smile dog

1. Huskies are great dogs after you meet them.

2.Who gave dog-like features to the skeezer?

3.Should we say spread the virus?Neh spread the word sounds creepier

Verdict:Who photoshoped my skeezer?

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