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  • I know I still have a story to finish but I don't know how long it will take to finish it, I know Halloween pass long time ago, but it took three or four months to finish that story, I know it will not be perfect if I still have errors tell me I will change some spelling or change the words if its not perfect.

    It was Halloween, I was going to school and my sister Emily was with me at that moment when we are walking the street I see like a boy looking at me. I say to my sister "Did you see him?" waiting for her to answer"Who?" she replied to my question, I look where the boy was standing, but he wasn't there anymore then I look at my sister with shock did I imagine things.

    My mind was racing did I really see that boy, but I was unsure of what I really see today and of course, I decide that it was just my imagination or something but it was something strange about that boy and I don't know what it was. Of course classes was boring as usual, I didn't get any attention to the teacher who speaks since it was a math class I was looking at the window and I swear during the class I see the same boy who was in the street earlier, but I see that in his right hand he was holding an object which looks like an ax.

    "What the hell its that?" I yelled and disturb the classes as the teacher look at me and say "A problem mister Hamilton," I look at my teacher still looking at the window then shake my head and says "No, Everything fine," that's was a lie because I didn't want anyone else to panic if I tell the truth. The class then continue, and I was looking at the window again lost in my thought, Class was finally over and I was shaking because of the vision I see of that boy he was not normal because two parts of his body were missing his nose and his mouth.

    I didn't tell anybody about this boy, because everyone will think that I am crazy or something like that, I really need an answer which's that boy and why he carried an ax like that in his right hand, I just hope someone will answer my question later. I tried to find something from the library to look at some books, when I heard foot steps coming my way, I tried to hide as the steps came closer, I see the silhouette of the boy who came in my direction I can see the axe very clearly as he was close he was wearing old clothing and when I look at his face I notice that his nose and mouth was not there only a bloody half of his face.

    I scream when I heard someone who says "Are you crazy young man, it's a library here!"I look up to the woman and see that the boy vanished, "Sorry," I say to her a bit confused, I was sure that he was there again, after school, I wanted some answers and maybe someone can help me with it. Of course, I was walking the street when passing in front of my friend house full of decoration for Halloween, I knock at his door and open it, I was a bit pale after that encounter with that boy and my friend also noticed it.

    "Dude what's wrong?" he says looking at me when I got pale, I then look at him and says "I just encounter a boy with the half of his face cut off and an ax on his hand!"the eyes of my friend widened when I say it he was scared like he knew it will happen, "So you encounter the Crazy Wood Cutter,"he says to me as I look at him and says "The what?". My friend then take me to the kitchen and show me some old newspapers that was in his basement for a long time, "It was a tragic story and my grandparents always told me about it," says my friend as I still look at the boy on the picture, I also found an old diary with some pages written on while the other pages were blank.

    Gabriel was a good boy he was the older of four children, he had three sisters who was years after him he never had a problem and was loved by everyone in his village, he always helped his father with the chores that he do and always play with his sisters when he also has time like play to hide and seek and tickling them and laughing with them. He was always nice to every one of his town and have a couple of friends around him, of course he was happy, and he thought nothing will get worse to him that's what he always says to everyone.

    But when Gabriel was walking in the street, he heard a conversation it was two boys from his school, they say in front of him that he was a strange boy that he always wears a beanie over his head and wear strange clothes, of course, he get bullied by these two boys when he finally confronted them, they beat him up and mocked him the teachers and other students did nothing to help him, when he finally gets on his feet he went home. When his parents see him with a black eye and completely beaten up, they tell him what happens, Gabriel says nothing keeping it to himself, he knew that his parents wanted to help him and just wonder what is going on, but Gabriel angrily pushed them away and go to his room slamming the door leaving his parents and sisters speechless by his attitude.

    After he was in room Gabriel was feeling that he was now alone and he was angry, he didn't want to help anyone or play and stay in his room and doesn't speak to anyone, he was feeling that something wasn't right and his family did also feel that he had changed, one day while he was still in his room he became to hear voices and these voices not very friendly and want him to do bad things, at first Gabriel ignored it and when the days were going and he finally walk outside he sees that the people are talking very badly about him. That makes him very furious, and he walks away, when he was going to the woods he wanted to have some space for himself, but then the voices came back again Gabriel tried to ignore it, but they grew stronger that he then make an evil laughter because he does feel that he was not the same anymore and became crazy.

