“You’re worthless and it’s your entire fault why she’s gone,” Amanda said as she stared into her bathroom mirror.
She was in her house and not a single sound was heard other than her rantings of depression. She has been having these talks to herself in the reflection for a week and she was grateful that her dad left the house. The house was all to herself to do what she pleased. She ignored her phone and stayed away from her friends and her boyfriend who were concerned about her.
“It is your entire fault, you know it, I know it,” she said as she quickly opened the drawer at her sides making the items shift around. She looked inside and saw brushes and a few combs next to one another. What she wanted wasn't in there so she looked into her other drawer and found something silver and sharp.
“I’m so sorry…”
She held onto the thin, sharp piece of metal and held it between her thumb and index finger and was about to make a deep cut into her wrist. Tears started to flow down her eyes and land on her wrist as she stood still, like time was just waiting for her to do it.
Amanda kept on thinking about what she was doing and was prepared for the worst. She felt the sharp end of the razor blade on her skin and wanted to push it in deeper, but she just stood there.
The house was quiet and she felt like the world wanted her to leave and never to come back. She looked at herself one more time to see the image that she hated to look at and she froze. She felt her fingers on the razor loosen and lift up from her skin as she widened her eyes.
The mirror showed her, but the thing that caught her attention was when her image was in a different position than the one she was making. The razor was nowhere to be seen in her reflection either. The reflection of herself on the mirror had her arms crossed and looked angry at her.
“After all that work in junior year and school itself, you will be willing to let it all go to waste?” Amanda felt like she was going to accidentally cut herself when she heard the reflection talking to her from the other side.
“Do you really think she would want this for you? To just end your life and give up. I don’t think she would want to see your blood forced out from your body or just no blood at all for that matter.”
Amanda dropped the razor and felt her heart skip a beat as she saw her reflection move her hands at its side when she didn't even move. She wanted to run away, but something kept her there. She didn't feel threatened or scared at herself in the mirror and just continued to listen.
“I thought you were stronger than that, dude. You will regret it if you do this to yourself... Do you want to go down that road? Your dad cares for you, and your friends for that matter want to know that if you are alright.”
Amanda was breathing in quickly, but she calmed herself down and splashed her face with water. She looked back up and saw that the figure was still there and giving her words of confidence.
“People do care and you’re not the only one who is suffering, but are you that weak? I hate it when you call me ugly and that I am worthless when you stare at yourself in the mirror… Do you really think you would call yourself that if you didn't feel this way?”
“No… I wouldn't call myself all of those names or you... whatever,” she replied.
“If you need someone to talk to, your father will always be there for you and would never abandon you. He is suffering as well and he needs you more than ever while you just think about yourself?”
Amanda leaned in closer to her reflection and saw that every detail was just like hers, down to what clothes she wore and the dried up tears from her face.
“You are here for a reason and that reason doesn't involve trying to kill yourself and making your father miserable and that would probably lead him to die as well. I beg you to go and get your phone and talk to the people that care and make you change your mind and live your life.”
Her reflection moved her hand across the mirror and Amanda started to cry tears of joy and left the bathroom and thinking it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She truly didn't want to die so she called her dad to come and talked to her friends about how she felt.
Amanda left the bathroom, but her reflection was still there. When she left she didn't notice, but her reflection started to smile at her. It was a warm smile and her reflection started to cry, but with tears of happiness for Amanda.
“It was never your fault, honey… It wasn't anyone’s fault. It was just my time to go.”
Amanda’s reflection started to change, but the clothes stayed the same. Her facial features changed and her face started to change into a more mature one. Her hair turned from dark motionless brown to a wavy spun gold with a golden ring hovering over her head. The figure got taller and turned into an older woman that kept on smiling to where Amanda left into her room.
“I will always look after you. I am your guardian angel.”
Wings started to slowly grow from her back and glow from the bathroom light and some white feathers started to fall off inside the reflection. The woman backed away deeper into the reflection and disappeared as she heard the voices from Amanda in her room and the cries of help from her to her loved ones.