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  • I’m quite embarrassed to say this but the radio doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I was fine with it before, but that was until I found a station that gives me chills to this day. It actually wasn’t too long ago about 4 months ago I think. I was driving from visiting my parents in Alabama like I do every year. On my way back to Florida, I decided to switch the station. It was dark and no one was really on the road, I looked over at the time 2:35 am. I came to the decision that I should just go to the nearest hotel or motel I see.

    I found a hotel and got a room, “I’ll continue in the morning,” I whispered softly to myself. I laid down on the bed, but I couldn’t go to sleep. I grabbed my phone I had placed on my dresser “no Wi-Fi,” I sighed I noticed a small radio on the table. I sat up to grab the radio “maybe I can find some calm music to listen to." I turned the stations rock, pop, rap, country more country. Wait, some classical stuff “nice,” I whispered to myself I sat the radio down and laid back down. It continued to play I was just falling asleep right then I heard a voice, but it wasn’t a usual loud radio voice it was deep calm and soft. I was going to turn it, but I didn’t I laid there and listened.

    “Hello night dwellers, and welcome to 100.6 the Abyss.”

    “We have some very interesting topics to talk about tonight but a heads up for all of you in certain parts of Alabama heavy storms coming tomorrow.”

    “Looks like two school shooting have happened in the past month and it was said the shooter was caught, too bad I was really hoping he would escape and I know I’m know I’m not the only one”.

    He gave a slight chuckle and continued, but I was stuck on what he said “hoping he would escape” I thought to myself “did I hear that right.

    “I” there was a short pause, but I don’t want to go to prison I’m only 14 I don’t know what to do I forgot the rules” the kid was terrified I could tell from his voice “I killed my parents stumbling all over his words.

    “Okay folk’s looks like I’ll be giving the rest of the night to Henry.”

    A man with a rougher voice came on “ok ladies and gentlemen I’ll be taking calls now and we'll start this off with a call from Blake.” “How you doing Blake?” A guy with a shaky voice came on sounding much like a kid or a teenager but it was hard to tell.

    “I wanted to say first off I’ve been listening to this show for some time I’m big fan, but I need help man”.

    “What would you need help with today”?

    Henry asked in calm rough voice. “I” there was a short pause, but I don’t want to go to prison I’m only 14 I don’t know what to do I forgot the rules” the kid was terrified I could tell from his voice “I killed my parents stumbling all over his words.

    “Okay, I see” Henry said with a pause, “okay, so here’s what you do remember the three rules First off don’t panic it’s your first kill I you must not get nervous second I hoped you wore gloves because you know have to dis-.”

    I don’t remember the rest of what he said because I was lost with what, was already happening, was this man really giving this kid advice on how to kill." I just couldn’t believe it. To make it even scarier he sounded like a younger me.

    I lie back down in the bed and fall asleep, awaking the next morning to the sound of rain “well I still have to get home,” I mumbled to myself I put on my jacket and proceed to walk out of the hotel I get to the front give the keys to the receptionist.

    Before I walked away I had decided to ask him a question “have you heard of a station called 100.6 The Abyss” he looked at me with a confused looked and said “no I haven’t I’m sorry.” With that I had left and went to my car to continue my drive to Miami.

    It soon started to grow dark again, and I realized I had to stop once more in Florida before I got to Miami. This time it was a motel it was pretty clean and I had got a room for that night and laid on the bed.

    The strange thing is I couldn’t sleep that radio station bothered me I looked in my bag and there was the small radio I took. I took it out of my bag “they won’t miss it,” I mumbled to myself and switched it to the station 100.6. I remember there being nothing but static, so I waited and just before falling asleep with my eyes feeling very heavy the classical music came on. I had looked over at the time 3:00 am at that time I heard a loud thud outside. I stood up and went to the curtains and peeked out of the window.

    It was no longer raining, but I can clearly see a man stumbling out of one of the motel doors walking to what I assume is his car at that moment another car door opened and out had stepped a woman. She was clearly screaming at the man from what I could barely hear.

    The man paid no attention to the woman while she took something out of her purse and jumped on the man. I saw the man and woman fall but only one came back up and that was the woman. She turned her head to see if anybody saw and our eyes locked. I quickly closed the curtains and went back to lie down, at that time I heard classical music playing I looked at the time 3:30 am.

