Do you remember those old childhood nursery rhymes? Then you actually research them and find out that they have dark origins? To those who don’t know, I will give them an example: Ring around the Rosies was based on the Black Plague (or Black Death, whatever you want to call it), and described the symptoms of the sickness.
Such curiosity made me suspicious about one particular dance/song. You may very well remember it: the Hokey Pokey. You would think that someone would be interested in the matter enough. It’s a ring of people doing a weird dance, now try and convince me that you do not find it the least bit suspicious. But there was nothing, no suspicions raised on the Internet, no Forums that had anything concerning the Hokey Pokey. Nothing.
But I wasn't satisfied. I had to know for sure that there was nothing wrong, or disturbing about the dance. So I decided to conduct my own test.
I bought a CD player and a CD that contained the Hokey Pokey song on it and locked up the house and closed the curtains. I didn’t want anyone to see what I was about to do, or my reputation would be sabotaged.
I put the CD into the player and just listened to the words the first time around. The familiar music and cheery voice greeted me.
You put your right foot in
You put your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about.
Yep, it’s the right one. I put it back to the start and prepared myself. I pressed play again, and this time danced to the silly song.
I danced to the full song around ten times in a row, only stopping to replay it, when I started to get a… strange feeling; the feeling that I was doing something wrong. I continued another three times, which was when a part of me wanted to stop.
I had the most uncomfortable feeling that something was actually happening.
And, like a fool, I continued another two times. At the end of the fifteenth time of going through the song and dancing to it, the feeling went away. I was about to replay it when I heard something. It was laughter!
But that’s impossible, no-one could have gotten in without triggering my alarms (hey, you can’t judge me for setting them up, I didn’t want anyone seeing me doing the Hokey Pokey).
I listened for any more sounds, anything that would alert me of someone else’s presence in the house. Silence.
It must have been my imagination. No-one could be in here.
I breathed a sigh of relief and pressed the play button again. This time the song was skipping and distorted.
You put your right foot i-i-in
You pu-u-u-u-ut your right foot…
Yo- ut- r- ri- oot- n
And YOu sHakE iT aLl aB-
yOu dO t- Hokey Pokey
ThAt’S … iT’s alL about-
oH t- Hokey PoKeY
Oh tHe hoK… kEy
… The Hokey Pokey
That’s what it’s all about…
It cut out there, leaving me feeling very disturbed. Was this it? Had I just solved a mystery that no-one has ever enquired about?
Unfortunately, things weren’t over yet. I waited there in the silence, pondering my findings, when a sound broke the uneasy silence, and made me wish that I hadn’t done any of this; that my curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of me.
That creepy laughter came again. This time I knew it wasn’t my imagination, as I began to hear running footsteps echoing throughout the house. The footsteps were that of bare feet, slapping the ground, and the laughter was growing more eager.
Where was it coming from? I couldn’t pick up which direction the footsteps were. I slowly backed up to the front door. It was close now, I could hear it.
My hand reached for the handle, and I turned the lock, my back was to the door, I wanted to see what the great big mystery was about the Hokey Pokey, even if it were a big risk. I had to know. Surprisingly, the lock didn’t turn.
I looked at it, and tried again, same result. What was happening? I put more force, and the lock snapped. The door was deadlocked, and I couldn’t get out. And the footsteps were getting closer…
Instinctively, I ran to one of the windows and tried to open it, but it was nailed shut. I grabbed a chair and smashed it against the window, but the chair broke and the window was intact.
I swore and I noticed something was different. The laughing and running footsteps had stopped. I felt a shift in the atmosphere. Something was not right.
I stopped dead, and slowly turned my head. Right at the front door, watching me with the eyes of insanity, was… to be honest I don’t really know what it was.
It was practically a skeleton, with a thin layer of flesh covering its bones. Its eyes were hollow black sockets with a flaming orange iris that stared into the soul. It had shaggy black hair that came down the front of its face, and its mouth… plastered in a permanent, sick smile had needle-sharp teeth that were yellowed and blackened with decay.
With a laugh of madness, it rushed at me.
I bolted, adrenaline rushing through my body. I had to get out. But how? How could I escape when every door was deadlocked; every window nailed shut and seemingly unbreakable?
The running footsteps and creepy laughter began again, causing me to panic even more. I wanted to stop this, to just pause everything so that I could think straight.
The phone! I had to get to the phone! I took a sharp turn to my left, and grabbed the phone from the charger. With that, I took the loop the front door to get to the stairwell leading up the stairs. That was when the creature suddenly cut in front of my path. It wasn't stupid, it knew exactly what I was doing, and moved quickly to prevent me from getting where I needed to go.
I sprinted back in the other direction, and it tossed its head back in mad laughter and continued to give chase. I ran around the house, trying to confuse it so that I had time to think!
I had to get somewhere, somewhere the Hokey Pokey couldn't follow... My subconscious mind acted for me, steering me sharp into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. I didn't lock it in time, though, and the Hokey Pokey opened it. But I managed to get my back against the door in time to arrest any more progress.
I was fighting for my life, and the giggling monster? I'm not sure what was going to do to me, but I really didn't want to find out. I pushed harder, trying to force the door shut, but the Hokey Pokey was stronger than it looked, and matched my resistance with its strength. I was beginning to lose hope, beginning to tire.
But then I thought about all those people, not one of them knowing the dark truth about the Hokey Pokey, not questioning it. I can only assume that there were people who thought about it, and did put it to the test, but something happened that prevented them from getting the word out. This... this twisted nightmare happened.
I then thought about pople in the future who would do this, never knowing the dangers. Someone like me.
I couldn't let this happen.
These thoughts made me push harder, and my heart soared when I actually started winning, which gave me new strength to continue.
I could tell the Hokey Pokey also knew what was happening, as it made one last desperate move: it reached out and grabbed my right arm. It must have expected a different result, as my body spasmed, forcing me to force the door shut. A sickening crunch and an earsplitting howl followed after.
Retreating footssteps were heard, and the wail accompanied them. I looked down, and on the ground, in a pool of black liquid, was the forearm of the Hokey Pokey. It was twitching for a few seconds before it stopped, and stayed there for another few seconds before it disappeared in a black shroud.
I locked the door and leaned against it, and waited there for about ten minutes, just to make sure it was really gone, before I dared to unlock the door. And even then I didn't quite have th courage to open it. I first waited, just in case it made some sort of reaction, before opening the door up a crack and peeking through it.
To my relief, the coast was clear. The Hokey Pokey was nowhere to be seen, or heard, for that matter.
Now, I am writing my findings. I hope the Hokey Pokey does not return for me, although I'm almost certain that it will. So I took the liberty of buying a gun (yes, I did get out. It turns out that it left the upstairs windows as they were, as only a madman, or someone with the time to think, would have tried to escape through them.) and asking the police to remove the deadlocks. They will be coming by in the morning, so, in spite of all this, I can't complain.
I'm tired, now, so I'll get some sleep after a long day, in preparation for another big day tomorrow.
Wait, what was that? Was that movement under my bed? Or was it just the bed because of me shifting my weight on it?
Hold on. I hear... LAUGHTER! Oh good God, no. It's back! It's-