Hello America and the world. As you’ve soon noticed we’ve been in a state of peace. Everyone is as nice as can be and it’s scaring our people. We’ve been told that this is the apocalypse, but does it feel like it? Is it the media messing with us? I’m here to reveal everything today.
This is a disease called schizonoia. The term comes from Schizophrenia and Paranoia, as the host starts to see items that aren’t real and that they feel like they’ll be attacked every moment of their lives.
We had a interview with a victim earlier, we’d like to post it but the man had killed himself during it. The signs have been confirmed; the person will stare into nothing like an owl, and they’ll grow a grin they can’t get rid of. Gradually the disease will reach the heart, infecting it with parasites allowing them to grow and feed, as well as spread through the blood stream. We condone you to stay away from them as the virus is airborne and is physically spread.
* News cuts off to commercials and comes back *
Hello, and welcome back. I’ve just been told that half of the European and Asian continents have been infected. Those poor people, I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry and please feel better soon. I know that means nothing, but whatever. The way the disease kills people is by clogging the blood stream. It’s a slow and painless death, in some cases it’s fast. Now we go to the weather.
* Cuts to a weather report *
We’re back, I hope you enjoyed the weather report. I’ve received a message that Europe and Asia have been infected entirely and are now dying. The poor souls. Scientists sent us a memo that everyone will die in only a few days. I am sad to tell you this, so I say spend as much time with your families as you possibly can. We will get back to you all tomorrow. Please stay safe and indoors.
* Scene cuts to a graph of the world showing Europe and Asia completely a gray area representing everyone being dead, and showing Africa and Australia turning red. *
Hello, we’re back for the report of schizonoia. As you’ve seen on the chart, Europe and Asia are sadly no more… If anyone has lost a family member residing there-and I speak for everyone here-I say we’re deeply sorry and we mourn for your losses too, but we have to move on. We hope all of you slept well and didn’t go outside last night; we don’t want any more deaths now. We have been receiving many updates from scientists about the virus also.
The virus has been started due to the state of peace throughout the world, people have become content with it causing them to grow giant grins. People also grew paranoid, thinking a bomb would drop on them or they’d be shot or something bad would happen.
That’s where the schizophrenia comes in, driving them insane and letting their genes mutate into a horrid substance, which is where the parasite grasps on and grows. We need to go into a war before it’s too late, but this would prove nothing except the fact we’re just savages who will do anything to survive. Enough of this for a few minutes, here’s the weather.
*Cuts to weather report and the reporter talks about hurricane Sandy and the forecast for the states that will be unaffected. She goes on to tell the residents of the northeast to stay safe and to stay indoors. The weather report is over and it cuts back to the news reporter *
Hello, we’re back and this just in, the CDC are working on a cure to finally kill the virus, once and for all. We’ve been told that it’s a quarter of the way done, and that we could probably be able to cure everyone before the rest of the world dies away. As we get through the day, more and more innocent members and accused criminals have died because of the virus, it seems like an apocalyptic prophecy that was never mentioned. *the reporter looks away to what seems to be someone in the background* I have just seen an updated graph of the virus spreading, and the virus has started to spread to the Americas and the North and South Pole, as well as half of Australia and Africa being a gray area. This disease is worse than we’ve thought.
The CDC has sent us a report telling us that the cure will be finished soon, and that we must hold on. Well CDC members, we’ve been holding on, but I don’t see how a freaking reassurance letter will HELP ANYONE! Hurry up if you want to live!
* Cuts off to an “experiencing technical difficulties” screen, and then turns back to the news *
I’m sorry for the outburst, I’ve just been irritated knowing that my family could die soon, but I know everyone else feels the same way, so I shouldn’t act out of place. We’ve gained knowledge from the scientists, that the virus is spreading quickly and that the world will be infected in only a few hours. That’s it for today; good night folks, sleep well, and stay inside.
* The news cast starts to fade away, this time with a catchy tune. The station starts to show the next show, in which a man is religiously ranting about the reason why the apocalypse is happening, and that we’ll pay for our sins by rotting in the depths of Hell. *
* The world map shows that Africa and Australia have fully become gray areas, and that most of the Americas are covered in red. The news cast turns on and the catchy tune plays. *
Hello, welcome to day 3 of schizonoia. As you’ve seen, America has been infected, showing that y’all have ignored my advice. This is something y’all should’ve listened to. Africa and Australia have turned into dead zones and the CDC hasn’t sent word. We are to assume they have been infected and aren’t able to do anything.
This will be out last news cast ever, most likely, and this is the last day for everyone. Well America, the Rapture has come and Judgment shall be passed for the sins y’all have committed. This will be how y’all are judged. I haven’t seen my family at all, and they’ve shot anyone who has tried to enter the building. This is a horrible place to be and the body count keeps rising. I have seen Hell and I have seen salvation. I’ve been saved, and hopefully you can be too. I’m going to go now. We’ve had reason to believe the CDC is dead, and we cannot be cured. This news cast is going to end now, and I'm sorry to say that I’ll see all of you in the afterlife.
* News reporter pulls out a gun* I’m Chandler Graves, and this has been CNN News. *Chandler puts the gun to his head and the scene cuts off, only allowing you to hear a gunshot. *
* The graph of the world shows up and the entire world has turned into a gray area. *