In the panhandle of Oklahoma, along the interstate, there is a lone brick building marked, “Post Office No.56”. A strip of tape at the door reads, “Closed”. The building has no windows, looking from a distance like a small box made of bricks. The door is always locked and refuses to open.
On the 7th of July, if you are positioned to the west of the building with the door opposite to where you stand, your nose will begin to bleed. If you drink some of the blood, one of your teeth will fall out.
Take the tooth and go to the door. The tape will vanish, and the building will have one, small, eye-shaped window.
If you go to the window and place the tooth in it, the door will click open. Do not look in the window. Never look in the window.
When you open the door, a slow, salty breeze will blow out, and the entire room will be pitch black. Enter the room and shut the door. You must wait in the darkness for up to an hour, depending on the last time you saw your parents.
After the time is up, a single shrill scream will sound. If you flinch, you will wake up in your bed, sweating. If you remain resolute, close your eyes quickly and start running. After what seems like an eternity you will run headfirst into a wall. Fight the pain. Do not open your eyes.
Using the wall as a guide, turn to the right and begin walking. Eventually you will feel yourself bump into what feels like another person. Apologize for not looking where you were going and explain that you have a pounding headache. The creature will sympathize and ask if he may examine your head. Tell him that he may and bow your head. His spider-like hands will caress your throbbing head and he will continue to sympathize. Do not let him continue for more than a minute or he will take your sight and leave you to wander the post office and its untold horrors for the rest of your life. Thank it and extend your hand as if to shake his. You will feel his hands wrap around yours. Your ring finger will freeze and go numb.
Open your eyes and you will find yourself outside of the post office with your hand wrapped firmly around the doorknob, your ring finger numb from the cold. The next day, untold fortune will befall you. However, your romantic endeavors will fail miserably for the rest of your days.