Last night I had an unsettling vision which I believe is going to come true sometime within the next hour. I say this because it really felt and continues to feel like a reality I'm unable to throw away. I guess I could classify it as a lucid experience, but I've never heard of a dream with effects that extend hours past waking up. As far as the staging of my nightmare goes, I was acting like a spectator to myself which wasn't completely unusual in my dreams as it has happened before. I was able to anticipate what I'd do and I followed the pattern I thought of pretty accurately. I easily discovered that the world was only interactive with the version of myself I watched, not where I was observing from.
In the dream I was browsing the internet as a way of passing the time after school. It was late in the afternoon and I was home alone. Things were at a standstill for a few moments until there came a slow but persistent knocking on the front door. I saw myself carefully rise from my chair and try to see who it was through the window and if I needed to answer it. I always hate being interrupted in my alone time. In fact I've come to despise many human lives as some kind of emotionally disturbed teenager. However I saw my facial expression become even more depressed than it already looked upon identifying who my visitor was. I had a hard time forcing my ghostly self to look out the window, but I already knew who it was. The police.
I wasn't expecting them so early and I wasn't able to be as calm and collected as I thought I could be under the intense pressure. The officer arrived since there was a terrible murder of another student in my high school class the night before. The poor girl who was the victim was very kind and able to befriend many people with that friendliness, but unfortunately there was a somewhat unseen hatred towards her. She, who had the second highest GPA in our senior class, probably never saw it coming. With her beautiful red dyed hair and child like innocence, no enemy would need to delete the salutatorian. However, I'm the valedictorian. I would have motive to protect my rank in the last months before graduation. The decimals between our averages were incredibly small, so to guarantee my absolute victory, I could have done it. Considering the small class size, it may not have been such a surprise for everyone if I was found guilty.
Nonetheless, the whole town was being searched and even though my house is somewhat distanced from her's, in a situation like this there are plenty of leads and mine was no excuse. The lone cop shouted about having a search warrant and I unhappily gripped the doorknob and opened up to courageously face him. However, when I opened the door, I discovered that this was not the police. At my front door, standing on the porch, was a sickening demonic entity. Whatever kind of devil it was, I couldn't tell. It was miserably blurry like a cloud of wasps and gave off the most frightening feeling I've ever had to overcome. It had these glowing white eyes that were nearly too bright to look into, but ones that offered no warmth like the sun that blinds the same. I averted my gaze down as an instinctive response, only to then see claws that could fatally wound a mythological beast in seconds. My actual self immediately recoiled in what I'd imagine was a combination of fear and disgust. He, or rather I, collapsed backwards and starting thrashing on the ground as if suffering a seizure. The room began to fade into a bright red, but before the vision lost its vividness, I saw myself raise in a possessed and twisted way and get absorbed by the evil. My flesh melted into the darkness that swarmed around be and consumed me. The last thing I saw before the red flash awoke me was its bright eyes looking at me.
It was only 5:00 in the early morning when I awoke and discovered a small pool of vomit on my sheets. Evidently the very presence of that monster at my door induced the mental response to regurgitate in what could be called a nightmare. School started in just about 3 hours from that point and I lost interest in trying to sleep, so I remained awake cleaning the mess I'd made. Time inched slower than it ever has within those hours and I spent much of that time enduring the recent memory of the demon which entered my dream. The sun was covered by clouds, so not even that dared to relieve me. I proceeded to depart to school, as separated from reality as my mind was, where I then learned about the murder of the second best our class had to offer.
It was especially difficult to maintain my usual silent and hard working self with this and my vision occurring all within the same 12 hours.
I resorted to prayer. As a Christian and a dedicated believer of Jesus Christ, I begged in a sorrowful fashion for some indescribable thing. It should have been healing for the family and friends of the victim, but it was selfishly prioritized for my emotional revival. I truly believed and still do profess, that my situation is much worse than someone who was quickly murdered in the middle of their sleep. I've heard as things such as sleep paralysis which can inspire terror in the unsuspecting individual's night, but how many have truthfully felt like God has decided to send them to hell because of some weird incident in their slumber? How many, in all honesty, know that they've lost? For such a secular school, there was a church-like feedback during the assembly discussing what happened the previous night. Despite the attempts at uplifting words which guided our hearts away from the sadness into security, I had to fight using my remaining energy to not burst out crying.
I received a number of glances from my friends and even others who I hated (which were plentiful) that looked suspicious. I got at least a dozen alone once the principal briefly mentioned how the officials were looking into the matter and will catch whoever was responsible. I'd place bets that since this was so shocking, nobody felt better by what those idiots had to say about her untimely demise. They thought it was me, but they just weren't willing to say it. I almost was waiting for the principal to go ahead and accuse me of it, but luckily he didn't or I'd have been taken away much earlier. The question, in essence, asks whether one honors student with a bright future is willing to take away both their own continuity and that of another's. The answer is yes. I murdered her last night with the mentality that she deserved it.