    “Hello night dwellers, and welcome to 100.6 The Abyss today I’ll be taking over today because Henry wasn’t feeling so well.

    “We have a caller who has been dying to be on the show tonight she’s told something amazing that all you would love to hear I’m sure.

    “Hello,” a woman was on the phone she sounded very hysterical rambling on and on not understanding a word she is saying, she was almost sounding just like my dead wife. When the man then says in a very deep angry tone can you please shut- “He stopped himself and sighed and then changing back to his original tone.

    “Can you please reword what you are trying to say the woman continued “I stabbed my boyfriend and I think somebody saw me what do I do”.

    “Here’s what you do” the paused for less than 5 second then continued dispose of your boyfriends body first then you’re going to have to silently deal with the watcher.”

    At that moment I turned off the radio my heart beating fast my palms were sweaty “oh crap” I mumbled to myself I rubbed my hand together I peek out of the window she’s walking this way “oh crap,” I angrily say out loud.

    I peeked out of the window again, and she wasn’t there. I knew she was coming my way, so I looked around the room to grab something, anything to protect myself from this woman.

    A convenient short metal pole was under the bed, I grabbed it and hid behind the door. I was not going to just die standing there unarmed I had to fight back if I were to stay alive.

    I thought of the radio station “I’m definitely turning it into the police.” I put my ear to the door and listened, nothing was there for some time until the clicking of shoes were heard coming down the hall. I decided to quietly move to the closet “it’s safe there,” I thought to myself as I waited for the knock. In mid thought the knocks that I waited for came. Knock-Knock-knock, they had gotten harder with each minute of my not answering.

    “I know you're in there” the woman voice came through the door as I heard the door knob rattle. Within seconds the door had opened and through a crack in the closet I was hiding in I saw the mad woman holding a knife looking around for me. She threw back the curtains furiously, she then had looked under the bed and finally looking straight at the closet door.

    I don’t know how to explain it but when see looked at me there was pure evil in her eyes and I could have sworn I saw a large shadow behind her. She slowly walked forward with what seemed like a butcher’s knife in her hand. I gripped my pole I held in hand and as she flung opened the doors I smash the pole right into her side as if I hit a home run in a baseball game. Possibly ending her life but saving mine looking at her body on the now blood stained floor and the dark presence she had seemed to leave her.

    To make a long story somewhat shorter I called the police and told them everything that happened from the radio station to the woman minus the dark presence I felt. The woman wasn’t dead and only had minor abdominal injuries I was there when the police questioned her but she kept insisting she remembered nothing that had happened but did remember the stationed. She started crying for her boyfriend and didn’t recall stabbing him saying she loved him too much to do such a thing. The strange thing is she called him a name something only my wife used to call me. Her boyfriend also wasn’t dead only minor stab wounds.

    The police couldn't find anything on the radio station and said it didn’t exist. So I did what anyone else would do, I took to the internet. Turns out 100.6 The Abyss goes by another name “The Devil’s Radio” and whoever listens to it something bad is bound to happen to them. The few people that had an experience it also hear what seemed like familiar voices to them.

    I could have written about this as soon as it happened but I didn’t because nothing seemed to affect me and it seemed all folk lore. I am now writing about this because I’ve been waking up with blood on my hands or stained on my clothes in the morning. I also never could remember what happened that night for the blood to be there. I’m sure this can’t be a coincidence. Can it?

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    • I can't see what you wrote.

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:
      I can't see what you wrote.

      He wrote:

      I’m quite embarrassed to say this but the radio doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I was fine with it before but that was until I found a station that gives me chills to this day. It actually wasn’t too long ago about 4 months ago I think. I was driving from visiting my parents in Alabama like I do every year. On my way back to Florida I decided to switch  the station. It was dark and no one was really on the road ,I looked over at the time 2:35am. I came to the decision that I should just go to the nearest hotel or motel I see.



      I found a hotel and got a room “I’ll continue in the morning” I whispered softly to myself. I laid down on the bed, but I couldn’t go to sleep. I grabbed my phone I had placed on my dresser “no Wi-Fi” I sighed I noticed a small radio on the table. I sat up to grab the radio“maybe I can find some calm music to listen to”                                                                   



      I turned the stations rock, pop, rap, country more country. Wait some classical stuff “nice” I whispered to myself I sat the radio down and laid back down. It continued to play I was just falling asleep right then I heard a voice, but it wasn’t a usual loud radio voice it was deep calm and soft. I was going to turn it but I didn’t I laid there and listened.