    One night when he was at his house that's where things got really bad, it was Halloween night Gabriel decide that he's going out of his room and go to the shed where his father hide all of his tools, Gabriel then took an ax and he entered his house going upstairs right to his parents room, his mother then sees him and was about to scream when she sees the ax, but Gabriel put a hand on her mouth and dismembered her then came the turn of his father, after killing his parents he was going to his sister's room and killed them in the morning the people of the village who didn't heard from the family decide to go to the house. Its when they sees what happen Gabriel was covered in blood and dragged the dismembered bodies of his family outside his house, the people of the village got very angry and wanted to teach Gabriel a lesson, they then attacked him and beat him just before taking the same ax that he used to cut off his mouth and nose and leaving him for dead.

    Of course that day he became an evil spirit who will kill anyone in his way, he still has the ax on his right hand and he is, of course, looking for victims who will cross his way.

    "Why didn't you tell me?"I say to him, "Because everyone thought that was just a myth while my entire family knew it wasn't a myth," Say my friend as I leave his house and walk in the street to my house I was shocked.

    My family turn right at me looking at me with worry eyes, "What's wrong big brother?"says my sister to me as I'll try to tell them, "Aww come on you know its just a myth he's not real," say my father looking at me as my mother nod, I wanted to insist unfortunately nobody would believe me, I walk into my room thinking that it was just all in my head and I relax on my bed it was almost dinner time when I heard my parents and sister screams, I came out my room to get downstairs when stopping in horror as I discover the dismembered corpse of my family, I heard an evil laughter and sees the boy walking toward me with his ax.

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    • Hi,

      You need to proof read this and correct paragraphs, punctuation and spelling. How are you proof checking this now?

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    • DrBobSmith wrote:
      Hi,

      You need to proof read this and correct paragraphs, punctuation and spelling. How are you proof checking this now?

      Well  I did a bit of pratice ,  I think its  a bit fair,  but i am still praticing  and still  want to improve it, so I am sure it would be great  after I will pratice more again.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote:

      Well  I did a bit of pratice ,  I think its  a bit fair,  but i am still praticing  and still  want to improve it, so I am sure it would be great  after I will pratice more again.

      You made about a dozen basic mistakes in your use of English. These really make it difficult to enjoy the story. We have to stop at so many errors just to figure out what you mean.

      Please read Basic Spell and Grammar Checking. It is a guide to using free tools on the web.

      Dr. Bob

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    • Spelling and Grammar Issues: This story has a bunch of issues. First off, do not use more than one question mark. There are missing letters and words, and wrongful wording throughout. You should always start a new paragraph when a new person is speaking. You often forget to ad -ed and -s at the end of words. Random capitalizations ("No, Everything fine"). There are a few instances when a period should be a comma. "he was holding an object who look like an axe." an object is not a person, "which" would have been a better word than "who". "that's was a lie" should be "that was a lie."

      Spelling and Grammar Issues Continued: "I didn't want anyone else to panic if I say the truth." "say" should be "said". "Are you crazy young man, its a library here!" remember, its = possessive, it's = it is. "I was a bit pale after tnat." tnat should be "that". "I says in disbelieve,'Because" first off, you forgot the comma after "disbelieve" which in turn should be "disbelief".

      Plot Issues: The story suffers from a lot of tense swaps. First off, why was the main character so agitated over someone looking at him? Then at class he has an outburst just because he sees the same boy holding an axe which makes him sound like an over-reacting lunatic. Then he hears footsteps and makes an even bigger bum of himself by trying to hide and has an outburst over a shadow. Then he goes to his friend who just so happens to have the newspaper clipping explaining the villain lying around which is too much of a coincidence, especially since it is somewhere super accessable as the kitchen. Then the friend says his grandparents told him about (which raises questions as to why they did), but you never go into detail about said story. Then for no reason the main character's family randomly shows up just for the sake of being killed. Then you end the story with the "I'm dead" cliche which never works in any story. Overall, the plot is pretty dull and lacks rhyme or reason.

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    • NedWolfkin wrote:
      Spelling and Grammar Issues: This story has a bunch of issues. First off, do not use more than one question mark. There are missing letters and words, and wrongful wording throughout. You should always start a new paragraph when a new person is speaking. You often forget to ad -ed and -s at the end of words. Random capitalizations ("No, Everything fine"). There are a few instances when a period should be a comma. "he was holding an object who look like an axe." an object is not a person, "which" would have been a better word than "who". "that's was a lie" should be "that was a lie."