I had a list of reasons going for why I had to end her life, all of which were irrational and only now seem it to me. For one, she was working at stealing my valedictorian legacy, which was a title I felt I deserved and must defend at any way possible. If not definite academically, it was surely gonna happen with this solution. How could some social slacker with natural ability in her cranium belong in the top spot instead of someone who was willing to sell his soul to achieve it? Additionally, that seductress sloth was too nice that it made me cringe internally. She was faking it or something, because to have that many people worshiping your image requires some slippery choice of words. Honestly, I swear I heard her indirectly insist on verbally challenging me on a couple occasions. My paranoia was out of control if I could hate someone's innocent charisma since I believed it concealed a manipulative beast underneath. Plus I didn't really know her so how could I be certain of her evil? My final reason was religious and very hypocritical since murder contradicts the 10 Commandments as well as earthly moral. I knew for a fact that she and her other attractive friend were atheists who would be willing to openly insult God. In fact, I saw them do it as early as freshman year. It was back then that the seeds were planted to cause this sinister mistake. My flawed reasoning was that they hate God and are promised a place in hell, so why not remove them before they convert others to their secular ways if they can't repent anyways?
I was no better than any serial killer. My inhibitions were warped into believing that it would be justice to kill that whore. I was the vigilante who had to teach that one popular group a lesson through the example of killing one of their best. Somehow the epiphany of remorse didn't come into effect after I shot a bullet into her brain. I reacted without any regrets as I silently fled the scene according to my perfect plan. It was when my nightmare took place that the barrier of cold and calculating was crushed and I became a nervous wreck. I struggled to contain it, but it isn't being suspected by my school or the law that I have to worry about. I was very successful in committing this unforgivable crime. Despite being an imbecile with a questionable independence at times, when I establish my intentions I must complete them. Unfortunately this was no exception to my determined ambitions, but if there was it should have been this. It's really too bad that I'm as intelligent as I am, or else I'd have made a mistake and could have been arrested instead of taken to hell. It's real rough to try and decipher what has happened in these past 24 hours let alone explain it, but basically if I turned myself in first, I'm sure everything would be fine.
Planning first began in sophomore year. I downloaded the tor browser as a client for accessing the deep web. As foolish and unrealistic as it may sound, the black market offered there is where I got a fake licence plate and a silenced pistol with the training needed to hit my target with the most precision. I had met with the dealer in an isolated part of town and he proved to be a very talented teacher, because I had mastered the weapon in a month. I also had a ski mask, a hairnet stolen from the kitchen my mother works at, and a paperclip. With just these items and full knowledge of where she would be sleeping that night, I was able to kill her with absolute stealth. No DNA was left at the scene since I wore gloves, a hairnet, and even considered my cat's fur sticking to my black clothing. I shot her once with the silenced weapon and while that sound may have alerted some of the people in the surrounding radius, it wouldn't threaten them enough to call the police. After she was dead I awaited in silence for another number of minutes for the parents to check the house after hearing it. It seemed that they weren't awake enough to search the perimeter, to my bloody benefit. Her blood matched her red hair, I remember because I removed the bullet that got stuck in her skull using tweezers. I could care less whether they found the body, because how could they connect it to me if I was sleeping at that time? It was around 2:00 when she was dead. I drove away in my parent's car, which was my biggest risk, however I still am confident that no witnesses were present and as a precaution the license plate was changed.
I arrived at home to dispose of the weapon and its bullet in addition to my blood soaked clothes by burying them underneath an already buried time capsule in the woods in the neighbor's property. It was pretty much impossible for them to find them and since there was no existing evidence to convict me, the world had nothing on me. I put my head on my pillow at 3:00 with a devilish smile on my face and an evil force around my heart. The rest of the story leads up to right now, as I type this.
As I stated before, I am a Christian. Sadly that alone wasn't enough to save me from the inner demon that consumed me. I failed to resist the building desire to kill and mistook it as a sign of my intellect and integrity instead of the loss of just that. The reality is, at least as I can still manage to report it as this, is that the monstrosity I confronted in my dream was helping me. It's that bastard who whispered these ideas to me and I accepted them like the sheep that I am. The reason I had such luck over the illegal dealings and murder setting was because I was under the curse of the devil's angels. That is no excuse for what I've done and now I deeply regret it.
Looks like someone is at my door right now. I'm sure it's the officer with his search warrant. That means I have to answer. It means I have given in to the deadly effects of unholy persuasion. Resist.