      “Hello night dwellers and welcome to 100.6 the Abyss”. “We have some very interesting topics to talk about tonight but a heads up for all of you in certain parts of Alabama heavy storms coming tomorrow”. “Looks like two school shooting have happened in the past month and it was said the shooter was caught, too bad I was really hoping he would escape and I know I’m know I’m not the only one”.                                                                                                         



      He gave a slight chuckle and continued but I was stuck on what he said “hoping he would escape” I thought to myself “did I hear that right” I snapped back out of my thoughts to tune back in. “Okay folks looks like I’ll be giving the rest of the night to Henry”. A man with a more rougher voice came on “ok ladies and gentlemen I’ll be taking calls now and we'll start this off with a call from Blake.” “How you doing Blake?” A guy with a shaky voice came on sounding much like a kid or a teenager but it was hard to tell.



      “I wanted to say first off I’ve been listening to this show for some time I’m big fan, but I need help man”. “What would you need help with today”? Henry asked in calm rough voice. “I” there was a short pausts but I don’t want to go to prison I’m only 14 I don’t know what to do I forgot the rules” the kid was terrified I could tell from his voice “I killed my parents stumbling all over his words. “Okay I see” Henry said with a pause, “okay, so here’s what you do remember the three rules First off don’t panic it’s your first kill I you must not get nervous second I hoped you wore gloves because you know have to dis-”.



      I don’t remember the rest of what he said because I was lost with what was already happening “was this man really giving this kid advice on how to kill” I just couldn’t believe it.




      I lie back down in the bed and fall asleep, awaking the next morning to the sound of rain “well I still have to get home” I mumbled to myself I put on my jacket and proceed to walk out of the hotel I get to the front give the keys to the receptionist. Before I walked away I had decided to ask him a question “have you heard of a station called 100.6 The Abyss” he looked at me with a confused looked and said “no I haven’t i’m sorry”. With that I had left and went to my car to continue my drive to Miami.



      It soon started to grow dark again and I realized I had to stop ounce more in Florida before I got to Miami. This time it was a motel it was pretty clean andI had got a room for that night and laid on the bed. The strange thing is I couldn’t sleep that radio station bothered me I looked in my bag and there was the small radio I took. I took it out of my bag “they won’t miss it” I mumbled to myself and switched it to the station 100.6.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

      I remember there being nothing but static so I waited and just before falling asleep with my eyes feeling very heavy the classical music came on. I had looked over at the time 3:00am at that time i heard a loud thud outside. I stood up and went to the curtains and peeked out of the window.  



      It was no longer raining but  I can clearly see a man stumbling out of one of the motel doors walking to what I assume is his car at that moment another car door opened and out had stepped a woman. She was clearly screaming at the man from what I could barely hear.



      The man paid no attention to the woman while she took something out of her purse and jumped on the man. I saw the man and woman fall but only one came back up and that was the woman. She turned her head to see if anybody saw and our eyes locked. I quickly closed the curtains and went back to lie down, at that time I heard classical music playing I looked at the time 3:30am.



      “Hello night dwellers, and welcome to 100.6 The Abyss today I’ll be taking over today because Henry wasn’t feeling so well.   



      We have an caller who has been dying to be on the show tonight she’s told something amazing that all you would love to hear I’m sure. “Hello” a woman was on the phone she sounded very hysterical rambling on and on not understanding a word she is saying when the man then say in a very deep angry tone can you please shut-“He stopped himself and sighed and then changing back to his original tone. “Can you please reword what you are trying to say the woman continued “I stabbed my boyfriend and I think somebody saw me what do I do”.




      “Here’s what you do” the paused for less than 5 second then continued dispose of your boyfriends body first then you’re going to have to silently deal with the watcher”.  At that moment I turned off the radio my heart beating fast my palms were sweaty “oh crap” I mumbled to myself I rubbed my hand together I peek out of the window she’s walking this way “oh crap” I angrily say out loud. I peek out of the window again and she wasn’t there. I knew she was coming my way so I looked around the room to grab something, anything to protect myself from this woman.



