So I've figured out that
Oblit is auntie oblit
(br tags beeyotch),
Cleric is uncle cleric, xancrews is daddy xan, and somebody else who I don't remember the name of is mommy [insert name here].

So that is to say, I'm deh grandpa, because I don't understand kidsh deesh dayz, I like to tell stories, and I'm generally friendly to anybody who's not THOSE DAMN RULEBREAKING KIDS

The non-admins/non-chatmod/non-rollbacker are the little rascals and the rulebreakers are THOSE DAMN KIDS.
Now where do the rest of the rest of the admins fit in this metaphorical family? I dunno. I can't remember half their names because of the alzheimers anyways. :P