After another sleepless night, I decided to take a walk. I sat up in bed, rubbed my eyes, and glanced at my clock. The LED display read 4:47 AM. I pulled myself from my bed and shambled my way to my window. I threw it open to gauge the temperature. The cool, refreshing October air woke me up instantly. At almost the same moment, I felt something brush against the back of my leg.
I reached down to pet my cat, Max. He meowed contently and padded softly out of my room. That was odd, because I always sleep with my door shut. Well, I should say that I always lay in my bed with my door shut.
I didn’t really think much of it. Although now that I think back on that night, I wish I had taken that warning much more seriously. Anyways, I grabbed a hoodie from my closet, and threw some sweatpants over my pajama pants. I started to leave my room, and I took my first step out of my room.
My window creaked ever so slightly and as I turned to confront the noise, I swear I saw my window begin to close, but half of a moment later, it stopped closing as if it were a pickpocket getting caught in the act. Again, I regarded this incident with little warning. Oh, I how I wish I wasn’t so damn OBLIVIOUS! That I wasn’t so stupid!
Excuse me, for this night was simply the worst. I continued to the stairs, and with every step down I began to feel freer. That was also odd, because I wasn’t imprisoned or anything. I got to the ground level and turned to my right. I started to walk to my front door, and it was already unlocked. If I had only paid ATTENTION to minor details I wouldn’t have…
My front door is always dead bolted when I go to sleep. I always check before heading upstairs. I opened the door and was hit by a wave of the October air I love so much. The Walk seemed so perfect, so relieving. It seemed to spite everything my life had stood for at that point.
That feeling didn’t last.As soon as my foot extended past the door frame, I felt empowered, like I had a task to complete. In reality, I was just going on a simple walk. Now that I think about it that was the very beginning of my downfall. As I walked down the road, everything in my peripheral was going by in a blur, as I if were moving at 200 MPH. I didn’t care, I had a task to complete. I had tunnel vision. I focused only on the road in front of me.
I neared the street corner and came to a halt. Even as I was stationary, everything continued to move in a blur around me. It didn’t matter. My god, what did I think I was supposed to do?! I stayed there at the street corner. I stayed there.
For what seemed like 15 minutes, I stayed there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement that was not akin to the Blur. It was… focused. I looked directly at it and I knew. I knew. I needed to go to it.
I felt a very strong, almost primal urge to follow it. I approached it and I was less than ten feet away from it. And to this very moment, this thing…, this creature, this DEMON, is one of the many things from that night that frightened me to the very roots of my soul.
I didn’t care.
It was pig-like in shape, but going around its body were black and white stripes. As it turned its head towards me, I was shook to my core. It had the head of some humanoid. Its face was devoid of any emotion. Its eyes were two infinite black pits of despair. Its gaze cut right through to my soul.
I didn’t care.
I continued to approach this creature. It took off, and I was not far behind. We ran for about half of a mile into a pasture. As we entered the pasture, it disappeared. I stopped several feet from where it vanished. All around me, everything slowly became darker, as if the moonlight itself was dimming. Eventually, all that was left was total darkness. There was no more of the Blur. For a split second, I was worried.
That second of emotion was instantly crushed. I took a step forward, and on the ground in front of me where the creature had disappeared was a pit. This pit was somehow darker than the darkness surrounding it. The pit matched the very same black intensity of the creature’s eyes.
I knew what to do.
I fell. I let myself fall into that pit. I let myself become completely engulfed by that endless darkness and despair.
I hit bottom. When I woke, I was in hell. I knew it. There were no screams, just agonized moans that filled the air. The souls condemned here were truly experiencing true agony. I rose to my feet and looked around. The Blur had returned. Fire and chains and meat hooks sped past me at impossible speeds. However, a few of the damned souls did not follow this motion. They stayed in place.
One stood out to me in particular. This One was pure and untouched. This One was out of place.
It was her.
I knew what I had to do.
An unstoppable rage consumed all that I was. A path opened up in the Blur that led me to her. I was blind with rage. I ran to her.
She looked up at me, and the mere sight of her face banished my rage.
That only lasted for a minute.
The fury returned to me tenfold. Hell itself was spinning violently around us. I raised my hand and balled it into a fist. I was about to strike her. I was about to empty my rage unto her, when a voice spoke.
The voice seemed to emanate from within me, but yet it came from behind me. I turned to look.
I turned back around.
There she lie. Beaten. Bloody.
I looked at my hands. To my horror, my hands were bruised and bloody. The fury had vanished. I was left with a gut-wrenching mix of guilt and despair. Hell now stood still; not a sound was to be heard. I sank to my knees and I was eaten up by the darkness, my guilt.
I awoke with a pounding headache. My sheets were soaked in sweat. As I reached to turn on my lamp on my nightstand, I knocked over a few beer bottles.
Oh my, another drunken night.
I hopped out of bed, but I slipped in some red puddle.
I fell to the ground and was instantly face-to-face with her.
She was bloody. Beaten.
I looked at my hands.
Bruised and bloody.
I was truly guilty as sin. This isn’t as much of a suicide note as it is an admission of guilt.
See you soon.