      A convenient short metal pole was under the bed, I grabbed it and hid behind my door. I was not going to just die standing there unarmed I had to fight back if I where to stay alive. I thought of the radio station “I’m definitely turning it into the police”. I put my ear to the door and listened nothing was there for sometime until the clicking of shoes were heard coming down the hall. I decided to quietly move to the closet “it’s safe there” I thought to myself as I waited for the knock. In mid thought the knocks that I waited for came. Knock -Knock -knock, they had gotten harder with each minute of my not answering. “I know you're in there” the woman voice came through the door as i heard the door knob rattle.  Within seconds the door had opened and through a crack in the closet I was hiding in I saw the mad woman holding a knife looking around for me. She threw back the curtains furiously, she then had looked under the bed and finally looking straight at the closet door.



      I don’t know how to explain it but when see look at me there was pure evil in her eyes and I could have sworn I saw a large shadow behind her. She slowly walked forward with what seemed like a butcher knife in her hand. I gripped my pole I held in hand and as she flung opened the doors I smash the pole right into her side as if I hit a homerun in a baseball game. Possibly ending her life but saving mine looking at her body on the now blood stained floor the dark presence she had seemed to leave her.



      To make a long story somewhat shorter I called the police and told them everything that happened from the radio station to the woman minus the dark presence I felt. The woman wasn’t dead and only had minor abdominal injuries I was there when the police questioned her but she kept insisting she remember nothing that had happened but did remember the stationed. She started crying that her boyfriend was dead and didn’t recall stabbing him. He also wasn’t dead only minor stab wounds.



      The police couldn't find anything on the radio station and  said it didn’t exist. So I did what anyone else would do, I took to the internet. Turns out 100.6 The Abyss goes by another name “The Devil’s Radio” and whoever listens to it something bad is bound to happen to them.



      I could have written about this as soon as it happened but I didn’t because nothing seemed to affect me and it seemed all folk lore. I am now writing about this because I’ve been waking up with blood on my hands or stained on my clothes in the morning. I also never could what happened that night. I’m sure this can’t be a coincidence. Can it?

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    • I can't read it bro.

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    • Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating. Then came "a conviniently placed metal rod" that made me really suspect this being a joke more than anything. 

      The English is terrible, you have to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. The plot is silly, follows a bad structure of someone coming across something awful, and then by chance of plot powers getting involved without wanting to be.

      The whole idea of a ghost radio show that encourages people to murder is silly... because the spike in murders would kill the operation soon enough. Having a fan base means they are there for a while, which is unlikely, also someone might snitch... as was the case with Armin Meiwes who one time managed to get a willing victim to be cannibalized through an internet add, and the second time was reported to authorities in Germany.

      Also, seeing a woman with a knife when you have a weapon and you're an adult dude... yeee... not so scary... 

      Also engaging the audience in such a terrible storyline as if it were real wouldn't make people believe you, it's just not a good work of fiction and we've probably read a few similar to this..

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    • BloodySpghetti wrote:
      Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating. Then came "a conviniently placed metal rod" that made me really suspect this being a joke more than anything. 

      The English is terrible, you have to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. The plot is silly, follows a bad structure of someone coming across something awful, and then by chance of plot powers getting involved without wanting to be.

      The whole idea of a ghost radio show that encourages people to murder is silly... because the spike in murders would kill the operation soon enough. Having a fan base means they are there for a while, which is unlikely, also someone might snitch... as was the case with Armin Meiwes who one time managed to get a willing victim to be cannibalized through an internet add, and the second time was reported to authorities in Germany.

      Also, seeing a woman with a knife when you have a weapon and you're an adult dude... yeee... not so scary... 

      Also engaging the audience in such a terrible storyline as if it were real wouldn't make people believe you, it's just not a good work of fiction and we've probably read a few similar to this..

      Oh yeah man, thanks for the criticism on my story.

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    • Ok so, Simon Slaughters name is at the top of this entry but ShadowFlash thanks Bloody for the review, does that mean he has two accounts? I thought that was against the rules.

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    • L0CKED334 wrote:
      Ok so, Simon Slaughters name is at the top of this entry but ShadowFlash thanks Bloody for the review, does that mean he has two accounts? I thought that was against the rules.

