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  • “You probably won’t believe what I’m going to tell you but it’s all true”.

    “This is starting cliché”.

    “That’s what you were thinking not me”.

    “What if I told you there are no words here and you are making this up as you go”.

    “I guess I should tell you my name”.

    “Except I don’t have a name”.

    “As said before none of these words are even here”.

    “You insane for reading this when there is nothing here”.

    “I suppose you need entertainment to keep you sane”.

    “That just makes you more insane”.

    “Here you are stating at a paper, seeing words that aren’t here voices that don’t exist.”

    “Someone is coming straighten up.”

    “Why did I do that”?

    “Who are you talking to”?

    “No one”?

    “Why am I answering myself”?

    “You are insane Robert”?

    “The words they are right there, I SEE THEM I’m not insane”.

    “Why are you telling yourself this”?

    “Why am I telling myself this”?

    “You are alone”.

    “I don’t want to be alone”.

    “Will you be my friend”?

    “I’ve already been your friend Robert”.

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    • I can't figure out what's going on. That much straight back and forth dialogue with no orientation to anything is really confusing.

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    • You just gave me an idea to be honest... Hopefully I remember it the next time I write a story. 

      Anyway, you would have to give it more meat for this to be anything and you'd have to improve your monologuing here.

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    • This might just be me personally, but I'd imagine an insane man wouldn't call themselves insane. I don't even think the voices would call them insane. I imagine a genuinely insane person would basically just be irrationality at it's peak (beliefs, concepts, etc) and wouldn't make much sense to other people, hence being labled as insane but in their pov you'd probably be the insane one. I also think the voices in their head could line up with what they believe in, such as maybe a voice of a being they believe in or a higher power, this can make the dialouge between the two make more sense and create a more interesting story because as of now, not much of it makes sense.

      TL;DR Makes little sense, you may say "But that's the point!" but this is a story not real life, you need to make it make sense or have at least some sort of point because right now, it's just random things being said with a man arguing he's not insane which is sort of an insane person trope.

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    • BloodySpghetti wrote:
      You just gave me an idea to be honest... Hopefully I remember it the next time I write a story. 

      Anyway, you would have to give it more meat for this to be anything and you'd have to improve your monologuing here.

      of came to me and I just wrote it I wasn't sure what to do with it.

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    • Badonkadonkus wrote:
      This might just be me personally, but I'd imagine an insane man wouldn't call themselves insane. I don't even think the voices would call them insane. I imagine a genuinely insane person would basically just be irrationality at it's peak (beliefs, concepts, etc) and wouldn't make much sense to other people, hence being labled as insane but in their pov you'd probably be the insane one.

      I also think the voices in their head could line up with what they believe in, such as maybe a voice of a being they believe in or a higher power, this can make the dialouge between the two make more sense and create a more interesting story because as of now, not much of it makes sense.

      TL;DR Makes little sense, you may say "But that's the point!" but this is a story not real life, you need to make it make sense or have at least some sort of point because right now, it's just random things being said with a man arguing he's not insane which is sort of an insane person trope.

      Thanks but i wasn't sure what to do wiht it really I just kind of wrote it.

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    • Simon Slaughters wrote:
      BloodySpghetti wrote:
      You just gave me an idea to be honest... Hopefully I remember it the next time I write a story. 

      Anyway, you would have to give it more meat for this to be anything and you'd have to improve your monologuing here.

      of came to me and I just wrote it I wasn't sure what to do with it.

      I see 

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    • I see where you are going with this. I like it. There was a story I narrated about a month or so ago that was set up like this called "Withdrawals" I liked it.

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    • A FANDOM user
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