I wrote a sequel to my first pasta, but I have no idea how it turned out (I like it, but I wrote it). Would anyone mind having a look at it? (You don't have to comment, just tell me what could be improved besides the formatting.)
A link to the first pasta is at the top of that one, which you may want to read for backstory. It can sort of stand alone if you think of it as a "not-being-given-all-the-details" pasta.