      What do you mean? I don't have two accounts. Well, I did but the other account was forgotton.

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    • Busted. LOL

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:
      Busted. LOL
      Heh. But I did say that my other account was forgotton.
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    • ShadowFlash83 wrote:

      NoTimeCreepy wrote:
      Busted. LOL
      Heh. But I did say that my other account was forgotton.

      What do you mean it's forgotten. You posted the story 10 hours ago under Simon Slaughters then respond under ShadowFlash83. Are you saying you don't want the other name?

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    • L0CKED334 wrote:
      Ok so, Simon Slaughters name is at the top of this entry but ShadowFlash thanks Bloody for the review, does that mean he has two accounts? I thought that was against the rules.

      Like NoTimeCreepy said, "Busted."

      Please be careful L0CKED, a few months ago (I think you may have even seen it) a user pretended to be new, and later accidentally let it slip that they created a new account to get a fresh start and I called them out for it. Underscorre (I think it was, if not sorry!) pretty much harangued me about it.

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    • NedWolfkin wrote:
      L0CKED334 wrote:
      Ok so, Simon Slaughters name is at the top of this entry but ShadowFlash thanks Bloody for the review, does that mean he has two accounts? I thought that was against the rules.
      Like NoTimeCreepy said, "Busted."

      Please be careful L0CKED, a few months ago (I think you may have even seen it) a user pretended to be new, and later accidentally let it slip that they created a new account to get a fresh start and I called them out for it. Underscorre (I think it was, if not sorry!) pretty much harangued me about it.

      I don't know what your talking about me and him are tottaly different.

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    • Ok, just odd that he made that comment then. No worries.

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    • Simon Slaughters
      Simon Slaughters removed this reply because:
      Cause I want to.
      00:24, November 22, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • Simon Slaughters
      Simon Slaughters removed this reply because:
      I need to.
      00:25, November 22, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • BloodySpghetti wrote:
      Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating. Then came "a conviniently placed metal rod" that made me really suspect this being a joke more than anything. 

      The English is terrible, you have to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. The plot is silly, follows a bad structure of someone coming across something awful, and then by chance of plot powers getting involved without wanting to be.

      The whole idea of a ghost radio show that encourages people to murder is silly... because the spike in murders would kill the operation soon enough. Having a fan base means they are there for a while, which is unlikely, also someone might snitch... as was the case with Armin Meiwes who one time managed to get a willing victim to be cannibalized through an internet add, and the second time was reported to authorities in Germany.

      Also, seeing a woman with a knife when you have a weapon and you're an adult dude... yeee... not so scary... 

      Also engaging the audience in such a terrible storyline as if it were real wouldn't make people believe you, it's just not a good work of fiction and we've probably read a few similar to this..

      I have a few things to say. You starting off with "Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating" makes me think you thought it was a troll. Second off there is no powers in this story no one has powers. Second off it doesn't encourage people to murder as said in the story it's "The Devil's radio" the devil is known to trick people whos to say the callers where even real. I actually before putting it on here had multiple people read it and went through many revises and I've had people love the story saying it was different but also similar for a change. I have meassage to prove it I will change the dialoge. If you didn't grab what was happening in this story it is never said that the radio exist or doesn't exist I left that up to the reader in your case you said it's not believeable but in other cases someone may actually wonder if it's real. I was going to add actual places but I didn't for certain reasons. I'd like to know what makes this such a "terrible storyline" so I can see if I would "fix" it or not. Last the grammer is fixed just reread it that was my fault I have a problem with uploading things and it messes up my story.  Some part where also left out that was also added into this story like I said reread it.

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      ShadowFlash83 wrote:

      NoTimeCreepy wrote:
      Busted. LOL
      Heh. But I did say that my other account was forgotton.

      What do you mean it's forgotten. You posted the story 10 hours ago under Simon Slaughters then respond under ShadowFlash83. Are you saying you don't want the other name?

      Nope. I don't like the name Shea Racewood. That was my original account name.

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    • Simon Slaughters,

      http://www.grammarly.com - use it. You have dozens of grammar, punctuation and spelling errors. Grammarly is right a good 95% of the time. Revise your story until it pretty well passes without errors.

      http://www.scribens.com - check your story with this next. You have fourteen run on sentences. Fix them.

      Those are both FREE web sites. Yes, 100% free, as in you don't have to pay a nickel.

