This is about a dream that has been bothering me for as long as I can remember.
It never starts the same, the situation is always different, but it's always the same feeling, always as vivid as life.
For the sake of convenience, I will talk about the most recent one.
I was driving to the city to do something, I'm not sure what, slips my mind now that i think about it. But as I pulled in to the parking lot and got out of the car, it was fairly crowded but a usual bright, sunny day.
Then I began to feel very out of place, that feeling you get where everything seems wrong. The people were suddenly different, they began to move in a jerky fashion like an old horror movie trick, but they were going about their business.
Then everything started to change, all the color shifted to grey, except for the people.
They were nowhere to be seen, I was all alone.
Then I noticed that there was nothing at all, just me, and the buildings. I walked into the middle of the road and looked towards the end of the road.
Then in the distance I saw a figure watching me, not moving a muscle, not even breathing. I try to call out to it, but then I realize, there's no sound, at all.
Suddenly the people are back, all still moving in that odd twitching fashion. But they are on their knees with their hands bound behind their back in rows on the sides of the road, forty on each side, the row starting where I was standing, and ending where this strange figure was.
But once I looked up from the bound people, I saw that there were now seven of them. The one in the middle beckoned me to come closer, but I could not move.
Then they began to walk towards me, each bound person they walked past turned to dust, painfully, slowly, making motions of screaming in agony, but not a single sound. It's at this point that I can see them.
They have the basic features of a human body shape, they are flesh colored. But they have no other features. Like unfinished mannequins with human skin.
The middle one puts his hands on his head and begins to open it. Underneath the skin suit is an equally featureless form, but pure black with an effect of what looked like black steam coming off its shoulders.
I felt compelled to touch this creature, to know what it feels like. And as I reach for it, my hand starts to turn grey and decrepit, mummifying right before my eyes, before turning to dust. Then I hear a gunshot and wake up, seeing that symbol as clear as day, before it fades like those shapes you see when you close your eyes after looking into a light.
Update #1: At some point early in 2014 I don't recall exactly when
It's been getting worse, the dreams are more vivid now.
There's something else too, the bound people that appear in every dream no longer appear to be in pain, they sit completely still speak in a hollow tone, always saying the same thing:
"They call without a voice.
They speak without a tongue.
Soon they will be known.
Soon they will take us home."
This has been happening for a week now, but there's more.
Last night when I reached out to touch one it reached back, and spoke in a voice no different from mine:
"Will you be coming home soon?"
When I woke up I didn't see the usual symbol.
I saw the head of the one that spoke, it had eyes now...
Update #2: Two years later
Where I've been isn't important, what I've seen might be.
Shortly after my last update two years ago things got much worse.
It seemed to get better after that last one, the dreams actually stopped for about a month.
In that time I started sorting things out in my own life that I had been neglecting due to my obvious problems with getting proper sleep.
So for three and a half weeks things were fairly normal, or the closest thing to normal I’d ever know.
Then I started dreaming again, at first fairly mundane pleasant things, much like the one I described but without it all going completely off the rails.
However, there was a common theme, whenever there was a group of people in the distance, or just to the side of where I was looking, no matter the size of the group one of them would always be one of those entities I guess we’ll call them for now since I’m really not sure what to call them.
Anyway what to call them is beside the point, but they were different this time, they no longer wore their featureless skins, rather they appeared closer to their “true” appearance as I described previously.
If I were to try and focus on them or get a better look I would suddenly wake up with a vocal response that’s quite hard to describe properly.
Think of what would happen if you were to gasp and scream at the same time and I’d hear it every time, spoken in a whispering voice that seemed impossibly loud and felt like it was being drilled into my skull: ‘not yet but soon’.
This carried on for a good long while and, just like before I got used to it and accepted that this is once again part of my life now.
Oh how I wish it stayed that way, but as my hilariously bad luck would have it this was only the beginning.
In all the thirteen years I’ve been having these dreams, the last one was the worst.
There was no pretense of normality, no façade of a casual adventure in my head the best way to explain what I saw is to tell you exactly what I saw how I saw it.
I open my eyes and I’m in some kind of throne room, desolate, no decorations or banners, nothing empty with a lonely king sitting in his throne.
I approach him, not out of choice, for the first time in a dream I was aware I had no control.
No matter what, in my dreams I had a sense of control, the things I would do, would be things that I would actually do.
Not this time, I wanted to turn back, leave this depressing place, but I went forward anyway compelled by something else, something that wasn’t me.
As I drew closer the old king noticed me, he didn’t seem all that frightening, he just looked old, broken, sick and sad.
It was at this point I noticed his arms and legs were severely broken to such an extent that he looked like a victim of the breaking wheel, a torture method that as far as I know has never been used on a king.
I noticed that where the bones had broken through a familiar black steam was coming from the exposed bones, the steam began to move as if carried by a breeze towards me, surrounding me until it began to form six shapes around me, becoming more solid, turning into those entities.
The old king had changed too, though his shape remained the same with his broken bones and limbs all at odd angles, I realized this is what was different about the one in the crowd from previous dreams.
It was him, this broken thing that filled me with nothing but dread, with eyes not so different from mine.
Not any different at all.
Then, as one they spoke the kings voice being the only one that was different, the voice of a dying man they said:
‘We are free’
‘We are here’
‘As we always were’
I woke in the normal manner, with a breathless scream and my heart trying to hammer its way through my ribcage as if it were trying to escape, as I sat bolt upright I saw him right there at the foot of my bed, the old king in shadow, I could see his face, he was reaching for me, not in a menacing way, but as if offering a hand to help someone who had fallen.
I shut my eyes and recoiled in complete terror, he smiled and vanished.
I don’t have any nightmares anymore.
But I see them when I’m awake.
Every day, out the corner of my eye they’re there.
Make of this what you will, for me it’s just getting me getting this off my chest.
But make no mistake, there are things in this world we can’t explain.
Then again maybe I’ve just lost my mind.
Maybe the stress from certain real world situations has properly broken me.
There’s only one thing I do know for sure:
As they always were.