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I hid it, I hid everything. Nothing of it was to ever be seen, said, remembered or hinted. It was everything to me, it was me. But now it shames me, irks me, torments me. But then, what gave my life meaning was how the destruction of life came will only be known by me? No, I’ll tell you, explain in excruciating, painful, detail because it was painful. And the only way you’ll know this story, is my way.
In my time, the life of a scientist was the life of a man who believed knowledge meant power, and power meant control. And control, was then my goal. Unlike my colleagues, I was not fascinated with how the stars twinkled, or how the plants came from the ground. What I was fascinated with was the instance of life and death. It amazed me, from a scientific standpoint. There was little reason for such an odd instance. A rock does not live, but we do? I wanted to know just what created the intelligence of thought and action, I believed it was a chemical process, a solution that sent the wheels of life turning, and I was bent to finding it, bent, to the point of even making a simple man’s sanity come undone.
My colleagues made fun of me. How they scoffed! They called me insane! But I assured myself it was their ignorance that would spell their downfall, and my eventual rise to power. I will not tell you the date, for I wish not to utter any more words of it more than I already have.
My first experiment was branded “Extreme, blasphemous and against any right of life.” But I knew what I was doing. The experiment itself first called for the examination of fluids within a rat. Although I did not know which fluid was the solution to life, I categorized every single different kind I found.
Then I got another rat, starved it for days, and placed it in a tiny hallway, the hall was riddles with knives, blades, traps, and filled with poisonous gases with piles of food at the end. I wished to know what decision the rat would make, and if it did, what fluid would enact such a thought, for it was the need to live, and thus that fluid would cause life.
I studied carefully, as the rat went for the food; its tail was cut off. Its side was gouged from the blades and bled puss mixed with the blood from what was left of its frail body, left leaving an unsteady trail behind it, and the animal eventually collapsed and succumbed to the gas. After an autopsy, I compared the fluids I found with my initial studies, I found an abundance of a fluid I assumed that increased heart rate. Adrenaline! I knew very well this was impossible to start life, but at least at that moment there was another alternative I could strive for.
I suggested my new plan to my colleagues and they banned me from the entire campus! They were outraged, calling me uncaring and insensitive to life! But those fools! They did not know that my entire study was for the purpose of benefitting man! Perhaps they thought the sacrifices too great, but I believed it would suffice.
While I was walking away, I passed by a hospital and saw a mother with her newborn child pass by. While I did not know then, this would lead to the path of no return. When a child is born, the fluids in which they grew and were given are still present. But just in case I wanted a newly born child to compare it to one that has died. I knew the newborn would be hard to get, as I had no way of keeping a baby alive during an autopsy, so I started with the latter, the dead. I first tried to collect corpses from the cemetery on a moonless night, even though it was illegal to dig up the dead.
When examined, almost all the fluid was gone and dried with the long-dead subjects. I knew then my object of study had to be fresh, very fresh. So once more on another moonless night, I went to one of the grave watchers and placed a dose of cyanide in his drink. When he died, I carefully took him to the basement of my home. I had no laboratory anymore, that was taken away from I was excluded from the campus, so my basement had to do.
Obviously the human was bigger than the mouse, and I made a terrible mess. It was so fresh that when I opened the rib cage blood spattered everywhere! But after a long, hard and tedious work, I had categorized every fluid I found on the murdered individual; it was a man of polish decent. He was of average height with auburn hair and brown eyes. He was dead, and people would wonder where he went. At this thought, I soon panicked, “What must I do?!” I then found the answer. I must clean the mess, cut the limbs into small enough bits to be put into a bag and thrown into the sea, to remain at the bottom (for at least what I thought would be) forever! When the deed was done, I felt a weight had be lifted, no one would suspect it was but poor me who had killed the man! And oh how I enjoyed every moment, so perverse was I, so sinister and cruel was I! I, in the name of science!
It took me awhile to think of a plan but I finally concluded what I must do. In this town the hospital is far away, and often a woman in labor won’t have time to get there in time, so sometimes they stay at home. And often the complications will ultimately kill them. But that would take too much time waiting; I needed answers and data now! So I had to kill the mother after birth to ensure that the baby was mine, and it must appear to be a complication. The best I could do was the cyanide. So then, finally, when I witnessed a woman giving birth in her own home, I carefully slipped cyanide into what she drank. And when she was dead and the father was gone, I took the baby to my home.
When it was home, I felt I was the happiest man in the world! The rush I felt when the woman died and the baby was taken right under that fool of a husband’s nose was euphoric! I took the child to my basement, call me mad but I felt it was more satisfying to hear the child’s cries for life when it was already be driven away, (Or, drained away, ha-ha!)
Upon examination I finally found a different fluid than what was in the Polish man, it seemed to be some colorless fluid found in the umbilical cord! This was my answer! This was the fluid that starts life!
Without proper testing, I went to my colleagues and told then everything I had done and also ran my first test right before their eyes I made a dead plant come back to life! But when I tried nothing had happened, I was in complete disarray and utter shock. They pinned me down and called the police, I screamed, I ranted like a madman until they knocked me unconscious.
They took me in and charged me with the murder of three individuals, and I was sentenced life in prison. That is my story, and I have told you everything I wanted you to know. Whether it’s false or could be worse, is up to your imagination.