      Go back and fix the story to the point where it passes the free mode of http://www.grammarly.com and no longer shows sentence errors in http://www.scribens.com. Don't post it on the main board. You have a lot more work to do so it won't be marked for deletion.

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    • DrBobSmith wrote:
      Simon Slaughters,

      http://www.grammarly.com - use it. You have dozens of grammar, punctuation and spelling errors. Grammarly is right a good 95% of the time. Revise your story until it pretty well passes without errors.

      http://www.scribens.com - check your story with this next. You have fourteen run on sentences. Fix them.

      Those are both FREE web sites. Yes, 100% free, as in you don't have to pay a nickel.

      Go back and fix the story to the point where it passes the free mode of http://www.grammarly.com and no longer shows sentence errors in http://www.scribens.com. Don't post it on the main board. You have a lot more work to do so it won't be marked for deletion.

      will do ty im return tommorrow

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    • Simon Slaughters wrote:

      I don't know what your talking about me and him are tottaly different.

      In that case, I am terribly sorry!

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    • NedWolfkin wrote:

      Simon Slaughters wrote:

      I don't know what your talking about me and him are tottaly different.

      In that case, I am terribly sorry!

      I'm not. Why would he answer Thank you on his story on the post under a different name. Makes no sense. Either way its been brought to a higher power. Up to them.

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      I'm not. Why would he answer Thank you on his story on the post under a different name. Makes no sense.

      Good point. I'm still going to give him the benefit of the doubt, though.

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    • Simon Slaughters wrote:
      BloodySpghetti wrote:
      Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating. Then came "a conviniently placed metal rod" that made me really suspect this being a joke more than anything. 

      The English is terrible, you have to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. The plot is silly, follows a bad structure of someone coming across something awful, and then by chance of plot powers getting involved without wanting to be.

      The whole idea of a ghost radio show that encourages people to murder is silly... because the spike in murders would kill the operation soon enough. Having a fan base means they are there for a while, which is unlikely, also someone might snitch... as was the case with Armin Meiwes who one time managed to get a willing victim to be cannibalized through an internet add, and the second time was reported to authorities in Germany.

      Also, seeing a woman with a knife when you have a weapon and you're an adult dude... yeee... not so scary... 

      Also engaging the audience in such a terrible storyline as if it were real wouldn't make people believe you, it's just not a good work of fiction and we've probably read a few similar to this..

      I have a few things to say. You starting off with "Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating" makes me think you thought it was a troll. Second off there is no powers in this story no one has powers. Second off it doesn't encourage people to murder as said in the story it's "The Devil's radio" the devil is known to trick people whos to say the callers where even real. I actually before putting it on here had multiple people read it and went through many revises and I've had people love the story saying it was different but also similar for a change. I have meassage to prove it I will change the dialoge. If you didn't grab what was happening in this story it is never said that the radio exist or doesn't exist I left that up to the reader in your case you said it's not believeable but in other cases someone may actually wonder if it's real. I was going to add actual places but I didn't for certain reasons. I'd like to know what makes this such a "terrible storyline" so I can see if I would "fix" it or not. Last the grammer is fixed just reread it that was my fault I have a problem with uploading things and it messes up my story.  Some part where also left out that was also added into this story like I said reread it.

      Where am I supposed to figure out something supernatural is possibly happening? Crazier shit than this happened in real life.

      Like I've said, a person coming across something bad, get interested in it (morbidly) and following it only for them to randomly and awfully conviently get involved is a really really corny and boring way to do things around here. Also, just because the ending is kind of cryptic doesn't mean jack. 

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    • NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      NedWolfkin wrote:

      Simon Slaughters wrote:

      I don't know what your talking about me and him are tottaly different.

      In that case, I am terribly sorry!

      I'm not. Why would he answer Thank you on his story on the post under a different name. Makes no sense. Either way its been brought to a higher power. Up to them.

      Are you talking about me? If so, than I had to comment to him on this post because i'm too dumb to know he had a talk page! 

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    • NedWolfkin wrote:
      NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      I'm not. Why would he answer Thank you on his story on the post under a different name. Makes no sense.

      Good point.

      I'm still going to give him the benefit of the doubt, though.

