Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to feel nothing? To never have to deal with emotions? Have you ever wanted to just be numb to everything that happens to everything and everyone around you, to literally not give a single fuck what happens to this world? Well don't bother. It's not as fun as you think it is, in fact it's nothing at all. Feeling nothing means you're just taking up space in this world, I should know.
They say that to make music you must be in touch with your feelings, I proved them wrong. I play the violin, my music makes so many people happy and relaxed, but I simply do not care. I do it just to do it. Tomorrow I could be a man-whore for all I care. But no, I make music. It's the only "productive" thing I can do in this fucking world without wasting away in my cave of an apartment. It's basically a reflection of who I am inside. Just like my emotions, it's empty, no fridge, no furniture, no color. Just some bland sheets and curtains to keep the sun out, my clothes, and my violin.
One night, I was walking to my next recital for I don't own a car, never cared for them. I took a shortcut through the woods like usual, it's darker right now due to it being winter. I can still see though, so no need for a flashlight. I continue walking and sense someone following me, but I keep walking. Must be a crazy stalker fan-girl. Again. I hear her getting closer, being clumsily noisy as if wanting my attention.
I decided to turn around to tell her to find somewhere else to be because I don't have time for her (or anyone really) but what I find is not a girl. I don't think it's even human. The "man" towered over me, and I mean he REALLY towered over me, and since I'm 6'4" that says something. In the darkness I see no face, or hair, but he's wearing a black suit with a red tie. I still don't have time for this - whatever-it-is.
I turned back around and continued walking again, "If you're lost just follow me, or don't, I don't care." That's when I felt something on my waist, then found myself hanging up-side-down by a black thing coming out of its back, and my violin dropped to the ground.
I didn't feel scared, or shocked, my face was just as blank as his. After a moment he tilted his head to the side, almost as if questioning my lack of fear and shock. But I didn't answer, I just kept the blank face, feeling the blood rush to my face due to being held up-side-down. After a while I get put back on my feet, and it disappeared in the night, but I just grabbed my violin and made my way to the recital.
Once there, I performed to the crowd, they clapped and cheered as I walked off stage. And as I did so, I saw the same "man" that I encountered in the forest. He didn't clap, he didn't do anything but stand there and stare. But again, I don't care. And I most certainly didn't care when I found him in my apartment. I just went around him like he was nothing. I lied down in my bed and fell asleep even with the man's "gaze" on me.
The next morning he was still there. Same spot. I made my way to the bathroom for nature called, and when I looked in the mirror when washing my hands he was in the reflection. But this time, he had a smile on his face. His mouth looked like he just tore it open, but I don't feel shocked, I still don't feel anything. I turned to face him (he was in my way of leaving the bathroom) and he wouldn't budge. Instead, two black things came out of his back again, one went for around my shoulders, the other went for my waist. I was lifted into the air, he pulled me forward then quickly back and the back of my neck smashed into the lightbulb above my mirror, electrocuting me. I felt my mouth foam as his grin grew wider.
My eyes rolled to the back of my skull and after blacking out I was in my bed. Unharmed and unfeeling, he was gone too. I got up, and nature called. I went to the bathroom and nothing like what happened in my dream had happened. But my nose was bleeding. Oh well. A few more days have passed and I've been getting severe headaches, I've been hearing static go on and off, I've been coughing up blood, some of it even came out of my ass. I decided to just rot in my apartment until it was over, didn't really make a difference to me.
It's been a whole week, and I looked like death and physically felt like crap. The static has gotten worse, and I can no longer move. The lights were flickering on and off, and it was very cold in here. I hear my floor give a long creak, I weakly turned my head, and saw that man. THAT TALL, THIN, MAN! For once, I felt something, I felt rage, anger, I know he was doing this to me. I didn't do anything to him! Even offered to help him! What the fuck is wrong with him?! How is he doing this?!
Confusion comes into the mix, along with panic as he comes closer, a ripping sound coming from him. And that SMILE is back, just like in the dream. I tried to move but I couldn't due to the massive blood loss, I tried to scream, to yell, but nothing came out. I just stared wide-eyed at this - this THING. I was picked up once again, upright and facing it. I hear many voices, as if they were whispers echoing in the distance, saying:
"Do you feel it? That fear? I can smell it now, all of those repressed emotions filling the air with its stench. It's delicious. But not as delicous as your soul~."