      Spelling and Grammar Issues Continued: "I didn't want anyone else to panic if I say the truth." "say" should be "said". "Are you crazy young man, its a library here!" remember, its = possessive, it's = it is. "I was a bit pale after tnat." tnat should be "that". "I says in disbelieve,'Because" first off, you forgot the comma after "disbelieve" which in turn should be "disbelief".

      Plot Issues: The story suffers from a lot of tense swaps. First off, why was the main character so agitated over someone looking at him? Then at class he has an outburst just because he sees the same boy holding an axe which makes him sound like an over-reacting lunatic. Then he hears footsteps and makes an even bigger bum of himself by trying to hide and has an outburst over a shadow. Then he goes to his friend who just so happens to have the newspaper clipping explaining the villain lying around which is too much of a coincidence, especially since it is somewhere super accessable as the kitchen. Then the friend says his grandparents told him about (which raises questions as to why they did), but you never go into detail about said story. Then for no reason the main character's family randomly shows up just for the sake of being killed. Then you end the story with the "I'm dead" cliche which never works in any story. Overall, the plot is pretty dull and lacks rhyme or reason.

      Umm unfortunately its why some killer do some kill for  no reason and for  the details its like i do not knonow hot to explain this

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    • Know* and How*

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    • I used Scriben to see my errors it help a bit, but I am not so sure if its 100% corrected or not because its the problem with autocorrector, because you don't know if they gave you the right words or they just play tricks and just does 80% or 95% or the spelling and grammar correction.

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    • Solonor1987,

      Scribens does some things really well, especially run-on sentence detection. I always use Grammarly for the first pass. It highlights the worst mistakes clearer.

      Dr. Bob

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    • So it mean its good now right.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote:
      So it mean its good now right.

      If you mean the story in its present form, then no, it still has some problems.

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    • Solonor1987
      Solonor1987 removed this reply because:
      ..
      17:35, January 20, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • Solonor1987
      Solonor1987 removed this reply because:
      ...
      17:51, January 20, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • I change some phrases and maybe the end  so I hope it will be good I  think i don't know,. because I don't want it to still find errors , so  I just want to know.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote:
      Umm  I corrected it  Scriben doesn't find any other errors because it tell me  that it doesn't find it anymore ,  you can copy and paste it it will not find errors.

      I'm going to break this down.

      First off, there are still random tense swaps. This especially includes using "says" instead of "said".

      Second, you've neglected to create new paragraphs when there are different characters speaking.

      Third, you still have commas where periods should be.

      Fouth, at various times you forgot spaces after secondary quotation marks (i.e. "'him?'waiting" "Wood Cutter,'he says").

      Fifth, there are quite a few paragraphs that should be cut down a bit.

      Sixth, there are many -s, -ed, and periods missing throughout the story.

      Seventh, the story still has random capitalizations.

      Now for specific problems.

      "classes was boring" should be "classes were boring".

      "What the hell its that?" should be "What the Hell is that?"

      "and disturb the classes" should be "and disturbed the class" (which quite frankly isn't right either because grammar!)

      "A problem mister Hamilton," is missing a question mark.

      "The class then continue" should be "The class then continues"

      "'Are you crazy young man, it's a library here!'I look up to the woman and see that the boy vanished" not only is the dialogue awkwardly worded but you forgot the space after the last quotation mark, and you never describe which woman so therefore "the woman" is ambiguous.

      "looking at me when I got pale" would be better worded if it were "looking at me as I grew pale."

      "I just encounter a boy" should be "I just encountered a boy."

      "he says to me as I look at him, and says" is a redundancy and poorly worded.

      "My friend then take me" should be "My friend then took me"

      "I still look at the boy on the picture" should be "I look at the boy in the picture."

      "helped his father with the chores that he do" is awkwardly worded.

      As for the plot, it is still kind of flat. We have seen many of these get-haunted-then-resolve types many times before. In addition, the story of the Wood Cutter's origins is reminiscent of Jeff the Killer (bullied kid because feared killer who kills his parents).