      Dude Ive talked to you before just check my ip and you'll know

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    • Simon Slaughters wrote:
      NedWolfkin wrote:
      NoTimeCreepy wrote:

      I'm not. Why would he answer Thank you on his story on the post under a different name. Makes no sense.

      Good point.

      I'm still going to give him the benefit of the doubt, though.

      Dude Ive talked to you before just check my ip and you'll know

      Simply put, giving you the benefit of the doubt means I believe you, and trust what you're saying is true.

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    • Simon Slaughters,

      This story would be Marked for Review based on just your use of English.

      Your story is better than 84% of material submitted to Grammarly, which doesn't say much. You have sixteen grammar errors that it picked up, as well as four punctuation errors and six spelling errors. You also have many "Premium alerts errors."

      Grammarly

      Simon Slaughter's current story errors

      You also have fifteen run-on sentences. These are very tough to understand. Also note that you repeat "I" 138 times. That means about one word in thirteen is "I." This is very boring writing.

      Scribens

      www.scribens.com

      ProWritingAid works in free mode only on the first 500 words. I posted a few paragraphs in and it found problems. This is the summary, but it will detail your issues line by line so you can fix them. In short, it found many errors.

      ProWritingAid01

      ProWritingAId

      Fixing these isn't "picky." It's a requirement, and should be done BEFORE submitting a story to the Writer's Workshop. The last story I submitted to the Wiki had two Grammarly "Word Choice" premium alerts. No draft submitted to the Writer's Workshop had more errors than three word choices on that one. That's typical. Often I get the story completely clean - and then the people here are kind enough to tell me all the plot, physical reality, dialogue, etc. errors that I make.

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    • DrBobSmith wrote:
      Simon Slaughters,

      This story would be Marked for Review based on just your use of English.

      Your story is better than 84% of material submitted to Grammarly, which doesn't say much. You have sixteen grammar errors that it picked up, as well as four punctuation errors and six spelling errors. You also have many "Premium alerts errors."

      Grammarly

      Simon Slaughter's current story errors

      You also have fifteen run-on sentences. These are very tough to understand. Also note that you repeat "I" 138 times. That means about one word in thirteen is "I." This is very boring writing.

      Scribens

      www.scribens.com

      ProWritingAid works in free mode only on the first 500 words. I posted a few paragraphs in and it found problems. This is the summary, but it will detail your issues line by line so you can fix them. In short, it found many errors.

      ProWritingAid01

      ProWritingAId

      Fixing these isn't "picky." It's a requirement, and should be done BEFORE submitting a story to the Writer's Workshop. The last story I submitted to the Wiki had two Grammarly "Word Choice" premium alerts. No draft submitted to the Writer's Workshop had more errors than three word choices on that one. That's typical. Often I get the story completely clean - and then the people here are kind enough to tell me all the plot, physical reality, dialogue, etc. errors that I make.

      Some words they said to fix would make the wording akward and when i did fix them it only made my story gramicaly wore than before. I would have to go back and forth changing the same word I didn't want to play that game so I skipped over some words. I will deal with the run on sentences though.

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    • Simon Slaughters wrote:

      Some words they said to fix would make the wording akward and when i did fix them it only made my story gramicaly wore than before. I would have to go back and forth changing the same word I didn't want to play that game so I skipped over some words. I will deal with the run on sentences though.

      Simon Slaughters,

      When you have dueling error detection programs, start off with reading the story out loud to yourself. When you hit an awkward spot, fix it. Keep on doing this until there are no awkward spots.

      Then go through the story again, sentence by sentence and phrase by phrase. Ask yourself with each word and action if it really is necessary. If it isn't, delete it. Be merciless in editing. You will have a leaner core.

      When you do use the on line tools to check the resulting story, look at each flagged section to see if it is actually necessary. So often, it isn't. Problem solved, and the resulting story is much tighter.

      As for which tool to use, I really do use them all. I know they do conflict. That's why I trust some more than others. If Grammarly free mode shows an error, I listen. More than 98% of the time, it is right. If Scribens says the sentence is too long, it always is too long.

      Do you ever deliberately break the rules? Occasionally, but it is rare. I use deliberately breaking the rules of grammar OCCASIONALLY, like omitting "is/am/are" in a sentence that a Slavic person who speaks broken English might say. I used it one time in one story.

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    • A FANDOM user
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