Are you sad? Lonely? Abused? An outcast? Are you being bullied at school, or going through a divorce which you did nothing to bring about?

Has your life gone so far downhill that you can no longer see the sky? Are the nights closing in on you like a noose? Are you thinking of just simply ending it all?

If you are any, or even all of these things, are you... angry?

Has the painful injustice of your sad situation kindled wrath in your soul? Do you wish to lash out and make the person or persons involved regret all that they've done to you? Do you wish to see them bleed and scream and suffer as you have suffered?

Then, my friend, have I got a solution for you.

You see, the world is far more mysterious than most believe. With every scientific breakthrough, there are still five more anomalies which the rational mind cannot explain. Beneath the veneer of industry and happiness lie shadows that are deeper, older and more unnatural than can be explained away by a rational mind.

There are things that go bump in the night, there are monsters and beasts and things with sharp teeth and appetites for little children, and there are most certainly methods of obtaining power and influence that are dismissed as foolish by the average person.

Old rites, ancient curses and rituals forbidden in their days. All of which work, all of which can open doors.

Doors to immense wealth, vast knowledge and unimaginable power.

They've fallen into obscurity, but make no mistake, the beings who answered these calls back when the world was dark will still do so if called upon properly, and given the proper respect.

I know of a ritual, one that cannot be found on any modern texts, a ritual which will allow the downtrodden and angry to become what others fear.

You will need the following:

  • a silver-backed mirror.
  • three silver needles.
  • a file.
  • a rotting animal carcass, preferably a cat or bird.
  • a jug of ink.

And the willingness to do whatever it takes to sate your hatred.

You must perform the ritual in a secluded place, as what you are about to do would be... unwise to do in public.

First, place the mirror against the wall opposite you, making sure that you are close enough to see every inch of your face.

Once the mirror is set up, place the file, needles, ink and carcass around your person. Then stare at yourself in the mirror and concentrate on your hatred until it burns behind your eyes and reddens your skin. You must be in a state of total fury, only then will the actions you take next appease the unseen beings that coil around you.

Take the jug of ink and upend it over your body, making sure to cover as much of your skin in the stuff as you can. Collect as much of the ink that has missed your body as you can and apply it as well.

Next, take the carcass and strip it of all meat with your bare hands. The meat should be putrefied and maggot-ridden. Take any... fluids that leak from the carcass and swallow as much of it as you can, keeping your vomit down once you are finished.

Eat the meat as well and then take the file. What you must do next will be painful, but it must be done, no matter how agonizing it may be: take the file and slowly grind the edges of your teeth until the enamel is grated away, until your teeth are pointed like those of an animal.

Sharpen all of your front teeth and spit the blood in your mouth onto the mirror. This will signal to the beings that live outside of our reality that you are ready for the next step.

Wait and gather up your strength. Then take the three needles and place the first two above your eyes in such a way as to pin the eyelids up. Insert the last needle through your tongue.

Now that you have suffered, the Old Ones will know that you are worthy, and you may begin the final stages.

Bare your newly-sharpened teeth and say these words as clearly as you can:

"I hate and am hated. I've bled and now I will make them bleed. I will accept the call of the shadows and join the endless war on humanity until the day I die. Make me what others fear. Make me a monster!"

The change will happen shortly thereafter: Your pores will weep fluids that will bind your limbs together, your innards will dissolve and force their way out from every orifice, your eyes will liquefy and your skin will unravel like thread.

This will occur within the span of an hour, and when it is done you will emerge from the stinking slurry of your old body as something new, something powerful and ageless and very, very horrific.

I cannot say what you will look like. The Old Ones will decide what your now form will look like, but rest assured it will make others cower before you.

You will have become a monster, and you will join your freakish brethren in the dark corners of the world. In the moors and castles, in the tombs and sepulchers, beneath the earth and in the ocean's depths, capering through the lonely forests or flying through the dark.

You will terrorize and kill, maim and mutilate, you will be art of an army of shades and boogeymen.

You will sate your hatred and then some.

But be warned, you will shun the light from that day until you are killed, and you will never, ever return to human form.

So be wary, my friend, be sure of your own will, for failure will result in the Old Ones taking your mind to their realm and leaving your body a blank, rotting shell. Such are their ways.