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    • Unfortunately Scribns doesn't accept space for Waiting and the rest of it, I change some my phrases  and will change says for said , sorry but I think it will maybe not find or still but i don' know.  if it will still perfect  and chores is written the same well if I go on other corrector it will do nothing.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote: Unfortunately Scribns doesn't accept space for Waiting and the rest of it, I change some my phrases  and will change says for said , sorry but I think it will maybe not find or still but i don' know.  if it will still perfect  and chores is written the same well if I go on other corrector it will do nothing.

      This story is not ready to release. This is the score from Grammarly. Look at the number of errors. Everything everyone has said about the quality of this story is true. You need to spend the time to clean it up.

      Errors The Crazy Woodcutter

      Errors, 2019-01-20

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    • Well I think just  see what was srong and is all corrected  I hope, thanks for helping me, same if some corrector might be a bit wrong  I think  Scribens and Grammarly can help me with this same  if sometime  the work its not really 100%, but I still gave a try.

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    • The version you just updated still has many of the same issues.

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    • Is English your first language?

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    • Goddami it   they say the contrary   because they Axe  is a error   they found no other.

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    • NedWolfkin wrote: The version you just updated still has many of the same issues.

      I'm starting to think that English is not there first language.

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      NedWolfkin wrote: The version you just updated still has many of the same issues.

      I'm starting to think that English is not there first language.

      Looking at his talk page history, I think he may be French.

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    • I am French-Scottish-Amerindian actually,  but  some phrases are  like good  , but unfortunately if I go to other corrector it will tell me I don't space,  , but "downstairs" is right,  Grammarly  also says that  the same think as other corrector, everyone  is a errror and put "every one" and other things  I can't just  go there and see what is wrong  with tjhis I  just can't   thing about it anymore, atleast I write Hatchet  , but with it its still won't be able  to be here.

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    • I have no idea what you just said.

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    • Well "Downstairs" its spell like that right.

      "Everyone" Grammarly say its actually "Every one"  

      same if I tried to write Hatchet  it woyuld never be able to be here 

      I can't just return on corrector and do it again I Can't.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote:
      Well "Downstairs" its spell like that right.

      "Everyone" Grammarly say its actually "Every one"  

      same if I tried to write Hatchet  it woyuld never be able to be here 

      I can't just return on corrector and do it again I Can't.

      I have started editing for you and I will post it here for you soon. 

      I highly doubt you can write as this still has many many many errors. 

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    • Its okay thanks  for your help I appreciate it.

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    • Solonor1987 wrote:
      Its okay thanks for  your help I appreciate it.

      no problem. and it's, "Its okay. Thanks for your help. I appreciate it."

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    • Whoops sorry XD

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    • Well the English made it very hard to read. So work on that first.

      As for the story itself, do you know why they keep on retckoning Michael Myers? Cause him being "pure evil" is a concept the screenwriters can play with. Other than that Slasher villains usually have some messed up backstory to them which makes them the bad guy. You need that.

      The whole story reads like its not a real story, who can scream in class without getting kicked out? nobody. Make the story imitate real life. Make it seem like something that could happen

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    • That's why it call fictional  its not real life its just character,  do you imagine  someone scream in class I do that young and I almost  got kicked out.

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    • EmpyrealInvective
      EmpyrealInvective removed this reply because:
      emoji =/= criticism
      17:37, January 21, 2019
      This reply has been removed
    • Solonor1987 wrote:
      That's why it call fictional  its not real life its just character,  do you imagine  someone scream in class I do that young and I almost  got kicked out.

      I think Bloody has a point. Just because it is fiction doesn't mean you have to go off the wall with it. Realism usually helps improve a story, especially when the subject is horror.

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    • Well umm you never watch horror movie they do scream  specially on  Nightmare from Elm Street.

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    • Right now, the biggest issue is definitely the English language usage. Bloody Spaghetti said it. Ned Wolfkin said it.

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    • DrBobSmith wrote:
      Right now, the biggest issue is definitely the English language usage. Bloody Spaghetti said it. Ned Wolfkin said it.

      Agree, agree, agree! Right now the focus should be on the trainwreck of the English language present in this story, then we can worry about plot issues.

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    • Well  will have some help , if  the person who said  that he can help me with my my errors doesn't gave up.

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    • What you should do is write it in your native tongue and then translate it to English. Making my head hurt trying to understand this. 🤣

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    • A FANDOM user
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